Read Online vicarious.ly by Emilio Cecconi - Free Book Online Page B

with me it made me feel alone, like I was the only person experiencing life the way I see it. Paul thought that there was real beauty the way he described the way an individual experiences the world. He believed that since every person experiences life in such a different way, isn’t it beautiful that people can have relationships with each other and have common experiences that matter in an enduring way? I still think about what he told me on his wedding day,
    “We’ve been friends a long time Jake. We’ve had many common experiences but more experiences where we have been apart. Isn’t is amazing then that you and me can both agree that we’re great friends? Isn’t it amazing how we remember many of the same memories out of all the possible memories we have? That makes me believe that this world isn’t a random place. Relationships and friendship are beautiful things,” Paul said to me as a newlywed.
    All of these thoughts about non-randomness and the importance of friendship made me think about my relationship with Michelle. I bet she would agree that we are extremely important to each other. I would go as far to say that her and I have been attracted to each other in the last few years. It was time to actuate and articulate the flickering thoughts and desires that I’ve had about her for the past few years.
    So here I am back in Boston attempting to meet up with her. I instantly saw the influence that she’s had in my life when I swung my door open. The arrangement of my apartment is all due to her. I called her on Tuesday to see if she was available for Friday night dinner. I told her I had a few things to talk to her about and that I wanted to update her with my life.
    “Of course! It’s been too long. Hey, I’ve been feeling kind of bad about how we parted last time. Let’s just pick things up right where they left off,” she said.
    I got excited. Come to think about it, I haven’t really been in contact with Michelle much since that day at the MFA. We decided on this Italian restaurant close to where we live. I spend the better part of the week wondering what things I would say to her. Maybe Crista had already tipped Michelle off about our conversation over New Year’s? Michelle did seem really excited to hear from me. My heart was beating faster throughout the week every time I found myself daydreaming about the next time I’d see Michelle. Sometimes I’d feel nervous and at other times I would feel excited.
    I flew into Boston Thursday night from Raleigh, where my new client was at, and immediately couldn’t wait for the next day. Before I got ready to meet Michelle even the trivial things that I never thought about were starting to be major decisions. What cologne should I wear? What jacket should I wear? Jeans or slacks? Every detail mattered.
    I met Michelle at her front door and saw he smile at me. She looked stunning. She came up to me, gave me an embrace and a kiss on the cheek. I was careful not to breathe to close to her because I had a few shots of whisky to get me relaxed right before I went over to her place.
    “Jake, so great to see you,” she said.
    “Can you believe we haven’t seen each other after our yearly art museum meeting?” I said.
    “Yea so much has happened since then, I have to tell you all about it,” she said.
    We walked over to the South End to this Italian restaurant and were seated promptly. We had a tiny table by the front window where I could see the fresh snowfall outside. I ordered a bottle of wine and Michelle and I just started speaking like old times again. I decided to test the scenario that I was walking into out a little bit.
    “Michelle, did you ever hear that I ran into Crista over New Year’s,” I said.
    “Oh yea, she said you two had a great conversation. She’s always been a fan of you,” Michelle said.
    I didn’t know how to read Michelle’s answer. Had Crista updated her on the conversation that we had? Maybe Michelle already suspected