"But now it's mostly myself I hate."
"Don't," I said.
"And why the hell shouldn't I hate myself? Everyone else hates me." Her words sounded sharp and mean, but her eyes were filled with tears.
"Remember the hateful thing you said to me not too long ago when you thought I was perfect?"
A small smile tilted up her lips. "You'll have to remind me. I've said lots of hateful things to you."
"Well, this particular time you said something about the fact that power changes people and that it makes them mess up."
"Oh, yeah. It's coming back to me now. I said power changes people, but I was talking about the people around you."
"Well, you were right about them and me, and I understand that now. I also understand a lot of the stupid things you've done." I smiled and added, "Not all of the stupid things you've done, but a lot of them. Because now I've done my share of stupid things, and I kinda think I'm not done doing stupid things—as depressing as that is."
"Depressing, but true," she said. "Oh, and by the way, while we're talking about power changing people, you need to remember that when you're dealing with Stevie Rae."
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said. She's changed."
"You're gonna have to do better than that," I said, getting a sick feeling in my stomach.
"Don't pretend like you didn't notice anything weird about her," Aphrodite said.
"She's been through a lot," I justified.
"My point exactly. She's been through a lot, and it's changed her."
"You've never liked Stevie Rae, so I don't expect you to suddenly start getting along with her, but I'm not going to listen to you talk crap about her—especially after she just offered to let you come with her so that you don't have to stay here and pretend to be something you're not." I was working myself up into getting really pissed, and I couldn't tell if that was because what Aphrodite was saying was hateful and wrong, or because what she was saying was a scary truth I didn't want to face.
"Did you ever think that maybe she wanted me to go with her because Stevie Rae doesn't want me to spend any time with you?"
"That's stupid. Why would she care? She's my best friend, not my boyfriend."
"Because she knows I've seen through her little act and that I'll tell you the real deal about her. The truth is that she's not what she used to be. I don't know exactly what she is now, and I don't think she knows either, but she's definitely not good ol' white-bread Stevie Rae anymore."
"I know she's not exactly like she used to be!" I snapped. "How could she be? She died, Aphrodite! In my arms. Remember? And I'm a good enough friend that I'm not going to turn my back on her just because going through something life-changing actually changed her."
Aphrodite stood there and stared at me a long time without saying anything—so long that my stomach started to hurt again. Finally she lifted one shoulder. "Fine. Believe what you want to believe. I hope you're right."
"I'm right, and I don't want to talk about it again," I said, feeling weirdly shaky.
"Fine," she repeated. "I'm done talking about it."
"Good. So finish drawing in your Mark and let's go to the meeting."
"Together?"
"Yep."
"You're not caring that people know we don't hate each other?" she said.
"Well, I look at it like this: People, especially my friends, will be thinking a whole lot of not-so-nice stuff about the possibility that you and I have suddenly become friends."
Aphrodite's eyes widened. "Which will keep their wee little brains from thinking about Stevie Rae."
"My friends do not have wee brains."
"Whatever."
"But, yes, Damien and the Twins will be busy thinking pissed-off thoughts about you, which will definitely keep their minds busy if Neferet happens to be listening in," I said.
"Sounds like the beginnings of a plan," she said.
"Sadly, it's all I have of a plan."
"Well, at least you're consistent about not knowing what the hell you're doing."
"So good of you to look on the bright side of
"Don't," I said.
"And why the hell shouldn't I hate myself? Everyone else hates me." Her words sounded sharp and mean, but her eyes were filled with tears.
"Remember the hateful thing you said to me not too long ago when you thought I was perfect?"
A small smile tilted up her lips. "You'll have to remind me. I've said lots of hateful things to you."
"Well, this particular time you said something about the fact that power changes people and that it makes them mess up."
"Oh, yeah. It's coming back to me now. I said power changes people, but I was talking about the people around you."
"Well, you were right about them and me, and I understand that now. I also understand a lot of the stupid things you've done." I smiled and added, "Not all of the stupid things you've done, but a lot of them. Because now I've done my share of stupid things, and I kinda think I'm not done doing stupid things—as depressing as that is."
"Depressing, but true," she said. "Oh, and by the way, while we're talking about power changing people, you need to remember that when you're dealing with Stevie Rae."
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said. She's changed."
"You're gonna have to do better than that," I said, getting a sick feeling in my stomach.
"Don't pretend like you didn't notice anything weird about her," Aphrodite said.
"She's been through a lot," I justified.
"My point exactly. She's been through a lot, and it's changed her."
"You've never liked Stevie Rae, so I don't expect you to suddenly start getting along with her, but I'm not going to listen to you talk crap about her—especially after she just offered to let you come with her so that you don't have to stay here and pretend to be something you're not." I was working myself up into getting really pissed, and I couldn't tell if that was because what Aphrodite was saying was hateful and wrong, or because what she was saying was a scary truth I didn't want to face.
"Did you ever think that maybe she wanted me to go with her because Stevie Rae doesn't want me to spend any time with you?"
"That's stupid. Why would she care? She's my best friend, not my boyfriend."
"Because she knows I've seen through her little act and that I'll tell you the real deal about her. The truth is that she's not what she used to be. I don't know exactly what she is now, and I don't think she knows either, but she's definitely not good ol' white-bread Stevie Rae anymore."
"I know she's not exactly like she used to be!" I snapped. "How could she be? She died, Aphrodite! In my arms. Remember? And I'm a good enough friend that I'm not going to turn my back on her just because going through something life-changing actually changed her."
Aphrodite stood there and stared at me a long time without saying anything—so long that my stomach started to hurt again. Finally she lifted one shoulder. "Fine. Believe what you want to believe. I hope you're right."
"I'm right, and I don't want to talk about it again," I said, feeling weirdly shaky.
"Fine," she repeated. "I'm done talking about it."
"Good. So finish drawing in your Mark and let's go to the meeting."
"Together?"
"Yep."
"You're not caring that people know we don't hate each other?" she said.
"Well, I look at it like this: People, especially my friends, will be thinking a whole lot of not-so-nice stuff about the possibility that you and I have suddenly become friends."
Aphrodite's eyes widened. "Which will keep their wee little brains from thinking about Stevie Rae."
"My friends do not have wee brains."
"Whatever."
"But, yes, Damien and the Twins will be busy thinking pissed-off thoughts about you, which will definitely keep their minds busy if Neferet happens to be listening in," I said.
"Sounds like the beginnings of a plan," she said.
"Sadly, it's all I have of a plan."
"Well, at least you're consistent about not knowing what the hell you're doing."
"So good of you to look on the bright side of
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