Arnold twirled a Mont Blanc in his chubby fingers, dropping it occasionally to the leather surface of his desk. John flinched each time it landed heavily on its nib. It's not like he couldn't afford to replace it a million times over, but John believed people should treat a nice pen with respect. The pen struck the leather once more, and he reached out to grab it before Arnold could react. The lawyer frowned, his heavy jowls wobbling.
'John, we really need to talk about your estate one of these days.' He said, abruptly. 'You should never forget that you could get hit by a bus on the way out of my office.'
John grimaced. 'Thanks, Arn. It's good to know I can always visit my old friend when I need a boost. You wanna tell me again how Santa Claus was just a fat guy hired by Macy's? That was a classic.'
'John, I'm serious. Look, I know you're only thirty and you'll probably outlast my fat, diabetic ass by about fifty years, but you know what kind of lifestyle you lead. The BASE jumping, for starters. And that wing suit you bought last month. You want me to show you a YouTube video of a guy face planting into the side of a mountain in one of those things? I had my assistant put together a collection. Forget a bus. You're gonna get killed by Mount Everest in the face.'
John laughed. 'I wish you wouldn't worry about me so much, Arn. You know I'm always careful. By the way, have I ever mentioned how much you look like Oliver Platt when you're angry?'
'Stop busting my balls, John. It's not about being careful. You think these guys who jump out of planes aren't careful? Jesus, they check their equipment in their sleep, they're so careful, but one unexpected gust of wind or a bug in the eye will send them hurling into a wall. It's not a lack of care that's the problem, it's statistics. Eventually you'll make a mistake, and there are no do overs up there.'
John pouted and stared at the pen in his hand. He didn't like it when Arn was no fun.
'I know you don't like to hear this, and I know I sound like your mother, rest her soul, but to be honest I don't care. This isn't just me wanting to keep my oldest friend alive. I'm also trying to protect my job. You know you're my biggest client. Hell, you paid for this whole office. Thanks again, by the way. But if you die tomorrow you'll leave no heir, no anything. Hell, you don't even have a damned will! Your brother would stand to inherit four billion dollars and change, and you know he'd just buy himself a mountain of blow before the ink on the check was dry. He'd be dead within a week.'
John sighed, suddenly serious. While he didn't really care about what happened to his fortune after he was gone, he knew that his brother would die under its weight. It was all John could do to keep him on the straight and narrow with the modest stipend he allowed him each month.
'OK, I see your point. Well, you're the sharp legal mind, Arn. What do you want me to do about it?'
His friend smiled, happy for the rare win over his famously stubborn friend. 'Well, the first thing you need to do is place some money in trust for Ryan. He needs to be taken care of should anything happen to you, but we both know he'd go off the deep end if he ever got his hands on serious cash. That's our most pressing issue, but I can take care of that in an hour. Just need your signature.
'Now, what I'd usually suggest to someone with your kind of wealth is that you set up a second charitable trust to distribute your estate to any organization you care to help. With you, though, I'm not sure that's such a great idea. You just know Ryan will contest it, and I'm sure those assholes who've popped up over the years will be back begging for their share. Especially that one guy from, uh...?'
'Wichita,' John replied. Wichita. That case had dragged on for three months, and it was only when John brought out the check book that the guy had finally crawled away. It
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