Utterly Monkey

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Authors: Nick Laird
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bath. There was stuff in it. And now there’s not. You know anything about it?’
    ‘What sort of stuff? Drugs?’
    Either she was very sly or knew nothing. Budgie spun round and knocked sharply on Janice’s door.
    ‘Jan, open the door.’ Malandra waited, interested and leaning against the door jamb, with one leg arched neatly so the heel of her foot rested against her other ankle. She looked poised to execute some daring entrechat or pirouette.
    ‘What? What is it?’ came a voice from the bedroom, unmistakably issuing out from a head on its side with one cheek pressed into a pillow.
    ‘Open the fuck ing door Janice.’ Budgie was no longer floating. His thoughts were beginning to settle: he wasup to his neck here. His stomach contracted. His fists were itching. He punched the door once, and again. Hard.
    ‘Okay, okay. Hold on.’
    A ratchety noise and the door inched open.
    ‘What is it? Greer, this is my day off.’ Her tone suggested that her brother didn’t have any days on. Budgie smacked the door fully open with the palm of his left hand and Janice was shoved backwards. He strode into the room and grabbed a fistful of her hair.
    ‘Where the fuck is it you wee bitch?’
    Janice was only aware of Budgie’s breath, his stinking morning breath, on her face, and the sharp pain in her scalp. Her hair was lifting her up onto her tiptoes. Then she registered Malandra screaming as her terrified face appeared over Budgie’s naked shoulder, her arms pulling at Budgie’s neck. She noticed how hairy Budgie’s shoulders had got. And then she started to scream as well. Budgie spun round and in doing so pushed her onto the bed. He launched Malandra into the hall and shut the door and pushed the bolt across.
    ‘I think you’ve something to tell me.’
    ‘Greer, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who the fuck…I was asleep and you just force yourself in here and…you’ve no fucking right…’
    Budgie moved across the room and neatly slapped her across the face with the back of his hand. ‘Janice stop fucking about. I know you took it. Now where is it? You’ve no idea what you’ve done.’
    ‘What fucking money? I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
    ‘I never mentioned any money Jan.’
    Janice looked scattered, stunned. Budgie sat down beside her and took her hand in his. He started to bend her index finger back. Very calmly he said, ‘I’ll break your fucking finger Jan I swear it. I won’t even blink. Now tell me where the fucking money went.’
    ‘I didn’t know it was yours. I just found it. I’ve spent it.’
    ‘Don’t talk shit. You better fucking hope that’s shit. Did you give that money to your little boyfriend? Cause if you did, he’s a dead man. He’s fucking dead Jan. You’ve killed him.’
    ‘He didn’t know it was yours. I told him it was mine.’
    ‘Yeah, cause you’re going to have fifty grand in your pocket. You stupid stupid bitch.’
    When he said ‘fifty grand’ Janice’s eyes flickered. Budgie read it correctly.
    ‘You didn’t even know . You didn’t even know how much you’d given him. God, but you are an idiot Jan. You’re nothing but an idiot slut.’
    Casually, Budgie punched her hard on her left temple. Jan crumpled onto the duvet and began crying. He stood up.
    ‘I need that money. You better tell that little thief I’m going to come after him and rip his fucking head off. You better tell him to get that money back to me. Or he’s dead, and you’re dead, and his family’s dead, and everyone his family’s ever fucking met is dead. You hear me Jan? This is big boy rules. You stupid fucking stupid bitch.’
    Budgie was breathing hoarsely. He opened her door. His mother and Malandra were standing in the hall. Malandra was crying and sniffing while his mother juststood there watching, bovine and floral in her nightie, open-mouthed. Budgie considered shutting it for her but instead feinted a lunge at them. They flinched and Malandra screamed.

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