force myself to face
him. "Like you were on the edge of a cliff or something," he adds
with a shrug. "I don’t know. I just thought maybe you could be a
part of us.”
I can’t make sense of what he’s
talking about. What “us” is he referring to? But what he
says hits me hard. I did feel miserable that day. And I’ve been
trying to hold on to life for a while now. His perspicacity stuns
me into silence. No one has ever bothered to know how I felt. How
disconcerting that Chi—a stranger—saw right through my façade! His
words disturb me somehow, but they don’t explain his interest in
me. I scowl at him.
“Okay. Okay,” he gives in, holding
his palms up before leaning toward me as if he meant to share some
secrets. “I also find you really cute and I wanted to meet you.
Sound good enough?”
I'm so shocked I stumble backward.
No boy has ever been that blunt with me before. It's quite rude,
and I want to remind him that I’m promised to William, but I
already know he doesn’t care. And deep inside, I know that I don’t
really care either. No matter how poorly-mannered Chi is being,
it's flattering in some way. No one has ever expressed any interest
in me before.
“What makes you think I’m
interested in you?” I reply. I don’t want him to think I’m some
foolish girl he can just play with, tossing her future away, before
running out of her life. I’ve heard such stories before, and they
were quite dreadful—girls who threw it all out the window for some
guys who were just playing with them.
“Well, you’re here, aren’t you?”
he says, his lips rising up on one side. “So I’m assuming you feel
some sort of interest in me. Either that, or you have some kind of
death wish. Considering the situation you’re in, I wouldn’t be
surprised if you did. But I just wanted to talk to you, and I kinda
hoped you’d be curious about me too, that's all. Why? Is that a
crime?”
His smile spreads across his face
as if this were but a joke to him. This guy is so arrogant. Really, what does he know about the situation I’m in or anything
about my life? And yes, it is a felony for us to meet. How
can he be so nonchalant about it?
“I’ll have you know my situation
is not that bad, thank you very much. This conversation is getting
quite tiresome, and I might just leave now.” I say it without
moving a muscle because I truly don’t want to go. I actually hope
he won’t take my word for it and dare me to do it. No matter what
he says, I know he’s right and I can’t contradict him without
feeling inside my heart that I would be lying.
“Oh please! Like you want to marry
that jerk William!” He laughs, a small, sarcastic laughter that
feels like sand against my skin.
“Oh, because I guess you would be
a better match!” I retort, increasingly upset.
Chi's face turns sorrowful when I
say it, as if my words slapped him. But I still want to defend
William somehow. Though I don’t like William much, I can’t help
myself. Chi's behavior is making me mad. I take a step back and
walk away for good, but Chi runs after me and grabs my
arm.
"Please, don't go." His tone is
apologetic now. "You don't have to defend him, you know. Any girl
would deserve better than to end up with a guy like him, trust me.
I don’t have anything to offer you. I just wanna talk to you. You
can leave if you want, but I’m not used to begging and I won’t ask
you twice. You know, not all guys believe in this stupid society of
ours. Not all of us believe you're an object. Now, if you want to
leave, just go. I'm not gonna force you to stay."
I stop in my tracks and look back
at him. There's kindness in his eyes now, and genuine sweetness.
I've never seen such benevolence in William's gaze. Chi's sympathy
is warm and comforting—something I want to wrap myself into. But I
still know better than to think a man would consider me an
equal.
“What are you saying? That you
believe women are on the same scale as men? That women
him. "Like you were on the edge of a cliff or something," he adds
with a shrug. "I don’t know. I just thought maybe you could be a
part of us.”
I can’t make sense of what he’s
talking about. What “us” is he referring to? But what he
says hits me hard. I did feel miserable that day. And I’ve been
trying to hold on to life for a while now. His perspicacity stuns
me into silence. No one has ever bothered to know how I felt. How
disconcerting that Chi—a stranger—saw right through my façade! His
words disturb me somehow, but they don’t explain his interest in
me. I scowl at him.
“Okay. Okay,” he gives in, holding
his palms up before leaning toward me as if he meant to share some
secrets. “I also find you really cute and I wanted to meet you.
Sound good enough?”
I'm so shocked I stumble backward.
No boy has ever been that blunt with me before. It's quite rude,
and I want to remind him that I’m promised to William, but I
already know he doesn’t care. And deep inside, I know that I don’t
really care either. No matter how poorly-mannered Chi is being,
it's flattering in some way. No one has ever expressed any interest
in me before.
“What makes you think I’m
interested in you?” I reply. I don’t want him to think I’m some
foolish girl he can just play with, tossing her future away, before
running out of her life. I’ve heard such stories before, and they
were quite dreadful—girls who threw it all out the window for some
guys who were just playing with them.
“Well, you’re here, aren’t you?”
he says, his lips rising up on one side. “So I’m assuming you feel
some sort of interest in me. Either that, or you have some kind of
death wish. Considering the situation you’re in, I wouldn’t be
surprised if you did. But I just wanted to talk to you, and I kinda
hoped you’d be curious about me too, that's all. Why? Is that a
crime?”
His smile spreads across his face
as if this were but a joke to him. This guy is so arrogant. Really, what does he know about the situation I’m in or anything
about my life? And yes, it is a felony for us to meet. How
can he be so nonchalant about it?
“I’ll have you know my situation
is not that bad, thank you very much. This conversation is getting
quite tiresome, and I might just leave now.” I say it without
moving a muscle because I truly don’t want to go. I actually hope
he won’t take my word for it and dare me to do it. No matter what
he says, I know he’s right and I can’t contradict him without
feeling inside my heart that I would be lying.
“Oh please! Like you want to marry
that jerk William!” He laughs, a small, sarcastic laughter that
feels like sand against my skin.
“Oh, because I guess you would be
a better match!” I retort, increasingly upset.
Chi's face turns sorrowful when I
say it, as if my words slapped him. But I still want to defend
William somehow. Though I don’t like William much, I can’t help
myself. Chi's behavior is making me mad. I take a step back and
walk away for good, but Chi runs after me and grabs my
arm.
"Please, don't go." His tone is
apologetic now. "You don't have to defend him, you know. Any girl
would deserve better than to end up with a guy like him, trust me.
I don’t have anything to offer you. I just wanna talk to you. You
can leave if you want, but I’m not used to begging and I won’t ask
you twice. You know, not all guys believe in this stupid society of
ours. Not all of us believe you're an object. Now, if you want to
leave, just go. I'm not gonna force you to stay."
I stop in my tracks and look back
at him. There's kindness in his eyes now, and genuine sweetness.
I've never seen such benevolence in William's gaze. Chi's sympathy
is warm and comforting—something I want to wrap myself into. But I
still know better than to think a man would consider me an
equal.
“What are you saying? That you
believe women are on the same scale as men? That women
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