remind myself to blink.
I now made a big show of blinking and she laughed and shook her head.
We were drinking wine and smoking cigarettes. One of us was buzzed and possibly laying the groundwork for lung cancer. The other would never get drunk or die of lung cancer, or die of anything other than silver to the heart. That someone, of course, just happened to be me. After a few minutes of silence, I asked, “How old are you?”
“Twenty-seven.”
“You were...” I did the math “...twenty-two when you met him?”
“Something like that.”
“You were old enough to know better,” I said.
She shrugged, some of her old defensiveness coming through. That she was a functioning human after what she had been through, was amazing. That she could acknowledge someone else’s feelings was a surprise. After all, my dead husband’s mistress had had a helluva childhood. I almost felt sorry for her. Almost.
She exhaled a long, billowing plume of blue-gray smoke and turned to me. “How old were you when you married Danny?”
“Twenty-one.”
“Back when you were human?”
“I’m still human,” I said, and might have snapped at her a little. “I’m just, you know, weird.”
She laughed. “You are far more than weird.”
I shrugged and smoked and wondered again how, of all people, she and I had become friends. Through Danny, of course, a man we had both slept with, shared life experiences with, and might have even loved. Well, I knew I had loved him. I couldn’t vouch for her, although I could vouch for her if I scanned her thoughts. I didn’t scan her thoughts. Truth was, I never wanted to scan her thoughts again. Her thoughts were dark and twisted—full of memories that no one should ever have. Also, the last thing I wanted to see was an image of Danny in there, with her—and them going at it like feral rabbits.
“We never went at it like rabbits, Sam. Feral or otherwise.”
“How much did Danny tell you about me?” I asked. I often wondered just how much he had blabbed. And were there others out there who knew my secret?
Other strippers and prostitutes, no doubt.
“I’m sure there are, Sam,” she said, exhaling and looking away. Nancy never hid from what she did then and what she currently did now. Although I didn’t ask, I got the very strong feeling—and these days I always trusted my feelings—that she made her living as a very high-priced call girl.
“Something like that, Sam. I could tell you about it if you really want to know.”
“I don’t want to know. Not now, not ever.”
She shrugged and smoked and if my judgmental tone had affected her, she didn’t show it. These days, I tried not to judge her. I tried to welcome her as a friend.
“I do what I have to do, Sam. I’m glad you don’t judge me...too much. Anyway, he told me your whole story. How you were attacked. How you were turned. How you guys kept blood in the garage fridge. He told me more. Lots more. How you threatened him, scared him.”
Danny had blabbed my secret.
Months ago, when Nancy and I had first met, I could have denied it. I could have even changed her opinion of me. Controlling others was something that used to not sit well with me, but was now, admittedly, a feasible option. Of course, the demon bitch within me loved to control others. Loved it more than anything, if I had to guess. So, I rarely gave in to controlling others. And, yeah, that pissed her off to no end. Now, that I enjoyed.
“Are you taking his side?” I asked.
“Well, you did threaten him, Sam. He told me all about you throwing him down on the bed and choking—”
“He tried to have me killed! By other vampires. And he nearly got my sister killed, too.”
She shrugged. She usually shrugged. It was her defense mechanism. Her shrugs seemed to indicate: I’ve seen worse.
I shielded my thoughts. I had to. They had turned dark. Far darker than I was willing to share.
“You’re taking that rat bastard’s side, aren’t you? And if
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