Read Online Touching the Surface by Kimberly Sabatini - Free Book Online Page A

bravado melted into puddles at my feet.
    My weakness made me hate him more. The fact that he had Julia and I didn’t was unbearable. I rushed past Oliver and out the door.
    •  •  •
    I skipped lunch and snuck up to my room. I had one ear tuned toward the door, listening for the delicate dance of Julia’s footsteps. This was the first time I was hoping she wouldn’t show up. If I heard her coming, I might seriously consider hiding under the bed.
    I’d expected to feel safe up here, but I couldn’t get out of my own head. I couldn’t block out the vision of Julia sucking face with Trevor or stop remembering Oliver bloodied and broken.
    I broke him.
    I flipped back and forth between self-loathing and confusion. I winced as a fresh strip of cuticle was torn from my ring finger, a hapless victim of my emotions. I started picking at the next finger while I paced. I couldn’t remember her, but I so wanted my mom right now.
    What about Oliver’s mom? She must be devastated. She wasn’t aware that he was safe and happy, here with me. She couldn’t comprehend that he loved the girl who’d taken him away. She might be struggling to believe there even was an afterlife. Did she have moments where she wondered if her baby had been erased?
    I flashed back to the look on her face, when she knew without a doubt that Oliver was gone. The raw, visceral noises that poured out of her soul as she ran to him.
    I could hear the hum and feel my legs quivering. The lights were going out again. This memory was the last place I ever wanted to return to but it seemed like my intense emotions were the trigger for these unexpected Delves. I threw out my hands in protest but . . .
    •  •  •
    I couldn’t watch anymore. I couldn’t move. Horror anchored my feet to the earth. I could hear sirens in the distance, but they were too late.
    Too late to save Oliver.
    Too late to save me.
    Too damn late.
    Staring at my feet, I noticed my hand. It had blood on it. Curled between my fingers was a cell phone filled to capacity with the indescribable cries of my mom.
    I flipped the phone shut. It slid from my fingers and clattered to my feet. I was alone, wishing for my mother and realizing that I didn’t deserve to have her comfort me.
    The little girl in the car seat wailed and I could hear the sirens coming closer in the moments when Oliver’s mom quieted, pressing her lips to his dirt-streaked face. Her silence only lasted as long as it took for her mind to rewrap itself around the trunk of that tree. It was agonizing to watch. Thenher head shot up and she blazed with accusation. She burned from the inside out and all her fire was directed at me. She knew what I’d done.
    •  •  •
    I woke up sprawled across my bed, with the sun peeking up over the trees. I must have staggered over before falling into that Delve. I didn’t know if my exhaustion was from the heart-wrenching memories or if it was a shut-off valve for having taken in too much information. Either way I’d slept through the night. I was grateful. Sleep had been a reprieve from the problems that were never going to go away.
    Looking around, I realized Julia wasn’t here, but she had been. Two more paper cranes lay on my pillow. Now I had three of them.
    There was a persistent tap at the door. “Elliot, open up.” The voice was male and authoritative. I must’ve processed the words a little too slowly, because as I glanced up he was coming through the door.
    “David?”
    What was he doing in my room? I didn’t see a hospitality basket with muffins.
    David stood in the middle of my sanctuary and slowly rotated 360 degrees. My fingers reached up and clutched a lock of my hair, trying to find something tangible to hold on to while my space was being invaded.
    “So, this is where Mel stashed you.” He sniffed and a plug of phlegm shifted and rattled. “I suppose Freddie had something to do with it too.”
    Was I supposed to say something? This guy was