on computers or cared for crippled young men and women who could not eat or wash or dress without help. Caring for cripples was not shocking to Nadia. After Chernobyl, survivors were shipped to various parts of Ukraine, and she assumed this place was simply one of many so-called Chernobyl orphanages.
More shocking to Nadia than the cripples was sitting at a computer going through Bible lessons. Even though everyone here spoke Ukrainian, someone had written Russian language game-like computer programs. At first the lessons were addictive, because as street urchins they had never been welcome in Kiev’s computer cafés. But soon the games grew boring, and when Guri asked about Internet access, several older boys laughed at him and slapped him about.
As time went on, Nadia had to admit that caring for the cripples gave purpose to her existence, making it easier to sit through so-called lectures given by Pyotr, their leader, who was old and tall and silver-haired, or by his counselors—Vasily or Tomas or Semyon, who were young and strong and full of energy.
All four newcomers had individual mentors to remind them of the horrors of the mountain, the difficulties living on the streets of Kiev, and the suffering of the cripples. Lena, Nadia’s mentor, explained the rules. Do not make waves; do not fuck with the counselors, which was not meant as metaphor but dire warning; do not touch any of the cats or their kittens; and do not attempt escape. The only way out was through good works. Lena insisted she was living proof of this, marrying good works with pleasurable trips far and wide, including some hot sex. At times Lena seemed confused, saying things had changed recently at the compound, especially the addition of Bible computer programs in Russian. When Nadia tried to correct Lena, saying the place was called “the peninsula,” Lena became angry with her for the first time. “Peninsula! Compound! Orphanage! Training camp for boy soldiers! Call it what you want, little shit!”
Even though Lena referred to the cripples as armless, they were not all armless. But they were minus something—either one or more body parts, like larynxes or feet or breasts or testicles or any variety of limbs and organs—or they had something wrong in their heads. Several appeared to be retarded children, even though Lena told her they were in their twenties. To keep things simple, most used the term “armless” because having no arms was the most visible affliction, being these were the ones able to walk around camp on their own and not cover up their disability with jeans and shoes and sweatshirts. Even those with no visible affliction who were paranoid or demented were called armless. It made things easier, like calling them pets, even though for some reason, there were no real pets here as far as Nadia could see, only the cats that hid in the woods. Perhaps, instead of calling the cripples armless, they should be called pets.
These were Nadia’s thoughts as she lay on her cot in the dark bunkhouse. She felt secure at the compound because here men did not come out from behind lights and cameras waggling dicks in her face … the last waggled dick blown to a stump as he turned from her…
Peace here, rest here, lovable Lena here to care for her. Safe on the peninsula after what happened in the mountains and what could happen if they returned to Kiev. Yet, as she neared sleep, Nadia wondered what Lena was thinking, or dreaming. Perhaps Lena acted her way through life so she could eventually take Nadia away with her … But where?
Finally, after lying awake only a few minutes, the potent sleeping pill took effect and Nadia dreamed the disjointed dreams of one still suffering from shock.
Vasily reclined against an upended skiff on the beach staring up until moon and stars engulfed him. The aluminum skiff was cool on his back as he recalled the old days on the peninsula. Better days when Pyotr spent more time among them—cutting
More shocking to Nadia than the cripples was sitting at a computer going through Bible lessons. Even though everyone here spoke Ukrainian, someone had written Russian language game-like computer programs. At first the lessons were addictive, because as street urchins they had never been welcome in Kiev’s computer cafés. But soon the games grew boring, and when Guri asked about Internet access, several older boys laughed at him and slapped him about.
As time went on, Nadia had to admit that caring for the cripples gave purpose to her existence, making it easier to sit through so-called lectures given by Pyotr, their leader, who was old and tall and silver-haired, or by his counselors—Vasily or Tomas or Semyon, who were young and strong and full of energy.
All four newcomers had individual mentors to remind them of the horrors of the mountain, the difficulties living on the streets of Kiev, and the suffering of the cripples. Lena, Nadia’s mentor, explained the rules. Do not make waves; do not fuck with the counselors, which was not meant as metaphor but dire warning; do not touch any of the cats or their kittens; and do not attempt escape. The only way out was through good works. Lena insisted she was living proof of this, marrying good works with pleasurable trips far and wide, including some hot sex. At times Lena seemed confused, saying things had changed recently at the compound, especially the addition of Bible computer programs in Russian. When Nadia tried to correct Lena, saying the place was called “the peninsula,” Lena became angry with her for the first time. “Peninsula! Compound! Orphanage! Training camp for boy soldiers! Call it what you want, little shit!”
Even though Lena referred to the cripples as armless, they were not all armless. But they were minus something—either one or more body parts, like larynxes or feet or breasts or testicles or any variety of limbs and organs—or they had something wrong in their heads. Several appeared to be retarded children, even though Lena told her they were in their twenties. To keep things simple, most used the term “armless” because having no arms was the most visible affliction, being these were the ones able to walk around camp on their own and not cover up their disability with jeans and shoes and sweatshirts. Even those with no visible affliction who were paranoid or demented were called armless. It made things easier, like calling them pets, even though for some reason, there were no real pets here as far as Nadia could see, only the cats that hid in the woods. Perhaps, instead of calling the cripples armless, they should be called pets.
These were Nadia’s thoughts as she lay on her cot in the dark bunkhouse. She felt secure at the compound because here men did not come out from behind lights and cameras waggling dicks in her face … the last waggled dick blown to a stump as he turned from her…
Peace here, rest here, lovable Lena here to care for her. Safe on the peninsula after what happened in the mountains and what could happen if they returned to Kiev. Yet, as she neared sleep, Nadia wondered what Lena was thinking, or dreaming. Perhaps Lena acted her way through life so she could eventually take Nadia away with her … But where?
Finally, after lying awake only a few minutes, the potent sleeping pill took effect and Nadia dreamed the disjointed dreams of one still suffering from shock.
Vasily reclined against an upended skiff on the beach staring up until moon and stars engulfed him. The aluminum skiff was cool on his back as he recalled the old days on the peninsula. Better days when Pyotr spent more time among them—cutting
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