Vampire Money
by Delia Dirk
Copyright 2012 Delia Dirk
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, events, and locations are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to persons either living or dead is purely coincidental.
You gotta watch for people who get to the top in five months or less, that's how you catch 'em. Don't get distracted by the little things: some people just prefer their blinds closed. Believe me, I would know.
Anyone who's way too experienced for their age, that's a red flag. But they're sneaky, vampires are. They've been in the game longer than we have. They know how to hide themselves from being caught out easy. But it's the numbers, y'know, it's not like they're all math professors or anything. You can't hide from data mining. When it comes down to it, they leave a big ol' trail of stats. And you can't hide that.
Yeah, vampire hunter's the right phrase, I guess, y'know, technically . But there's no, like, stakes or blood or messy stuff. Like, don't get me wrong, they're still vampires, but they're not really into the whole murder thing any more. Nice thing about capitalism is that people have other things in their lives with almost as much power over them as their blood does.
What? Why did you think I was here? You've got a vampire racing up the ranks of your company. Christ, he's the guy you were talking about promoting to CFO. Yeah, you think he's helping you out now? Wait three months, tops. He'll vanish along with half the money invested in the place. Believe me, you want him out and you want him out as fast as possible.”
Gretchen Lemming, CEO of Seward, Morris, and Holmwood, inc. eyes me mangily. “And you said your name was?”
“Lola Luz,” I repeat, “Look, I've got all the statistics right here. I've been following you guys for months.”
“That's not your real name,” says Mrs. Lemming.
“No, I gotta keep a really low profile. I come in, I flush 'em out, I'm gone. One of these guys tracks me down, you think I'm ending up anywhere but dead?”
She's got bags under her eyes, I've probably caught her on her way to bed, but she's like a wall in the doorway. “I think the access you're asking for is completely unprecedented.”
“Just to the one guy! Look, you can keep all the tabs on me you want. I'll be totally transparent. Here, I'll even give you the stuff I've got on him so far. Let you look it over for a few days, y'know. Whatever you need. I'm just- I'm trying to save your ass, here.”
“I'm not trying to dismiss your claims, ma'am, but it's 11:45 at night.” Lemming runs brittle fingers through greying hair. “We've got our own men watching for internal attacks and they've said nothing to make me think the situation requires outside consultation.”
“Look, look, um, have you seen the movie Superman III? Or, like, Office Space?” I fumble with the file folder, nearly dropping the stupid thing before I find the one I need. She stares at me, of course she hasn't seen the damn movies. “It's like, when you make a transaction, usually there are tiny fractions of a penny that the machine has to round to the nearest cent. This guy's put something on your system that makes sure that doesn't happen, makes the machine forward that money into his bank account.”
She eyes the document humorlessly. “If, as you say,, he is going to cut and run in a few months with half our investments, why would he be wasting his time with these bits and
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