moment. Everything felt so blurry, like he was looking through smeared glasses that weren’t even his prescription. Then Jeremy took his arm and the world became crystal clear again.
George was nothing if not organized. As soon as the diagnosis had been confirmed three years ago, he had pre-arranged everything and made sure his affairs were in order. Before he lost the ability, he wrote pages of detailed notes on what needed to be done. Even in his death, George had wanted to make things easy for him.
So there was nothing for him to do now but go back to his empty house.
Jeremy drove him home, but Erik barely remembered anything about the trip. For so long he had prayed for George to be freed from his torment. For three years his entire life had been about making George’s last years, months, days count, but he hadn’t really considered the after. Now that it had arrived, he felt nothing.
Somehow he made it up the steps and into the house. He supposed that’s the way it would be from now on—just keep putting one foot in front of the other and somehow you would get there. Erik was aware of Jeremy following close behind, asking him if he wanted a drink or something. Erik ignored him, shut the door to his bedroom, stripped off his clothes and crawled into bed.
He awoke near dawn to the feel of arms around him and a warm body spooned against his back. It was something he hadn’t felt in years. And it felt so damned good that he buried his face in the pillow and let loose the tears he hadn’t been able to shed at the hospital.
George was gone. Truly gone.
And sweet, trusting Jeremy had stayed with him all night. He was aware now of Jeremy gently stroking his chest. It wasn’t sexual but soothing, and he savored the comforting embrace, reluctant to move from this warm and safe cocoon. The moment he stepped from this bed he would be on his own for the first time in nearly thirty years. It was terrifying.
As the tears dried on his face, Erik fully registered the press of young, nubile body against his back, the sweet-sour morning smell of another person, and arousal stirred in his groin.
Jeremy’s lips grazed his bare shoulder, letting Erik know he was awake. “Your phone kept ringing last night. Your voicemail will be full.”
“You didn’t need to stay,” he said without turning his head.
“I know. But I thought you could use the company.”
“I’m glad you did.”
Jeremy gave him a tight squeeze and snuggled closer. “Think I got the better end of the deal.”
Erik felt the unmistakable nudge of a hard cock against his ass. The need to be filled was so strong it made him shiver. Guilt and lust churned within him. He eased his hips away before he was tempted to do something he’d regret later.
“Sorry,” Jeremy whispered. “I can’t help that.”
Erik swallowed. “No worries.” The guilt ate at him; here he was lying in bed with a young man not twenty-four hours after George died. The worst part was admitting how much he liked it. He didn’t want Jeremy to go. But he should get up. He had a 9:30 a.m. appointment and calls to make.
“Are you going to be okay?”
Okay . What a word to describe his life without George. “I’ll have to be, won’t I?” Erik was grateful Jeremy didn’t try to offer him platitudes about it getting better. He knew it would eventually, one day, but right now he didn’t want to hear that. “You know what the truly horrible thing is? I’m relieved in a way,” he admitted roughly. “Not just for him. For me too. I’m a monster.”
“No, you’re not.”
Erik patted the arm Jeremy had draped over his waist. “ Thank you. You’re a sweet kid to take care of an old guy like me.”
“That’s not why I’m here.”
He couldn’t stop the leap of his heart that time. For some reason Jeremy had developed a crush on him and it both thrilled and horrified him at the same time. “I know.” He sighed. He rolled to his back so he could look at Jeremy’s
George was nothing if not organized. As soon as the diagnosis had been confirmed three years ago, he had pre-arranged everything and made sure his affairs were in order. Before he lost the ability, he wrote pages of detailed notes on what needed to be done. Even in his death, George had wanted to make things easy for him.
So there was nothing for him to do now but go back to his empty house.
Jeremy drove him home, but Erik barely remembered anything about the trip. For so long he had prayed for George to be freed from his torment. For three years his entire life had been about making George’s last years, months, days count, but he hadn’t really considered the after. Now that it had arrived, he felt nothing.
Somehow he made it up the steps and into the house. He supposed that’s the way it would be from now on—just keep putting one foot in front of the other and somehow you would get there. Erik was aware of Jeremy following close behind, asking him if he wanted a drink or something. Erik ignored him, shut the door to his bedroom, stripped off his clothes and crawled into bed.
He awoke near dawn to the feel of arms around him and a warm body spooned against his back. It was something he hadn’t felt in years. And it felt so damned good that he buried his face in the pillow and let loose the tears he hadn’t been able to shed at the hospital.
George was gone. Truly gone.
And sweet, trusting Jeremy had stayed with him all night. He was aware now of Jeremy gently stroking his chest. It wasn’t sexual but soothing, and he savored the comforting embrace, reluctant to move from this warm and safe cocoon. The moment he stepped from this bed he would be on his own for the first time in nearly thirty years. It was terrifying.
As the tears dried on his face, Erik fully registered the press of young, nubile body against his back, the sweet-sour morning smell of another person, and arousal stirred in his groin.
Jeremy’s lips grazed his bare shoulder, letting Erik know he was awake. “Your phone kept ringing last night. Your voicemail will be full.”
“You didn’t need to stay,” he said without turning his head.
“I know. But I thought you could use the company.”
“I’m glad you did.”
Jeremy gave him a tight squeeze and snuggled closer. “Think I got the better end of the deal.”
Erik felt the unmistakable nudge of a hard cock against his ass. The need to be filled was so strong it made him shiver. Guilt and lust churned within him. He eased his hips away before he was tempted to do something he’d regret later.
“Sorry,” Jeremy whispered. “I can’t help that.”
Erik swallowed. “No worries.” The guilt ate at him; here he was lying in bed with a young man not twenty-four hours after George died. The worst part was admitting how much he liked it. He didn’t want Jeremy to go. But he should get up. He had a 9:30 a.m. appointment and calls to make.
“Are you going to be okay?”
Okay . What a word to describe his life without George. “I’ll have to be, won’t I?” Erik was grateful Jeremy didn’t try to offer him platitudes about it getting better. He knew it would eventually, one day, but right now he didn’t want to hear that. “You know what the truly horrible thing is? I’m relieved in a way,” he admitted roughly. “Not just for him. For me too. I’m a monster.”
“No, you’re not.”
Erik patted the arm Jeremy had draped over his waist. “ Thank you. You’re a sweet kid to take care of an old guy like me.”
“That’s not why I’m here.”
He couldn’t stop the leap of his heart that time. For some reason Jeremy had developed a crush on him and it both thrilled and horrified him at the same time. “I know.” He sighed. He rolled to his back so he could look at Jeremy’s
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