she starts screaming all the time, or says nothing at all to anyone until even doctors can't help her? She does not deserve to be closed off into her own mind because of me, doctor."
"And how is it, girl, that, still ignorant of mostly everything, you determine who deserves what and for what reason?"
"Because this is what the ignorant do always, Doctor," someone else replied behind Meliora's back.
Mel turned to see another old man, not as old as Great-Granddad Nicolas but still old.
"Doctor Eryn, you are needed in your office after you are done with this new recruit," he said. "And yes, girl, I am old." He turned to look at Mel. "You don't have to stare. And no, you don't have to make the same choice in order to be a doctor. Hasn't our Head Doctor here, whose assistant I am, told you already? You can look as young and beautiful as anyone else."
"And die as soon as they do," Mel whispered.
"That, too. I see you're a bit less ignorant than I thought. Now, don't frighten her more than she needs to be frightened, Doctor Eryn, all right? Why not tell her the answer to the question that, ignorant as she is, she is not asking?"
"You may go at any point, Meliora," Eryn said. "Jerome is right, we should tell you this. We are not going to keep you against your will. As to how we are to punish you if you do stay and deserve punishment—that, we won't answer. You decide if it is worth earning a new punishment in order to know. But you may go. During any time you're not being punished, you may leave."
"And never come back," Doctor Jerome said behind Mel's back. Mel turned to look at him again, all the time feeling vulnerable that, while she was watching one of the doctors, the other one was out of sight.
Vulnerable. Whoever had felt vulnerable in this world in the last fifty or so years?
Anyone training to be a doctor, perhaps. She remembered Adelaide's and Ivan's faces in the train.
"If you leave," Doctor Jerome said, "that's it. You have lost your chance."
"Doctor Eryn," Mel said, "may I ask something?"
"You don't like that meek voice, do you, girl? You may ask. You're allowed to ask questions here."
"If I leave, what will my punishment for this be?"
The woman looked into Mel's eyes and held them for a few moments. She was shorter than Mel and wrinkled. Her cheeks were starting to droop and no make-up could hide it. Her white hands were marred by big, protruding blue veins. Her eyes, though, looked as hard and strong as a bare stone wall.
It is just the body that breaks, Mel thought, there is something inside that endures. It must be an important thing. This is why they choose to live for so long .
"Your punishment for leaving? Oh, we have punished you already, and I am not talking about dark rooms. We have given you, and will give you, knowledge that others lack but don't respect. If you must live among those others, girl, such knowledge is the worst punishment you can get."
Computers
You were allowed to ask questions. That didn't mean you would receive answers.
Meliora asked Eryn about the City of Life on her second day. All she got was silence and a slight widening of Eryn's eyes, a twitch in her cheek. Then, the doctor continued as if she'd heard nothing. Ivan and Adi listened on.
"Doctor Eryn," Meliora said in a louder voice. "Does such a place exist? How can one get there?"
A slap, stronger than before.
"You were told you could ask questions! You weren't told that you could piss people off, you insufferable little monster—no one is deaf here! Once is enough!"
"Then answer, you insufferable old hag!"
Meekness didn't seem to be something that endured until the next day. Evil, on the other hand, seemed just the opposite. Eryn closed her off in the dark room, but this time Mel was ready. She'd sent a message to Mom even as she was shouting. Going away, Mom, it said. Won't be able to write, but I'll be back. Go to the wonderful experiences.
Time passed in darkness. Long—she didn't know how long, but long
"And how is it, girl, that, still ignorant of mostly everything, you determine who deserves what and for what reason?"
"Because this is what the ignorant do always, Doctor," someone else replied behind Meliora's back.
Mel turned to see another old man, not as old as Great-Granddad Nicolas but still old.
"Doctor Eryn, you are needed in your office after you are done with this new recruit," he said. "And yes, girl, I am old." He turned to look at Mel. "You don't have to stare. And no, you don't have to make the same choice in order to be a doctor. Hasn't our Head Doctor here, whose assistant I am, told you already? You can look as young and beautiful as anyone else."
"And die as soon as they do," Mel whispered.
"That, too. I see you're a bit less ignorant than I thought. Now, don't frighten her more than she needs to be frightened, Doctor Eryn, all right? Why not tell her the answer to the question that, ignorant as she is, she is not asking?"
"You may go at any point, Meliora," Eryn said. "Jerome is right, we should tell you this. We are not going to keep you against your will. As to how we are to punish you if you do stay and deserve punishment—that, we won't answer. You decide if it is worth earning a new punishment in order to know. But you may go. During any time you're not being punished, you may leave."
"And never come back," Doctor Jerome said behind Mel's back. Mel turned to look at him again, all the time feeling vulnerable that, while she was watching one of the doctors, the other one was out of sight.
Vulnerable. Whoever had felt vulnerable in this world in the last fifty or so years?
Anyone training to be a doctor, perhaps. She remembered Adelaide's and Ivan's faces in the train.
"If you leave," Doctor Jerome said, "that's it. You have lost your chance."
"Doctor Eryn," Mel said, "may I ask something?"
"You don't like that meek voice, do you, girl? You may ask. You're allowed to ask questions here."
"If I leave, what will my punishment for this be?"
The woman looked into Mel's eyes and held them for a few moments. She was shorter than Mel and wrinkled. Her cheeks were starting to droop and no make-up could hide it. Her white hands were marred by big, protruding blue veins. Her eyes, though, looked as hard and strong as a bare stone wall.
It is just the body that breaks, Mel thought, there is something inside that endures. It must be an important thing. This is why they choose to live for so long .
"Your punishment for leaving? Oh, we have punished you already, and I am not talking about dark rooms. We have given you, and will give you, knowledge that others lack but don't respect. If you must live among those others, girl, such knowledge is the worst punishment you can get."
Computers
You were allowed to ask questions. That didn't mean you would receive answers.
Meliora asked Eryn about the City of Life on her second day. All she got was silence and a slight widening of Eryn's eyes, a twitch in her cheek. Then, the doctor continued as if she'd heard nothing. Ivan and Adi listened on.
"Doctor Eryn," Meliora said in a louder voice. "Does such a place exist? How can one get there?"
A slap, stronger than before.
"You were told you could ask questions! You weren't told that you could piss people off, you insufferable little monster—no one is deaf here! Once is enough!"
"Then answer, you insufferable old hag!"
Meekness didn't seem to be something that endured until the next day. Evil, on the other hand, seemed just the opposite. Eryn closed her off in the dark room, but this time Mel was ready. She'd sent a message to Mom even as she was shouting. Going away, Mom, it said. Won't be able to write, but I'll be back. Go to the wonderful experiences.
Time passed in darkness. Long—she didn't know how long, but long
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