Read Online Uncle John’s Unstoppable Bathroom Reader by Bathroom Readers’ Institute - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute
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Fittingly, Doyle made his detective an amateur violinist.
Workplace Hazard: Beavers sometimes get crushed by the trees they gnaw down.
INSPECTOR MORSE (1975)
Morse’s creator, Colin Dexter, was once a Morse Code operator in the English army—but that’s not where he got the name for his character. Sir Jeremy Morse, the chairman of Lloyd’s Bank, was a champion crossword-solver in England. Dexter, once a national crossword champion himself, named his melancholy inspector after Sir Jeremy.
HERCULE POIROT (1920)
Some say the meticulous Belgian detective was named after a vegetable— poireau means “leek” in French. But it’s more likely that Poirot’s creator, Agatha Christie, took the name from the stories of another female author of the time, Marie Belloc Lowndes. Her character: a French detective named Hercules Popeau.
TRAVIS MCGEE (1964)
John D. MacDonald began working on his Florida boat-bum character in 1962, calling him Dallas McGee. The next year, President John Kennedy was shot—in Dallas—and MacDonald changed the name to Travis.
KINSEY MILLHONE (1982)
Sue Grafton spent 15 years as a Hollywood scriptwriter before the birth of her first Kinsey Millhone novel, A Is for Alibi . Where’d she get the name? From the birth announcements page of her local newspaper.
JOHN SHAFT (1970)
Ernest Tidyman was trying to sell the idea of a bad-ass black detective to his publisher, but was stymied when the publisher asked the character’s name—he didn’t have one ready. Tidyman absent-mindedly looked out the window and saw a sign that said “Fire shaft.” He looked back at the publisher and said, “Shaft. John Shaft.”
* * *
“Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest citizens. It’s the other 2% that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.”
— Lily Tomlin
Q: How many time zones are there in North America? A: 8.
CELEBRITY LAWSUITS
It seems that people will sue each other over practically anything. Here are a few real-life examples of unusual legal battles involving celebrities .
P LAINTIFF: President Theodore Roosevelt
DEFENDANT: Newspaper publisher George Newett
LAWSUIT: In 1912 Newett wrote an editorial in his Ishpeming, Michigan, paper, The Iron Ore . “Roosevelt lies, and curses in a most disgusting way,” he wrote. “He gets drunk too, and that not infrequently, and all of his intimates know about it.” Roosevelt happened to be campaigning for another presidential term at the time and jumped at the opportunity to be the center of a big news story. He sued Newett for libel, insisting that he hardly drank alcohol at all. Roosevelt arrived in the small town with a phalanx of security, some famous friends to act as character witnesses, and a horde of reporters and photographers. Huge crowds showed up for the trial. The National Enquirer even gave the start of arguments a banner headline: DRUNKEN ROOSEVELT TRIAL BEGINS ! On the stand, Roosevelt mesmerized the judge, the jury, and the crowd with long stories about his many adventures around the world.
VERDICT: Newett must have realized he was outgunned. After five days, he gave up, reading a statement to the court admitting that he had wronged the former president. Roosevelt, having proved his point, asked the judge that he be awarded the lowest legal sum—6¢. The judge agreed. Asked by a reporter what he would do with his winnings, he replied, “That’s about the price of a good paper.” Cost of The Iron Ore : 3¢.
PLAINTIFF: Judy Z. Knight, aka JZ Knight
DEFENDANT: Julie Ravel
LAWSUIT: Knight claimed she could go into a trance and “channel” the spirit of a 35,000-year-old warrior from the lost continent of Atlantis named Ramtha. She charged fees of up to $1,500 per séance. By the 1980s she had attracted thousands of followers (including actresses Shirley MacLaine and Linda Evans), had published books and videotapes, and had become very wealthy.
Workplace Hazard: Beavers sometimes get crushed by the trees they gnaw down.
INSPECTOR MORSE (1975)
Morse’s creator, Colin Dexter, was once a Morse Code operator in the English army—but that’s not where he got the name for his character. Sir Jeremy Morse, the chairman of Lloyd’s Bank, was a champion crossword-solver in England. Dexter, once a national crossword champion himself, named his melancholy inspector after Sir Jeremy.
HERCULE POIROT (1920)
Some say the meticulous Belgian detective was named after a vegetable— poireau means “leek” in French. But it’s more likely that Poirot’s creator, Agatha Christie, took the name from the stories of another female author of the time, Marie Belloc Lowndes. Her character: a French detective named Hercules Popeau.
TRAVIS MCGEE (1964)
John D. MacDonald began working on his Florida boat-bum character in 1962, calling him Dallas McGee. The next year, President John Kennedy was shot—in Dallas—and MacDonald changed the name to Travis.
KINSEY MILLHONE (1982)
Sue Grafton spent 15 years as a Hollywood scriptwriter before the birth of her first Kinsey Millhone novel, A Is for Alibi . Where’d she get the name? From the birth announcements page of her local newspaper.
JOHN SHAFT (1970)
Ernest Tidyman was trying to sell the idea of a bad-ass black detective to his publisher, but was stymied when the publisher asked the character’s name—he didn’t have one ready. Tidyman absent-mindedly looked out the window and saw a sign that said “Fire shaft.” He looked back at the publisher and said, “Shaft. John Shaft.”
* * *
“Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest citizens. It’s the other 2% that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.”
— Lily Tomlin
Q: How many time zones are there in North America? A: 8.
CELEBRITY LAWSUITS
It seems that people will sue each other over practically anything. Here are a few real-life examples of unusual legal battles involving celebrities .
P LAINTIFF: President Theodore Roosevelt
DEFENDANT: Newspaper publisher George Newett
LAWSUIT: In 1912 Newett wrote an editorial in his Ishpeming, Michigan, paper, The Iron Ore . “Roosevelt lies, and curses in a most disgusting way,” he wrote. “He gets drunk too, and that not infrequently, and all of his intimates know about it.” Roosevelt happened to be campaigning for another presidential term at the time and jumped at the opportunity to be the center of a big news story. He sued Newett for libel, insisting that he hardly drank alcohol at all. Roosevelt arrived in the small town with a phalanx of security, some famous friends to act as character witnesses, and a horde of reporters and photographers. Huge crowds showed up for the trial. The National Enquirer even gave the start of arguments a banner headline: DRUNKEN ROOSEVELT TRIAL BEGINS ! On the stand, Roosevelt mesmerized the judge, the jury, and the crowd with long stories about his many adventures around the world.
VERDICT: Newett must have realized he was outgunned. After five days, he gave up, reading a statement to the court admitting that he had wronged the former president. Roosevelt, having proved his point, asked the judge that he be awarded the lowest legal sum—6¢. The judge agreed. Asked by a reporter what he would do with his winnings, he replied, “That’s about the price of a good paper.” Cost of The Iron Ore : 3¢.
PLAINTIFF: Judy Z. Knight, aka JZ Knight
DEFENDANT: Julie Ravel
LAWSUIT: Knight claimed she could go into a trance and “channel” the spirit of a 35,000-year-old warrior from the lost continent of Atlantis named Ramtha. She charged fees of up to $1,500 per séance. By the 1980s she had attracted thousands of followers (including actresses Shirley MacLaine and Linda Evans), had published books and videotapes, and had become very wealthy.
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