Read Online Vernon God Little by Tanya Ronder, D. B. C. Pierre - Free Book Online
Authors: Tanya Ronder, D. B. C. Pierre
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back out through the door. I don't know about where you live, but around here we teach life's hard lessons with our lips.
Abdini stands. 'Objection!'
'Pipe down, Mr Abdini, we have other attorneys on call,' says the judge.
Gurie lifts her eyebrow. 'Your honor, this new information, you know …'
'No, I do not know. What I know ain't a whole lot so far.'
The typist and Gurie exchange a glance. They sigh. The ole court officer immediately turns to frown my way. 'She ain't seen it yet,' the guard behind me says under his breath. Everybody tightens their lips.
'What is going on here?' asks the judge. 'Has this court slipped into a parallel universe? Have I been left behind?'
'Ma'am, some new facts came to light - we're following them up right now.'
'Then I'm going to release your suspect until you can show me some particulars. I also expect you to apologize for all this trouble.'
A high-voltage tremor cracks through me, of hope, excitement, and ass-naked fear. You think I'm going to stick around for the so-called justice system to get its shit together? Am I fuck. Buses leave Martirio every two hours for Austin or San Antonio. The automatic teller machine with fifty-two dollars in it, from Nana's lawnmowing fund, is a block from the Greyhound station. Which is five blocks from here.
The typist sighs, and tightens her lips some more. Then she leans up to the bench and cups a hand to the judge's ear. Judge Gurie listens, frowning. She puts on her glasses and looks at me. Then at the typist.
'When's the next report? Lunch time?'
The typist nods; one righteous eye darts to Vaine. The judge reaches for her hammer. 'Court is adjourned until two o'clock.'
'Bam.'
'All-a rise,' says the guard.
Men hardened by the friction of learning, steel men of savvy quietly applied, crusty ole boys of rough-hewn glory, probably smoke a lonely cigarette in their cells during lunch breaks from court.
They probably don't have to talk to their moms.
'Well Vernon, what I mean is, do you have your own room, or did they put you with other - you know, other men …?'
Barry stands leering by the phone, eyes puckered into goats' cunts. It seems Eileena's eyebrows perch high this lunchtime too, as far as her wooden hair allows. I don't know about where you live, but around here we take the moral high ground with our eyebrows.
'Well you know,' says Mom, 'you hear about the nice boys, the clean boys, always getting - you know, you hear about bigger men, hardened criminals, always getting the nice boys and …'
After God-knows-how-many years of life in this free country she doesn't have the tools to just say, 'Have you been taken up the ass yet by some lifer?' That's how pathetic things are. Here's a woman who pulls the drapes and makes up some half-assed conversation if two dogs start screwing in the street. Yet, for all I know she probably takes a fucken fire-hydrant up the ass every night, just for kicks.
Boy, I tell you.
Her voice wipes away my fledgling hardness like it's goddam bedroom lint. What kind of fucken life is this? Light through the window calls me, sings of melted ice-cream on the sidewalk outside, the ghost of little tears nearby. Summer dresses full of fresh air, Mexico down the way. But not for me. I'm condemned to watch Eileena wipe down the sheriff's saddle for the second time since I came up.
I find myself wondering if the sheriff's saddle usually gets so much attention, and if it does, why it ain't worn away to nothing. Then I see the room has a TV. Eileena's eye snaps to it.
It's the lunchtime news. You hear the fanfare of trumpets and drums, then the face of an asshole appears in the far distance, staring through the back window of a departing Smith County Sheriff's truck.
'Vernon, I have some bones to pick with you,' says Mom.
'I have to go now.'
'Well Vernon …'
'Click.'
My eyes latch onto the screen. A breeze rustles cellophane on the Lechugas' teddy farm, then snags a wire of Lally's hair and floats it off
Abdini stands. 'Objection!'
'Pipe down, Mr Abdini, we have other attorneys on call,' says the judge.
Gurie lifts her eyebrow. 'Your honor, this new information, you know …'
'No, I do not know. What I know ain't a whole lot so far.'
The typist and Gurie exchange a glance. They sigh. The ole court officer immediately turns to frown my way. 'She ain't seen it yet,' the guard behind me says under his breath. Everybody tightens their lips.
'What is going on here?' asks the judge. 'Has this court slipped into a parallel universe? Have I been left behind?'
'Ma'am, some new facts came to light - we're following them up right now.'
'Then I'm going to release your suspect until you can show me some particulars. I also expect you to apologize for all this trouble.'
A high-voltage tremor cracks through me, of hope, excitement, and ass-naked fear. You think I'm going to stick around for the so-called justice system to get its shit together? Am I fuck. Buses leave Martirio every two hours for Austin or San Antonio. The automatic teller machine with fifty-two dollars in it, from Nana's lawnmowing fund, is a block from the Greyhound station. Which is five blocks from here.
The typist sighs, and tightens her lips some more. Then she leans up to the bench and cups a hand to the judge's ear. Judge Gurie listens, frowning. She puts on her glasses and looks at me. Then at the typist.
'When's the next report? Lunch time?'
The typist nods; one righteous eye darts to Vaine. The judge reaches for her hammer. 'Court is adjourned until two o'clock.'
'Bam.'
'All-a rise,' says the guard.
Men hardened by the friction of learning, steel men of savvy quietly applied, crusty ole boys of rough-hewn glory, probably smoke a lonely cigarette in their cells during lunch breaks from court.
They probably don't have to talk to their moms.
'Well Vernon, what I mean is, do you have your own room, or did they put you with other - you know, other men …?'
Barry stands leering by the phone, eyes puckered into goats' cunts. It seems Eileena's eyebrows perch high this lunchtime too, as far as her wooden hair allows. I don't know about where you live, but around here we take the moral high ground with our eyebrows.
'Well you know,' says Mom, 'you hear about the nice boys, the clean boys, always getting - you know, you hear about bigger men, hardened criminals, always getting the nice boys and …'
After God-knows-how-many years of life in this free country she doesn't have the tools to just say, 'Have you been taken up the ass yet by some lifer?' That's how pathetic things are. Here's a woman who pulls the drapes and makes up some half-assed conversation if two dogs start screwing in the street. Yet, for all I know she probably takes a fucken fire-hydrant up the ass every night, just for kicks.
Boy, I tell you.
Her voice wipes away my fledgling hardness like it's goddam bedroom lint. What kind of fucken life is this? Light through the window calls me, sings of melted ice-cream on the sidewalk outside, the ghost of little tears nearby. Summer dresses full of fresh air, Mexico down the way. But not for me. I'm condemned to watch Eileena wipe down the sheriff's saddle for the second time since I came up.
I find myself wondering if the sheriff's saddle usually gets so much attention, and if it does, why it ain't worn away to nothing. Then I see the room has a TV. Eileena's eye snaps to it.
It's the lunchtime news. You hear the fanfare of trumpets and drums, then the face of an asshole appears in the far distance, staring through the back window of a departing Smith County Sheriff's truck.
'Vernon, I have some bones to pick with you,' says Mom.
'I have to go now.'
'Well Vernon …'
'Click.'
My eyes latch onto the screen. A breeze rustles cellophane on the Lechugas' teddy farm, then snags a wire of Lally's hair and floats it off
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