Read Online Uncle John’s Heavy Duty Bathroom Reader@ by Bathroom Readers’ Institute - Free Book Online
Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute
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happened and catapulted into Napoleon.”
“Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.”
“Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.”
“Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.”
The German language has words to describe 30 different types of kisses.
FIGHT CLUB, STARRING
RUSSELL CROWE
Some films are so closely associated with a specific actor or director that it’s hard to imagine they weren’t the first choices. But it happens all the time. Can you imagine, for example …
B EN AFFLECK & MATT DAMON AS JACK & ENNIS (Brokeback Mountain, 2005) Gus Van Sant was the first big-name director to show interest in adapting Annie Proulx’s 1997 short story about the struggles of two cowboys who fall in love. Having previously directed real-life best friends Affleck and Damon in Good Will Hunting, Van Sant offered them the roles, but Damon declined (he’d just played a homosexual in The Talented Mr. Ripley ). When Ang Lee took over the project, he offered the roles to Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Wahlberg (Wahlberg declined because the gay subject matter “creeped him out”). The parts ultimately went to Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal.
MARK WAHLBERG AS DONNIE DARKO (Donnie Darko, 2001) The first actor tapped to play the troubled teenager was Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore), who had to turn down the role because of scheduling conflicts. Vince Vaughn auditioned, but at 30 he was too old to play a high-school student. Mark Wahlberg was then offered the part, but reportedly told director Richard Kelly that he would only play Darko with a lisp. Kelly said no, and Wahlberg was out. The lengthy casting process came to an end as soon as Jake Gyllenhaal showed up. According to co-star and co-producer Drew Barrymore: “Jake simply was Donnie Darko.”
RUSSELL CROWE AS TYLER DURDEN (Fight Club, 1999) One of the film’s producers wanted Crowe to play Durden, the character who convinces the narrator to start a club for committing terrorist acts. That decision was put on hold while they looked for a director. The first choice was Peter Jackson, a fan of the original Chuck Palahniuk novel, but he’d already begun work on The Lord of the Rings . Bryan Singer (The Usual Suspects ) was sent the book but he didn’t even read it. The third choice, British director Danny Boyle (Trainspotting), was busy with other projects. When their fourth choice, David Fincher, finally signed on, he lobbied for Brad Pitt to play Durden. Leading the candidates to play the narrator were Matt Damon and Sean Penn. Instead, Fincher cast the lesser-known Edward Norton, impressed by his performance in The People vs. Larry Flynt . The female lead was offered to Renée Zellweger, but she declined due to the dark subject material. Cast instead: Helena Bonham Carter.
Buy paint! Studies show artists have more lovers than people in other career fields.
TOM CRUISE AS BENJAMIN BUTTON (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, 2008) F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1922 short story about a man who ages in reverse spent decades in development. Jack Nicholson was the first actor considered for the role of Button, and that was back in the 1970s. Several director/actor teams subsequently signed on to the project but then opted out, including Frank Oz and Martin Short, Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise, and Ron Howard and John Travolta. Reason: The makeup effects were too difficult to do convincingly. Director Spike Jonze and screenwriter Charlie Kaufman (the team behind Being John Malkovich ) were offered a shot at it, but they also said no. Thanks to improvements in digital effects, the story finally made it to the big screen in 2008 with David Fincher directing Brad Pitt in the lead, the duo’s third film together (after Se7en and Fight Club) .
CAMERON DIAZ AS BRIDGET JONES (Bridget Jones’s Diary, 2001) When the film adaptation of Helen
“Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.”
“Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.”
“Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.”
The German language has words to describe 30 different types of kisses.
FIGHT CLUB, STARRING
RUSSELL CROWE
Some films are so closely associated with a specific actor or director that it’s hard to imagine they weren’t the first choices. But it happens all the time. Can you imagine, for example …
B EN AFFLECK & MATT DAMON AS JACK & ENNIS (Brokeback Mountain, 2005) Gus Van Sant was the first big-name director to show interest in adapting Annie Proulx’s 1997 short story about the struggles of two cowboys who fall in love. Having previously directed real-life best friends Affleck and Damon in Good Will Hunting, Van Sant offered them the roles, but Damon declined (he’d just played a homosexual in The Talented Mr. Ripley ). When Ang Lee took over the project, he offered the roles to Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Wahlberg (Wahlberg declined because the gay subject matter “creeped him out”). The parts ultimately went to Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal.
MARK WAHLBERG AS DONNIE DARKO (Donnie Darko, 2001) The first actor tapped to play the troubled teenager was Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore), who had to turn down the role because of scheduling conflicts. Vince Vaughn auditioned, but at 30 he was too old to play a high-school student. Mark Wahlberg was then offered the part, but reportedly told director Richard Kelly that he would only play Darko with a lisp. Kelly said no, and Wahlberg was out. The lengthy casting process came to an end as soon as Jake Gyllenhaal showed up. According to co-star and co-producer Drew Barrymore: “Jake simply was Donnie Darko.”
RUSSELL CROWE AS TYLER DURDEN (Fight Club, 1999) One of the film’s producers wanted Crowe to play Durden, the character who convinces the narrator to start a club for committing terrorist acts. That decision was put on hold while they looked for a director. The first choice was Peter Jackson, a fan of the original Chuck Palahniuk novel, but he’d already begun work on The Lord of the Rings . Bryan Singer (The Usual Suspects ) was sent the book but he didn’t even read it. The third choice, British director Danny Boyle (Trainspotting), was busy with other projects. When their fourth choice, David Fincher, finally signed on, he lobbied for Brad Pitt to play Durden. Leading the candidates to play the narrator were Matt Damon and Sean Penn. Instead, Fincher cast the lesser-known Edward Norton, impressed by his performance in The People vs. Larry Flynt . The female lead was offered to Renée Zellweger, but she declined due to the dark subject material. Cast instead: Helena Bonham Carter.
Buy paint! Studies show artists have more lovers than people in other career fields.
TOM CRUISE AS BENJAMIN BUTTON (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, 2008) F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1922 short story about a man who ages in reverse spent decades in development. Jack Nicholson was the first actor considered for the role of Button, and that was back in the 1970s. Several director/actor teams subsequently signed on to the project but then opted out, including Frank Oz and Martin Short, Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise, and Ron Howard and John Travolta. Reason: The makeup effects were too difficult to do convincingly. Director Spike Jonze and screenwriter Charlie Kaufman (the team behind Being John Malkovich ) were offered a shot at it, but they also said no. Thanks to improvements in digital effects, the story finally made it to the big screen in 2008 with David Fincher directing Brad Pitt in the lead, the duo’s third film together (after Se7en and Fight Club) .
CAMERON DIAZ AS BRIDGET JONES (Bridget Jones’s Diary, 2001) When the film adaptation of Helen
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