him out of curiosity.
“Yeah, they are.” He looked a bit shameful as if he knew what I was going to say next.
“My mom and dad were married once. Sometime after my sister was born he split. When she was three he showed up again or so I’ve heard. I mean, it has to be true because I’m here. He didn’t stay though. He got the hell out before I even met him.”
“He left your mom twice? What an asshole.”
I nodded in agreement. “I used to wonder if my life would have been different, had he stayed.”
Mason moved closer to me and wrapped his right arm around my shoulders. “What do you mean?”
“My mom was fucking unstable. I don’t even know if that’s the best word to describe her.” My chest tightened a bit. “She…well, she got involved in drugs. I don’t know exactly when it happened because sometimes we didn’t see her for days.”
The look on his face wasn’t one of pity. It was understanding which shocked the hell out of me. He had a decent childhood. I also knew he was still close with his parents. They called him often and vice versa.
“You mentioned a sister. What happened to her?”
London, my sister. Jill was the only other person who knew about my sister and my mother. The absent dad and half conscious mother wasn’t so horrible but if anyone really knew what happened; the spotlight would be on me and I would be Hollywood’s gossip magazine charity case.
“Her name was London and she was my family; my true family. We were only three years apart but she took care of me. I think now, how selfish I was. No one took care of her.” Tears did not fall for my sister. The emotions ran so far and stopped because I had cut the tie that bound them.
Mason looked concerned, as far as I could tell in the dimming light, and it could have been my lack of emotional reactions to the things that were spilling from my mouth or it could have been the alcohol coursing through his system.
“When London was twenty, she overdosed on a combination of pills and cocaine. I guess that’s right. My mother wouldn’t tell me the whole story but I knew she turned my sister into a monster just like her.” My stomach twisted in knots as I thought about how much I disliked my mother. So many times I had wished it was her instead.
The room was silent and thankfully, finally, pitch black. I could feel Mason breathing heavily next to me. We sat like that for an undetermined amount of time before he spoke. When he spoke it was almost a whisper.
“Fallyn, I don’t know what to say.”
“Just don’t tell anyone OK?” I was almost certain he wouldn’t.
“I don’t think I could repeat it. I don’t know how you told me all that without a hint of emotion.”
“Isn’t that what happens when you get over something?” I wasn’t stupid; I wasn’t anywhere near being over the things my mother had done.
His hand tightened on my shoulder. “No, that’s not how things are. You loved your sister, right?”
My throat was tight and scratchy just thinking about it. “She was all I had for the longest time, Mason. Of course I loved her.”
“Then it’s OK to be upset.”
I moved his arm and stood from the bed to move across the room. I leaned against the dresser, still in the complete black that had taken over. “Don’t tell me how to feel…I’ll do this in my own way.”
He slid from the bed and I couldn’t see him but I could hear his feet on the carpeted floor. There was a shuffling and when his warm, bare chest met my waiting hands I realized he’d taken his shirt off. His forehead fell against mine.
“It’s lonely, isn’t it?” He questioned and I could imagine the green of his eyes, intense and locked on mine.
“What do you know about being lonely, huh? You have a family that loves you and friends that would do anything for you.” Who was he kidding?
“It is possible to have everything you want and still feel empty; like something’s missing.”
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