to think the Royal Family lived there still, sheltered from the city by water alone.
I stood and stretched.
Now, by night, the palace grounds formed a black void with only a minimum of lights scattered throughout. The street directly below me was hidden from view. I had to press myself to the glass and peer straight down to glimpse it. Vertigo turned in my stomach, but despite it I felt safe. The world was comfortably cut off from me. I could look down on it with the cosy objectivity of a scientist peering through a microscope.
As I turned away, however, Tilly came to mind, focusing a growing sense of my own treachery. I tried to determine how it was she spanned the height, how it was she leapt up, intruding. I realised with surprise that I wanted to share my exploration of the hotel room, relate it back to her like an excited child.
I decided not to stay the whole night, and to forget about my jacket. This seemed the only sensible course of action. In return for walking away I struck a deal with myself. I would say nothing to Tilly about my two hotel visits so long as I never contacted Mami again. At four a.m., before the commuter trains started up, I wrote Mami a brief note and used a magnet to attach it to the small fridge where she kept milk for morning coffee.
Dear Mami,
You fell asleep. I let myself out. You can keep the jacket.
Cheers, N.
âCheersâ seemed a poor choice of word but nothing else fit.
I found my way to Tokyo Station and onto an early train, sleeping throughout most of the journey home. At one point I worried that Mami was sitting beside me, talking. Then I realised I was sliding from my seat and, coming to, banged the back of my head on the window. Commuters stared, but Mami was not one of them. She had not followed me, and my relief was laced with disappointment.
A Loan
I was at this time still working half days in a large public primary school, teaching English on rotation and moving from one class to the next. It was not normally a difficult job, so long as I had no interest in doing it well. Mostly I led the students in song (always the same song, since teachers tended to select âTen Little Indiansâ) and was paraded around like any other atypical attractionâsay a fireman, or a large, shaggy white dog. I liked my students. They tagged along beside me, reaching up for my hand, and asked about my hobbies, exact eating habits and blood type, as if my difference could be pinned to one of these three key variables. I liked the less dogmatic teachers, too. But I was not at all sorry to take two days off after visiting Mamiâs hotel. I cited non-specific illness and the principal âeither kindly or thinking it some virile foreign bugâ told me to recuperate fully before returning to amuse.
It was during this hiatus that I first met Harry.
He found me draped over a TV room chair watching a talk show in which a panel of women detailed their stand against dependence on men, listing exactly which gifts they would and would not accept from a suitor. At least, this was my best guess at the topic. It could just as easily have been an erudite discussion of the impressionists, with an emphasis on Sisley.
âYou understand Japanese?â Harry asked from the doorway, impressed.
âSometimes.â
âIâm Harry.â
âNoah.â
I stood and offered my hand, and thirty-something Harry, who came up to my neck, shook it firmly (as if his handshake was a point of pride). His curly light-brown hair was thinning on top and he had a bulbous nose. He was in no way handsome, with small, calculating eyes and a coin-slot mouth, but there was something oddly amiable about him.
âYou like sport?â he asked.
Not having expected this question, I hesitated. âMostly.â
âGreat. Iâm looking for someone to watch sport with around here, to share a beer with. I just arrived. How about hockey? Watch it?â
âFrom time to
I stood and stretched.
Now, by night, the palace grounds formed a black void with only a minimum of lights scattered throughout. The street directly below me was hidden from view. I had to press myself to the glass and peer straight down to glimpse it. Vertigo turned in my stomach, but despite it I felt safe. The world was comfortably cut off from me. I could look down on it with the cosy objectivity of a scientist peering through a microscope.
As I turned away, however, Tilly came to mind, focusing a growing sense of my own treachery. I tried to determine how it was she spanned the height, how it was she leapt up, intruding. I realised with surprise that I wanted to share my exploration of the hotel room, relate it back to her like an excited child.
I decided not to stay the whole night, and to forget about my jacket. This seemed the only sensible course of action. In return for walking away I struck a deal with myself. I would say nothing to Tilly about my two hotel visits so long as I never contacted Mami again. At four a.m., before the commuter trains started up, I wrote Mami a brief note and used a magnet to attach it to the small fridge where she kept milk for morning coffee.
Dear Mami,
You fell asleep. I let myself out. You can keep the jacket.
Cheers, N.
âCheersâ seemed a poor choice of word but nothing else fit.
I found my way to Tokyo Station and onto an early train, sleeping throughout most of the journey home. At one point I worried that Mami was sitting beside me, talking. Then I realised I was sliding from my seat and, coming to, banged the back of my head on the window. Commuters stared, but Mami was not one of them. She had not followed me, and my relief was laced with disappointment.
A Loan
I was at this time still working half days in a large public primary school, teaching English on rotation and moving from one class to the next. It was not normally a difficult job, so long as I had no interest in doing it well. Mostly I led the students in song (always the same song, since teachers tended to select âTen Little Indiansâ) and was paraded around like any other atypical attractionâsay a fireman, or a large, shaggy white dog. I liked my students. They tagged along beside me, reaching up for my hand, and asked about my hobbies, exact eating habits and blood type, as if my difference could be pinned to one of these three key variables. I liked the less dogmatic teachers, too. But I was not at all sorry to take two days off after visiting Mamiâs hotel. I cited non-specific illness and the principal âeither kindly or thinking it some virile foreign bugâ told me to recuperate fully before returning to amuse.
It was during this hiatus that I first met Harry.
He found me draped over a TV room chair watching a talk show in which a panel of women detailed their stand against dependence on men, listing exactly which gifts they would and would not accept from a suitor. At least, this was my best guess at the topic. It could just as easily have been an erudite discussion of the impressionists, with an emphasis on Sisley.
âYou understand Japanese?â Harry asked from the doorway, impressed.
âSometimes.â
âIâm Harry.â
âNoah.â
I stood and offered my hand, and thirty-something Harry, who came up to my neck, shook it firmly (as if his handshake was a point of pride). His curly light-brown hair was thinning on top and he had a bulbous nose. He was in no way handsome, with small, calculating eyes and a coin-slot mouth, but there was something oddly amiable about him.
âYou like sport?â he asked.
Not having expected this question, I hesitated. âMostly.â
âGreat. Iâm looking for someone to watch sport with around here, to share a beer with. I just arrived. How about hockey? Watch it?â
âFrom time to
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