Touch Me Once

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Authors: Anne Kyle
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big accounting firm in Columbia. I told him that I had never heard of it. He said that there’s no reason that I should, since their clients were very wealthy and liked to keep a low profile.
    He mentioned some of the companies that they represented , and I was impressed. He gave me the names of some big shots in the state and some celebrities that used their services. I was intrigued, to say the least. I still didn’t know where this was going. I thought that maybe they had an intern position or something of that nature that I could apply for.
    Good old Burt told me how impressed he was with my grades. He said that my professors couldn’t say enough good things about me, and they all thought that I had quite a promising future. He asked me if I would be interested in being an associate at the firm.
    I didn’t ha ve to pretend to be surprised—I was shocked at this great news. It’s the kind of opportunity you only read about other people getting. It would mean that I wouldn’t have to pound the pavement or sit in a room with ten other people hoping my interview went better than theirs. I thought that it was too good to be true. Turns out I was right.
    Burt said that as far as he—and he spoke for the firm—was concerned the meeting constituted my formal interview. He asked me if I was interested, and without hesitation, I said I was more than interested. So, with me saying yes and a handshake, I got my first real job.
    My parents were thrilled, to say the least. And I’ll admit I was pretty proud of myself. I was going to be an accountant. I know it sounds funny to hear, but it was all I had wanted all through school, and it was happening. When I found out what the starting salary was, I almost swallowed my tongue. I could pay off my student loans twice as fast as I thought I’d be able to. I could afford a decent apartment. It really was a dream come true.
    I moved to Columbia, found a place to live , and one month after I graduated, I reported to work. I got the hang of things pretty quickly. It was harder than I thought it was going to be, but I put in the hours and worked hard. I was happy.”
    I looked over at Alex and asked, “Is this boring? I’m not sure any of this is coming out right.”
    He took my hand and said, “Not at all. I love finding out more about you. Don’t stop now.”
    “Two and a half years go by and I’m doing great. In addition to my salary, I get some nice bonuses, and I’m actually saving money. Not bad for a twenty-four year old at her first job. I’m given more important accounts, and in all of my performance reviews, I’m rated at the highest level. I deal well with the other people in the office, and they seem to like me.
    Burt takes me under his wing and introduces me to the firm’s most important clients. There are expensive dinners, and I get to attend some lavish parties. I rub elbows with politicians and influential businesspeople. Things could not be going any better.
    One day , I’m going through one of our bigger client’s holdings, and I look at some of the drafts going into the firm’s account. I see something strange in some of the transfers, so I check it again, and there seems to be money missing. It’s not a large amount and would have been easy to miss with all of the funds that get moved around on a daily basis. I review one year back and find the same thing. I go back two years, and there are the same discrepancies. I look three years back and don’t find anything. I go over the past two years again and come up with the same numbers.
    I gather all of my findings together and take them to Burt Goodman himself. I tell him that I suspect that someone in the firm is embezzling money. I expected him to be shocked and outraged. He just sat there peacefully and asked me if I have any proof, and if so, what kind.
    I’m a little taken aback by his nonchalance, so I start showing him what I’ve found. About a third of the way through, he stops me and says

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