Read Online To the Max by Elle Aycart - Free Book Online

“Really? Because I can’t speak for the historical inconsistencies. I didn’t notice them, but the hero’s two-foot-long…manhood disturbed the hell out of me.”
    The giggles spread all over the reading room. None of them were above calling it a dick or more creative names—all the other meetings had proved it—but that was what the virginal heroine of this particular book loved to call it. Ad nauseam.
    “Didn’t know those existed. I feel cheated,” Angie continued. “And scared.”
    “You’re a shrink,” Rachel told her. “You have the tools to get over it faster than the rest of us.”
    Well, if it was a question of tools, then Rachel, with the monster trucks she worked on in her garage, was ahead of all of them.
    “I don’t recall the book giving an exact measurement,” Penny chimed in. “Then again, I was blushing for half the book. I might have missed it.”
    “Well, let’s see. The thing reached his belly button and then some.” Angie started gesturing. “Give or take, two feet. No wonder Lady Margaret tried to run away from him. I might have too.”
    Holly shook her head, chuckling. “To be two feet long, it should reach his nipples. And be able to flick them.”
    “Ha! Wouldn’t be that a nifty trick. Look what I can do, my lady: flick my own beams ,” Angie said, trying to imitate the Scottish brogue.
    “ Beams would have been a huge historical inaccuracy,” Lucy murmured.
    Everyone broke into laughter.
    “Talk all you want, but I was hooked from the get-go,” Holly said. “All that ‘aye, lass,’ ‘nay, lass.’ Man, so sexy. I adore authoritarian men. I know the idea here is to read, but I might get the audiobook. From now on, doing laundry and housework is going to be a whole new ball game. I would take it to the office, but the sheriff might suspect something if I start panting.”
    For what it was worth, Annie totally agreed. All that barbaric, barely repressed strength and the surprising tenderness that lay hidden inside enthralled her. Nothing like the soft-mannered, white-collar guys she always went out with.
    Several women nodded, including Rachel. “I’m in. I get so sweaty at work, no one would notice the difference.”
    “What I wouldn’t give for my own Highlander,” Holly continued. “I loved the scene when he wanted to show his displeasure with Lady Margaret for not obeying him and decided to ignore her. She started taking off all those English, ladylike clothes, standing in front of him in her frilly underwear, and he succumbed. Mighty, badass hero, and he fell to his knees.”
    Yep. Mighty badass hero falling to his knees had given Annie goose bumps all over.
    “Lingerie always works,” Angie agreed. “Even the English, prudish kind. And I bet they were short of that in the Highlands.”
    Penny shook her head. “Lingerie doesn’t always work. Believe me.”
    Everyone turned to her. “What do you mean?”
    Penny sighed. “Ten years ago, I tried the sexy lingerie trick with my late husband. We’d been married twenty years, and things had slowed down a lot, specially since he’d grown more boobs than me. Anyhow, I bought skintight black latex pants, a suggestive bustier with a see-through shawl, and a cute black mask—you know, to spice things up. When Joe came home from work, he took a look at me and said, ‘Yo, Batman, what’s for dinner?’”
    There was a second of silence, and then the whole room erupted in laughter.
    Penny nodded, resigned. “I’m serious. The girlfriend who suggested I try lingerie said her husband ravished her on the spot. Against the wall where he saw her. Mine went straight to sit on the couch. I never tried lingerie again.”
    “Maybe you should have gone for some role-playing,” Christy suggested.
    Penny lifted her eyebrow. “Meaning me Batman, he Boy Wonder?”
    “Or he could have been the Joker,” Angie offered.
    “Oh, that he was, believe me,” Penny answered with a pout.
    Annie was laughing so hard her sides