Read Online Undercover by Christina Wolfer - Free Book Online Page B

fanatical laugh escaped, lost in the emptiness. A crazy thought. Stupid. But she pulled to the curb and unstrapped the gun from under her seat. Her hands shook as she checked the clip and safety. She went so far as to get out of the car and stood staring at the house. Fear locked her knees in place and kept her feet from moving.
    Three men wandered out onto the front porch. They were watching her.
    "Hey you, whatcho hanging out around here fo’?" the skinny one yelled after a few minutes. When they started down the steps, Erica bolted, jumping into her car and squealing tires as she pulled away.
    Coward. You fucking coward. She pounded her fists on the steering wheel.
    She became a cop, begged for this assignment to prove to herself, and anyone else who cared to notice that she wasn't the coward she had once been. She was strong now. She could stand up against evil and would protect those who couldn't protect themselves. A sob ripped through her chest. The only thing she'd established was that her yellow spots were still yellow.
    As darkness fell over the city, Erica found herself at the community park, sitting on the bench at the basketball courts. A group of teenage boys played a full court game of two-on-two. She stared but didn't really see them and was vaguely aware when they packed up their belongings and left.
    The hooligan light buzzed to life.
    “Erica.”
    She jumped at the soft-spoken sound of her name and glanced up into Derrick's concerned face.
    “I’ve been trying to call you all day,” he continued to talk with a quiet calm. “Joey, too. Are you all right?” He took a few tentative steps toward her.
    “I failed her.” Her voice scrapped against her dry throat.
    “This isn’t your fault, Erica.”
    She turned her face away as the tears gathered. She felt the shift of the bench as he sat down beside her. He didn’t touch her and she was glad for that, knowing the fragile cracks of her exterior would widen and break into a million pieces if he did.
    “Joey told me what you did, standing up for LeAnn. He’s ashamed that he tried to stop you. What you did was very brave.”
    “Brave would have been staying by her side.” She pushed to her feet, unable to sit any longer. “But I left her out there, defenseless, just like my sister.” The last four words carried on a hoarse whisper.
    “What does this have to do with your sister?” He touched her arms, gently urging her to turn and face him. “Erica, what does this have to do with your sister?”
    “They killed her.”
    “Who killed her? The Hell Boys?”
    “Boys like them. Gang members. She and I were walking home from school, the same route we always took, when gunfire exploded around us. I couldn’t tell where the shots came from. I panicked and ran to the nearest building a few feet away.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “The door wouldn’t open. I turned around for somewhere else to hide and realized Maria wasn’t with me. She was standing out in the open where I’d left her. Frozen, like a statue. I think I screamed for her, but I was too late. She went down. One minute a statue and the next crumpled on the ground.”
    Derrick gave her arms a gentle squeeze to bring her back from the memory. “I’m so sorry, Erica. I hate that you had to go through that, but it wasn’t your fault. You could have just as easily been shot.”
    “You sound like my family. They assured me over and over that they didn’t blame me, but it changed things.”
    “A tragedy like that can’t not change things.”
    “On some level, I know that. I’ve battled with myself over this for years. Whether I’m to blame or not doesn’t change the fact that I left her out in the open, too scared to move and I can’t help but wonder what if… what if I would have grabbed her hand and made her move? I don’t know if that will ever go away.”
    "God, Erica, you can't keep doing that to yourself. You'll never answer the ‘what if’. Would you have blamed