Read Online To the Sea (Follow your Bliss) by Deirdre Riordan Hall - Free Book Online

his
commitment to his job, which I took to mean his commitment to our financial
future. Moving to Newton, I thought was us settling down, someday having a
family together, but it was so he could use the condo and wouldn’t have to get
a room at a hotel. I bet the reason we stopped going out into the city together
was so we wouldn’t run into any of the women he dated.”
    On
the other side of the car’s windshield, pedestrians shuffled by on the
sidewalk, going shopping or nabbing street food, oblivious to the fact that
Kira’s entire world continued to painfully and slowly fall to pieces before her
eyes. All she could do was watch it happen. No amount of planning, organizing,
or her usual approach to problems would fix it. But deep down, she hoped to
find something redemptive in the ruins. She wanted to find herself there, but
feared, as the sun, filmed in clouds, dipped behind a tall stone building,
she’d only find more sorrow.
    “And
the rowing trips, the surf-trips, the travel for work, how do I know what was
true and what wasn’t? How could he? And he had the audacity to say ‘married’ on
his dating profile. What kind of scum—”
     “It
was a game to them. Nothing more. A big boy’s game of how many women they could
have sex with, without the grown-ups finding out. I’m so sorry you had a role
in it. I never imagined they were that awful.”
    Kira
simmered, replaying promises Jeremy had made, excuses he’d given, and nights
spent alone.
    “It’s
okay to be angry.”
    “Damn
right. But the thing is, part of me says I really loved him. That I still love
him. I can’t explain it, but there was the Jeremy I thought I knew and loved.
Or maybe I just made up a version of him to match nicely with my perfectly
planned life.” Kira looked desperately at Nicole.
    “I
think you’re getting somewhere,” Nicole said softly.
    “It’s
all so confusing now. Becoming a widow in my twenties, at least before my pain
was normal, expected. This new information adds another element. I haven’t
quite wrapped my head around how I feel. How can a person feel angry, sad,
frustrated, despair, lonely, and broken all at the same time?”
    Sudden
fear flashed in Kira’s mind. She squirmed in her seat. “I should be tested,”
she said. “We weren’t intimate much, but still.”
    “I
know a clinic that’ll take you right away. My cousin, well, anyway, long
story.”
    “Yeah.”
The gravity of it all hushed Kira.
    Later,
as they left the spotless clinic housed in a non-descript brick building, Kira
plummeted even further.
    “We
still have some time before enacting plan alpha. I’m starved, but first, why
don’t you and I do some retail therapy?”
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

 
    Chapter Eight
     
    Nicole
headed up Mass Ave and into Cambridge. The two friends strolled through the
glass doors at Saks, Kira leaving her jumbled emotions at the entrance. The
cloudy, grey skies outside contrasted with the brightly colored fabrics and
short hemlines on display.
    “How
about a cruise?” Nicole suggested.
    “A
cruise?”
    “You
aren’t going to Paris, are you?” she asked.
    Kira
shook her head.
    “I
think that ship has sailed.”
    Nicole
laughed. “You have the vacation time still, right?”
    “If,
I still have a job,” Kira said, admiring a teal bag.
    “You
do, and you’re returning to it in a couple days. You may have been wrong about
Jeremy, but you’re good at your job.”
    Going
to the office the next day felt like a manned mission to mars; as impossible as
the events, that had just unfolded in Kira’s life, would have sounded if
someone predicted them months earlier.
    “Think
about it. Let’s get you some fun clothes, you know, just in case.”
    Kira
consented, letting Nicole sweep her into the rush of retail therapy.
    By
the time they were done, Nicole had talked Kira into three bags of clothing, a
bikini, short-shorts, shoes—including a daring pair of Lanvin open-toed