Read Online vicarious.ly by Emilio Cecconi - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Emilio Cecconi
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into any graduate school I wanted to go to. I was doing something that never happened before. It was exciting and was a rush.
Then things changed.
I finally ran into Kyla again at a party during my junior year of college. I just wanted to see if she could even remember who I was. I introduced myself to her, stumbling around drunk as usual. We chatted and talked. I told her that I was doing a philology project called Eden. I told her that I was trying to map all the languages to a common source. I was so excited to see if she remembered that first week of college. She told me that the only thing that she remembered about me was that I came in on the second week of class and gave the professor a form saying that I dropped the class. Apparently after I left, the professor asked if anybody else wanted to drop the course they were free to do so. Kyla said that she wished she would have taken up the professor on her offer.
I began talking about Eden hopefully trying to stir up the memories of her comment on that first day of class.
“That’s pretty cool,” she said half not listening to what I was saying.
“Haven’t you ever thought about it. You know if all the languages that we have spoken come from a common source?” I said.
I was trying to see if she remembered the discussion on the first day of ancient languages.
“Not really. The only thing I really remember about ancient languages is that I really disliked it.” She said.
My mind was blown that this one girl that ingrained this idea in my mind did not recall this conversation that shaped the next two years of my life. Wasn’t the joke really on me when Kyla told me that she met me plenty of times before I finally recalled her name that one night we spent the night going around the St. Charles River? During the whole time I dated her, I kept hoping that one day she would remember the first day of Ancient Languages. I was trying to make her recall that memory by talking about Eden, by giving her semantics books, by spending time with her talking about language formation. None of it rang a bell and she was clueless about my endeavors to try to make her remember about a moment that changed my life.
Every time I worked on Eden after Kyla and I broke up, I just saw her shadows everywhere. Maybe I should have told her about the comment she made in Ancient Languages. I can’t change the past, but at the time I wasn’t prepared to handle the lack of enthusiasm and drive that I had after she walked out of my life.
Kyla said, “You’ll never look at me the same way you look at Eden.” I still cringe thinking about how much of a sick joke that statement it.
Eden began and died with Kyla. I’ve said enough.
Michelle II – February 2013
After a whole month of procrastinating, I finally got around to calling Michelle to meet up with her again. By this point it’s been a couple of months since we’ve seen each other. In my defense, I’ve been escaping from the New England winter by going to Miami a couple of times in the past month for the weekend. I fell in love with Florida ever since New Year’s in the Florida Keys. One of my coworkers lives in Miami so he’s been showing me around the nightlife of South Beach. It’s funny, even though I was being introduced to new people quite frequently I couldn’t stop thinking about Michelle.
Every so often I would think that I caught a glimpse of Michelle in a public place. Of course it wasn’t her, I was in a different geographic region that she was in. When I realized I was having these strange thoughts, I recalled some memories from college with Paul.
Paul would talk about how our thoughts and desires shape the way that we experience the world around us. There are so many things happening at any given moment that your mind has to filter most things out. What you’re left with is a highly subjective version of the world and what is happening around you. Whenever Paul would share his philosophical thoughts
Then things changed.
I finally ran into Kyla again at a party during my junior year of college. I just wanted to see if she could even remember who I was. I introduced myself to her, stumbling around drunk as usual. We chatted and talked. I told her that I was doing a philology project called Eden. I told her that I was trying to map all the languages to a common source. I was so excited to see if she remembered that first week of college. She told me that the only thing that she remembered about me was that I came in on the second week of class and gave the professor a form saying that I dropped the class. Apparently after I left, the professor asked if anybody else wanted to drop the course they were free to do so. Kyla said that she wished she would have taken up the professor on her offer.
I began talking about Eden hopefully trying to stir up the memories of her comment on that first day of class.
“That’s pretty cool,” she said half not listening to what I was saying.
“Haven’t you ever thought about it. You know if all the languages that we have spoken come from a common source?” I said.
I was trying to see if she remembered the discussion on the first day of ancient languages.
“Not really. The only thing I really remember about ancient languages is that I really disliked it.” She said.
My mind was blown that this one girl that ingrained this idea in my mind did not recall this conversation that shaped the next two years of my life. Wasn’t the joke really on me when Kyla told me that she met me plenty of times before I finally recalled her name that one night we spent the night going around the St. Charles River? During the whole time I dated her, I kept hoping that one day she would remember the first day of Ancient Languages. I was trying to make her recall that memory by talking about Eden, by giving her semantics books, by spending time with her talking about language formation. None of it rang a bell and she was clueless about my endeavors to try to make her remember about a moment that changed my life.
Every time I worked on Eden after Kyla and I broke up, I just saw her shadows everywhere. Maybe I should have told her about the comment she made in Ancient Languages. I can’t change the past, but at the time I wasn’t prepared to handle the lack of enthusiasm and drive that I had after she walked out of my life.
Kyla said, “You’ll never look at me the same way you look at Eden.” I still cringe thinking about how much of a sick joke that statement it.
Eden began and died with Kyla. I’ve said enough.
Michelle II – February 2013
After a whole month of procrastinating, I finally got around to calling Michelle to meet up with her again. By this point it’s been a couple of months since we’ve seen each other. In my defense, I’ve been escaping from the New England winter by going to Miami a couple of times in the past month for the weekend. I fell in love with Florida ever since New Year’s in the Florida Keys. One of my coworkers lives in Miami so he’s been showing me around the nightlife of South Beach. It’s funny, even though I was being introduced to new people quite frequently I couldn’t stop thinking about Michelle.
Every so often I would think that I caught a glimpse of Michelle in a public place. Of course it wasn’t her, I was in a different geographic region that she was in. When I realized I was having these strange thoughts, I recalled some memories from college with Paul.
Paul would talk about how our thoughts and desires shape the way that we experience the world around us. There are so many things happening at any given moment that your mind has to filter most things out. What you’re left with is a highly subjective version of the world and what is happening around you. Whenever Paul would share his philosophical thoughts
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