Read Online Uncle John’s 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader® by Bathroom Readers’ Institute - Free Book Online

economy picks up and they’re needed again.
    • Movie Tickets. As expensive as a trip to the multiplex is nowadays, it’s still a lot cheaper than a weekend at the beach. People who can’t afford to take a vacation often compensate by going to the movies instead, causing ticket sales to rise in a recession.
    • Donuts. People who can’t afford a full breakfast in a restaurant will often trade down to a donut and coffee. Hot dog sales do well in hard times for the same reason: In the 1930s, they were known as “Depression sandwiches.”
    • Laxatives. When people are under stress and living on donuts and hot dogs...well, you figure it out.
    • Lipstick. Studies show that women who don’t have the money for a new dress or new shoes will spend $15 or $20 on lipstick instead. Belts, scarves, bracelets, and other fashion accessories that dress up old outfits also do well, as do home permanents and dye kits that offer a cheap alternative to hair salons.
    • Alligators. Most gators that end up as boots, handbags, and other designer goods are raised on farms. Sales of these items tend to crash during a recession (they’re too expensive and too flashy in hard times), and the alligator population on these farms explodes.
    • Lightbulbs. When Jack Welch took the helm at General Electric in 1981, the company made more than just lightbulbs, but he still swore by sales of bulbs as an indicator of where the economy was heading. “When people are affluent, they go to the store and buy what’s called ‘pantry inventory,’” he told an interviewer in 2001. “They’ll buy a pack of six or a pack of eight, and they’ll wait for the lights to go out. When times are tough, a light burns out, they’ll go buy one to replace the one went out. There are probably a thousand better indicators, but that one’s never been wrong.”
Banker slang for people who pay off their credit cards in full each month: “deadbeats.”

BEN THERE, DONE THAT
Where has this awesome quote page Ben all our lives?
    “A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.”
    — Benjamin Franklin, statesman
    “We have to try to score more points than they do.”
    — Ben Roethlisberger, QB, on how to win a Super Bowl
    “We don’t point a pistol at our own forehead. That is not the way to conduct negotiations.”
    — Benjamin Netanyahu, Israeli prime minister
    “Do unto others, then run.”
    — Benny Hill, comedian
    “God help me if I ever do another movie with an explosion in it. You’ll know I’ve lost all my money.”
    — Ben Affleck, actor
    “A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.”
    — Ben Jonson, English poet
    “If you do nothing long enough, something’s bound to happen.”
    — H. Jon Benjamin, comedian
    “I’m not Jack Nicholson. I’m not Brando. But I do mumble.”
    — Benicio Del Toro, actor
    “When a man recalls the good old days, he’s really thinking of his bad young days.”
    — Ben Stein, writer and actor
    “Who is more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him?”
    — Ben Kenobi, Jedi Master
    “The magician and the politician have much in common: They both have to draw our attention away from what they are really doing.”
    — Ben Okri, Nigerian poet
    “The disappointment of manhood succeeds the delusion of youth.”
    — Benjamin Disraeli, British prime minister
    “Relax? How can you play golf and relax? You have to grip the club, don’t you?”
    — Ben Hogan, golf legend
    “Bonnnnnnng!”
    — Big Ben, clock
Florida pharmacist Benjamin Green invented suntan lotion in 1944.

THERE’S A RECORD
FOR THAT?
Anybody can run fast or eat a bunch of hot dogs, but it takes true commitment to be the world-record prune-eater .
    • BROOM-BALANCING. Leo Bircher (Switzerland) holds the record for balancing a broom—on his nose—for a record time of two hours, one minute.
    • CHRISTMAS TREE-BALANCING. David Downes (England) balanced a seven-foot-tall tree on his chin for 56.82 seconds.
    • TYPING.