Read Online Trapped by Dean Murray - Free Book Online

not with Anton out there. You'll never
know but that he's there waiting for you to come back, using
them to lure you back. The best way to guarantee their safety is to
convince them that you're never coming back and then for you to
never return."
    Words
failed me once again. I mustered a nod and then escaped into the
bathroom, convinced somehow that he was right. The room was empty
when I got done with my shower and ventured out of the bathroom. I
sensed that Ash hadn't been running away, he'd just been
trying to give me the space I needed to finish my letter.
    I
opened my notepad back up and crafted the best lie I'd ever
managed. I hadn't left for a boy or any of the other reasons
that they'd never have believed. Instead I told them that I'd
cracked from the pressure. Pressure I'd put on myself. I'd
left and was too ashamed to come back and face them.
    I
took away all hope that I'd ever come back but tried to balance
it with the sense that I'd managed to land on my feet, that I
had a place to stay and a steady job. The emotions continued to surge
higher and higher inside me as I worked on my letter, but I refused
to break down and cry. I knew once I started that there'd be no
turning back, and I needed to finish the letter now, not later.
    I
finally entered a state of numbness which let me put the last few
paragraphs down on paper. Once it was done, I stared at it for a few
minutes before folding it up and tucking it back inside my suitcase.
    I
turned out my light and curled up under my covers, still unable to
feel anything. Ash came back inside a couple of minutes later, but I
pretended to be asleep already. He quietly got ready for bed and then
turned his light off as well.
    I
almost thought I imagined his whispered good night, but the way it
hung in the air was something I couldn't have just conjured up
from nothing. His continued thoughtfulness broke down the barriers
I'd put up and I found myself quietly sobbing into my pillow.
    Ash's
hand on my shoulder was the lifeline I'd needed without really
realizing it. I turned towards him and he wrapped his arms around me
and just let me cry without saying anything to try and make it
better. It was the perfect response—there wasn't anything that
could make it better other than time and distance.
     
     

Chapter 8
     
    Things
were less tense between Ash and I after that breakdown. Without me
having to ask, he stopped the next morning so I could buy envelopes
and then after I'd addressed it to my parents he stuffed my
letter in another series of envelopes and addressed each of them
somewhere else. It seemed like a reasonable way to me to make sure
that nobody could track us down.
    Once
we were back on the road, letter safely deposited in one of the blue
post office pickup boxes, I decided to see if I could get Ash to open
up to me.
    "So
where did you learn all of this spy stuff?"
    "If
I told you, then I'd have to kill you."
    The
line was delivered with such a matter-of-fact tone that I almost
didn't realize he was joking. It wasn't until he looked
over and gave me a small smile that I started breathing again.
    "In
truth, that's not far off. Once I left home I knew I needed
training if I was going to survive. I started taking classes. I
signed up with nearly everyone who claimed to have any knowledge, but
I focused mostly on those who claimed to be ex-Special Forces or from
the intelligence community."
    "You
mean those kinds of people just hang out a shingle and teach
whoever?"
    Ash's
chuckle was a dry thing, but I took it as a good sign.
    "No,
those kinds of people don't just teach whoever. Most of the
people I ran into were complete hacks, frauds even. But I kept my
ears open and asked a lot of questions. After they had my money most
of them could be persuaded to recommend other places I should go for
more training. Eventually that chain led up to people who really were
what I was looking for."
    "Wow,
what was the training like?"
    I
was deciding that Ash's shrugs were a