Read Online Venus Envy by Rita Mae Brown - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Rita Mae Brown
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save me.”
“No, but I can stand by you. And so will Auntie Ruru.”
Frazier turned her glass around in her hand a few revolutions. “Billy, maybe.”
“Billy?”
“Considering I told Billy he’s going to hell in a handbasket, in so many words, I don’t know which way he’ll cut. I think it’s me that will get cut, actually.”
“He’s gay, too, of course.”
“I don’t feel it’s my duty to blow the whistle on anyone else.”
“Bullshit. I’m not an idiot. Anyway, past the age of thirty, roommates look suspicious.” Mandy’s flash of anger gave her a sultry, sexy look.
“He doesn’t have a roommate.”
“Oh, Kenny Singer is just attached to his hip, is that it? I mean, if I’m going to be here in the center of the hurricane, you can’t be Little Miss Daisy in a field of cow flaps. You’d better tell me everything I need to know.” She put her glass on the coffee table and folded her arms across her chest. “What about Carter?”
Frazier shook her head. “He’s going to be the biggest surprise of all, I think. Hell, Mandy, I don’t know. Right now I don’t know shit from Shinola.”
Mandy leaned over and patted her hand. “The great thing about the truth is you’re not obliged to remember it. You can claim amnesia. Not that you would. You know what my mother says …”
“No, but I have a feeling I’m going to.”
“If you’re going to be hung for sheep you might as well be hung for a wolf.” Mandy finished off her Coca-Cola.
“Hung is the operative word, a word I don’t wish to hear unless it applies to the male of the species.”
“Amen, sister.” Mandy uncrossed her legs, swinging them over the sofa. “Know how to tell if a man’s well hung?”
“I’ve got my method. Let’s hear yours.” “If there’s three inches between the rope and his collar.”
“Oow.” Frazier squinted. “Mean.”
“A small diverting moment from the crisis at hand. All right, let’s catalogue the worst. You’ll be drummed out of the Junior League.”
“My heart is breaking.”
“You’ll have a devil of a time getting a golf foursome at the country club. Your women friends won’t want to be in the bathroom when you’re there. Uh, children. Yes, they’ll hide their children when you drive by.”
Frazier suddenly froze. “Mandy. It’s not funny. Some people
are
that ignorant. I’ll no longer be Mary Frazier Armstrong. I’ll be Mary Frazier Armstrong, comma, Lesbian. My identity will be skewered on a word derived from the name of an island off the coast of Greece, or is it closer to Turkey? I’m about to lose my individuality, my social position, parts of my family, if not all of it, and God knows what else.”
“That’s why I have the advantage over you.”
“What?”
“You can lie about who you are. I can’t. My face tells the tale.”
“Your face is uncommonly beautiful.”
“Thank you, but it bears the stamp of Africa. That’s hardly a plus in the land of the Blond Beast. At any rate, I can’t be anything or anyone other than who I am. It’s better that way.”
“I don’t know,” Frazier honestly stated. “Funny what runs through your mind. I keep hearing a phrase Carter used one time when we got campused by Mother for throwing a party when she and Dad were out of town. It happened to be prom night too. He said, ‘It doesn’t matter if the rock hits the jug or the jug hits the rock. The jug still gets it.’ I’m the jug.”
“I hope not, Frazier.”
“Me too.”
“How much damage did the party do to the house?”
“Frazier’s voice lifted into the mezzo range. “Oh, nothing. The house was untouched but Carter and I took photographs of various St. Luke’s sports heroes engaged in indelicate acts with cooperative ladies. The taking of them wasn’t the issue. Circulating them at school for profit landed us in hot water.” Frazier burst out laughing. “But it was worth it. The sight of the prom queen giving Ernie Watkins a blow job,
“No, but I can stand by you. And so will Auntie Ruru.”
Frazier turned her glass around in her hand a few revolutions. “Billy, maybe.”
“Billy?”
“Considering I told Billy he’s going to hell in a handbasket, in so many words, I don’t know which way he’ll cut. I think it’s me that will get cut, actually.”
“He’s gay, too, of course.”
“I don’t feel it’s my duty to blow the whistle on anyone else.”
“Bullshit. I’m not an idiot. Anyway, past the age of thirty, roommates look suspicious.” Mandy’s flash of anger gave her a sultry, sexy look.
“He doesn’t have a roommate.”
“Oh, Kenny Singer is just attached to his hip, is that it? I mean, if I’m going to be here in the center of the hurricane, you can’t be Little Miss Daisy in a field of cow flaps. You’d better tell me everything I need to know.” She put her glass on the coffee table and folded her arms across her chest. “What about Carter?”
Frazier shook her head. “He’s going to be the biggest surprise of all, I think. Hell, Mandy, I don’t know. Right now I don’t know shit from Shinola.”
Mandy leaned over and patted her hand. “The great thing about the truth is you’re not obliged to remember it. You can claim amnesia. Not that you would. You know what my mother says …”
“No, but I have a feeling I’m going to.”
“If you’re going to be hung for sheep you might as well be hung for a wolf.” Mandy finished off her Coca-Cola.
“Hung is the operative word, a word I don’t wish to hear unless it applies to the male of the species.”
“Amen, sister.” Mandy uncrossed her legs, swinging them over the sofa. “Know how to tell if a man’s well hung?”
“I’ve got my method. Let’s hear yours.” “If there’s three inches between the rope and his collar.”
“Oow.” Frazier squinted. “Mean.”
“A small diverting moment from the crisis at hand. All right, let’s catalogue the worst. You’ll be drummed out of the Junior League.”
“My heart is breaking.”
“You’ll have a devil of a time getting a golf foursome at the country club. Your women friends won’t want to be in the bathroom when you’re there. Uh, children. Yes, they’ll hide their children when you drive by.”
Frazier suddenly froze. “Mandy. It’s not funny. Some people
are
that ignorant. I’ll no longer be Mary Frazier Armstrong. I’ll be Mary Frazier Armstrong, comma, Lesbian. My identity will be skewered on a word derived from the name of an island off the coast of Greece, or is it closer to Turkey? I’m about to lose my individuality, my social position, parts of my family, if not all of it, and God knows what else.”
“That’s why I have the advantage over you.”
“What?”
“You can lie about who you are. I can’t. My face tells the tale.”
“Your face is uncommonly beautiful.”
“Thank you, but it bears the stamp of Africa. That’s hardly a plus in the land of the Blond Beast. At any rate, I can’t be anything or anyone other than who I am. It’s better that way.”
“I don’t know,” Frazier honestly stated. “Funny what runs through your mind. I keep hearing a phrase Carter used one time when we got campused by Mother for throwing a party when she and Dad were out of town. It happened to be prom night too. He said, ‘It doesn’t matter if the rock hits the jug or the jug hits the rock. The jug still gets it.’ I’m the jug.”
“I hope not, Frazier.”
“Me too.”
“How much damage did the party do to the house?”
“Frazier’s voice lifted into the mezzo range. “Oh, nothing. The house was untouched but Carter and I took photographs of various St. Luke’s sports heroes engaged in indelicate acts with cooperative ladies. The taking of them wasn’t the issue. Circulating them at school for profit landed us in hot water.” Frazier burst out laughing. “But it was worth it. The sight of the prom queen giving Ernie Watkins a blow job,
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