Read Online Undermajordomo Minor by Patrick deWitt - Free Book Online Page A

achieved thus.” He lifted his good arm high above his head.
    â€œHe will snatch it up from my hand, do you mean?” Lucy asked.
    â€œJust so, yes. It is an unorthodox method, I know, but we are on our own, here, and we must make do.” Mr. Olderglough scratched his chin. “You’re looking at me as though you have a question.”
    â€œYes,” said Lucy. “I’m wondering how it came to be that the mail was collected in this way.”
    â€œAh, I bribed the engineer,” said Mr. Olderglough. “Actually, I continue to bribe the engineer. Possibly that sounds untoward, but it’s only a pittance, and if the truth should be known, I get a thrill from it. Touch of criminality, thickens the blood—you didn’t hear it from me, boy. Now you’re looking at me with another question.”
    Lucy nodded. “The engineer, sir. Will he have letters for me as well?”
    â€œNo, he won’t. The Baron’s is a one-sided correspondence.”
    Lucy pondered the definition of the word. “I was unaware there was such a thing,” he admitted.
    Mr. Olderglough’s face puckered, as one stung by a discourtesy. “Is this a comical observation?” he asked.
    â€œIt was not meant to be, sir, no.”
    â€œI certainly hope not. Because I don’t subscribe to amusements, Lucy. Laughter is the basest sound a body can make, in my opinion. Do you often laugh, can I ask?”
    â€œRarely.”
    â€œHow rarely?”
    â€œVery rarely, sir. Extremely rarely, in fact.”
    â€œGood,” Mr. Olderglough said. “Good. Now. These letters are of the most pre-eminent importance to the Baron, and must be handled with the greatest respect and discretion. No peeking, is what I’m saying here.”
    â€œI would never, sir.”
    â€œYou will want to.”
    â€œBe that as it may.”
    â€œAnd, if there ever comes a day where the engineer does have a letter for you, this should be treated with utmost seriousness. I suspect this will never happen. Actually I can say with confidence that it won’t. Still and all, you have been instructed, have you not?”
    â€œI have been instructed, sir.”
    Mr. Olderglough stole a glance at the contents of Lucy’s valise. “Where is your day suit, boy?”
    â€œI haven’t one, sir.”
    â€œWhat—do you mean?”
    â€œI mean that I am not in possession of a day suit, sir.”
    â€œWell, what do you have in the way of evening attire, then?”
    â€œThis is my attire in its entirety,” said Lucy, pointing to his worn out suit of clothes.
    Mr. Olderglough regarded the ensemble with unambiguous indignity. “Did it not occur to you,” he said, staring glumly at Lucy’s sheepskin cap, “that you would be expected to dress in a manner befitting your appointment?”
    Lucy considered the question. “I will admit to being aware of a style of dress common among those working in places such as this,” he conceded. “But I suppose I assumed that my employer might furnish me with said attire, were it required of me to wear it.”
    â€œI see. And who was it that gave you this idea, I’d like to know?”
    â€œNo one, sir. It came to me independently.”
    â€œIt’s a bold notion.”
    â€œI was not after boldness.”
    â€œYou achieved it.”
    â€œI’m sorry if I’ve offended you.”
    â€œYou have annoyed me mildly. It is abating as we speak.” Mr. Olderglough looked out the window, and back. “Has anyone ever told you you possess a likability?”
    â€œNot that I can recall, sir, no.”
    â€œYou possess a likability.”
    â€œI’m happy to hear as much.”
    â€œYes. Well. Perhaps something can be done about the situation at a later date, but until that point in time, we will get by with what’s available to us.”
    â€œJust as you say, sir.”
    Mr.