Read Online Uncle John’s Unsinkable Bathroom Reader by Bathroom Readers’ Institute - Free Book Online
Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute
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aside a large sum to purchase a supply of baby food, the favorite meal of her cat, Nicholas. She also directed the executor to line Nicholas’s bed with her old nightgowns and play her songs each night as Nicholas went to sleep.
McDonald’s restaurants will buy 54,000,000 pounds of fresh apples this year.
UNSEEN TV
Ever wondered what the network geniuses do behind closed doors? Here are some TV shows that they approved and produced…but never broadcast .
S HOW : Manchester Prep
STORY : For fall 1999, the Fox network planned a TV series version of the racy teen film Cruel Intentions . The movie had a lot of sex scenes, a lesbian kiss, and even incest between two main characters, and the show was just as graphic—too graphic for TV. Fox chairman Rupert Murdoch personally told producers to cut a horseback sex scene. They refused, and the show was cancelled. But rather than let it sit on the shelf, producers reassembled the cast and filmed new footage—sex scenes with full nudity—and added it to the two episodes of Manchester Prep already produced, and released it as a straight-to-video movie called Cruel Intentions 2 .
SHOW : The Young Astronauts
STORY : In early 1986, the United States was in the middle of a “space craze” not seen since the 1960s. Reason: the upcoming launch of the Space Shuttle Challenger , which would have civilians on board for the first time ever. To play into the excitement, CBS produced The Young Astronauts , a Saturday morning cartoon about teenage space travelers, to air in February 1986. When the Challenger tragically exploded shortly after liftoff, killing everyone on board, CBS immediately cancelled the unaired series.
SHOW : Babylon Fields
STORY : Like Desperate Housewives, Babylon Fields was part comedy and part drama, and set in an upscale suburb. Except that in this suburb (for reasons unknown), hundreds of people had risen from the dead and were now zombies, trying to resume their lives. Babylon Fields was supposed to deal with the kind of problems a new zombie might face, such as rotting flesh, rigor mortis, and soothing the emotions of loved ones who’d mourned their deaths and were trying to move on. CBS actually picked up the show for fall 2007, but at the last second (reportedly because of ABC’s raising the dead-themed Pushing Daisies ), killed it.
Only 4 players in NBA history have compiled 20,000 points, 10,000 rebounds, and 4,000 assists: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Wilt Chamberlain, Karl Malone, and Charles Barkley.
SHOW : Aquaman (also known as Mercy Reef )
STORY : In 2006 producers of the Superman-based Smallville introduced another superhero, Aquaman (played by Justin Hartley) into an episode, intending to spin him off into his own series. A pilot was filmed (also starring Ving Rhames and Lou Diamond Phillips), which TV insiders and entertainment writers called one of the best of the year. But when the fall 2006 schedule was announced, there was no Aquaman . Why? The WB was merging with UPN, another network, and in consolidating their programming, they left a lot of shows on the sidelines, including Aquaman . Later that year, the pilot was quietly put up for sale on iTunes, and became the online store’s most-downloaded TV show. It still never became a series.
SHOW : Snip
STORY : In 1976 NBC gave comedian David Brenner his own sitcom. The premise: Brenner played a divorced hairdresser whose ex-wife moves back in with him. It looked like a surefire hit. Brenner was one of the most popular comedians of the time, and the show was created by James Komack (who also made Chico and the Man and Welcome Back, Kotter ). Seven episodes were filmed, but at the last minute, some NBC executives got nervous and pulled the plug. Why? The network feared controversy over another character—a openly gay hairdresser. Brenner bitterly quipped to a reporter, “Apparently, in 1976 there were no gay people in America.”
SHOW : Mr. Dugan
STORY : In 1978 the title character of Maude
McDonald’s restaurants will buy 54,000,000 pounds of fresh apples this year.
UNSEEN TV
Ever wondered what the network geniuses do behind closed doors? Here are some TV shows that they approved and produced…but never broadcast .
S HOW : Manchester Prep
STORY : For fall 1999, the Fox network planned a TV series version of the racy teen film Cruel Intentions . The movie had a lot of sex scenes, a lesbian kiss, and even incest between two main characters, and the show was just as graphic—too graphic for TV. Fox chairman Rupert Murdoch personally told producers to cut a horseback sex scene. They refused, and the show was cancelled. But rather than let it sit on the shelf, producers reassembled the cast and filmed new footage—sex scenes with full nudity—and added it to the two episodes of Manchester Prep already produced, and released it as a straight-to-video movie called Cruel Intentions 2 .
SHOW : The Young Astronauts
STORY : In early 1986, the United States was in the middle of a “space craze” not seen since the 1960s. Reason: the upcoming launch of the Space Shuttle Challenger , which would have civilians on board for the first time ever. To play into the excitement, CBS produced The Young Astronauts , a Saturday morning cartoon about teenage space travelers, to air in February 1986. When the Challenger tragically exploded shortly after liftoff, killing everyone on board, CBS immediately cancelled the unaired series.
SHOW : Babylon Fields
STORY : Like Desperate Housewives, Babylon Fields was part comedy and part drama, and set in an upscale suburb. Except that in this suburb (for reasons unknown), hundreds of people had risen from the dead and were now zombies, trying to resume their lives. Babylon Fields was supposed to deal with the kind of problems a new zombie might face, such as rotting flesh, rigor mortis, and soothing the emotions of loved ones who’d mourned their deaths and were trying to move on. CBS actually picked up the show for fall 2007, but at the last second (reportedly because of ABC’s raising the dead-themed Pushing Daisies ), killed it.
Only 4 players in NBA history have compiled 20,000 points, 10,000 rebounds, and 4,000 assists: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Wilt Chamberlain, Karl Malone, and Charles Barkley.
SHOW : Aquaman (also known as Mercy Reef )
STORY : In 2006 producers of the Superman-based Smallville introduced another superhero, Aquaman (played by Justin Hartley) into an episode, intending to spin him off into his own series. A pilot was filmed (also starring Ving Rhames and Lou Diamond Phillips), which TV insiders and entertainment writers called one of the best of the year. But when the fall 2006 schedule was announced, there was no Aquaman . Why? The WB was merging with UPN, another network, and in consolidating their programming, they left a lot of shows on the sidelines, including Aquaman . Later that year, the pilot was quietly put up for sale on iTunes, and became the online store’s most-downloaded TV show. It still never became a series.
SHOW : Snip
STORY : In 1976 NBC gave comedian David Brenner his own sitcom. The premise: Brenner played a divorced hairdresser whose ex-wife moves back in with him. It looked like a surefire hit. Brenner was one of the most popular comedians of the time, and the show was created by James Komack (who also made Chico and the Man and Welcome Back, Kotter ). Seven episodes were filmed, but at the last minute, some NBC executives got nervous and pulled the plug. Why? The network feared controversy over another character—a openly gay hairdresser. Brenner bitterly quipped to a reporter, “Apparently, in 1976 there were no gay people in America.”
SHOW : Mr. Dugan
STORY : In 1978 the title character of Maude
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