Read Online To Say Goodbye by Lindsay Detwiler - Free Book Online Page B

pulled back into a disheveled ponytail. Her mascara was smudged, clearly hinting at the tears she’d been shedding. She wore loose sweatpants and a tank top. An unbuttoned flannel shirt loosely draped over her.
    She looked the part of a saddened widow on the birthday of her late husband.
    “Hey,” she said, looking both surprised and relieved to see him.
    “Hey. I don’t want to intrude. I just thought today might be rough.”
    She silently nodded, stepping back and gesturing him in.
    “Am I interrupting?”
    “No. My parents were here, but I sent them home. I didn’t want to see anyone.”
    His stomach fell. This was exactly what he was afraid of. “Listen, I can go. I just wanted to bring you dinner in case you were hungry.”
    She studied him, her blue eyes sparkling in the light of the kitchen. She paused, her face softening. She seemed to be thinking something.
    Finally, after a long pause, she simply said, “Stay.”
    He nodded, ambling to the island in the kitchen with the paper sack. “I brought some hoagies from Wayne’s Place down the street. Their food is good.”
    “It’s the best. Tim loved that place.”
    “Sorry.” Great. He was screwing everything up. He was making everything worse.
    She shook her head, reminiscing. “No. I think it’s good.”
    He sat down on a stool at the island, unfolding napkins and pulling out the sandwiches. She sat beside him, hugging one knee to her chest, looking at the food, looking at him.
    “Thanks for coming.”
    “Why don’t you eat something?”
    “Not hungry.”
    “Me neither. But these subs are seriously awesome. You’re not going to waste it, are you? That’s obviously a sin.”
    She shrugged. “Maybe just a few bites.”
    “Deal.”
    He handed her the wrapped sandwich, and she methodically, carefully unwrapped it. She took a bite, chewing slowly.
    “God, that’s good,” she admitted, taking another bite.
    “Damn right. Best in the state.”
    They chewed in silence, two lonely people sitting beside each other, alone in their worlds, in their problems. It felt weird being here, being in the home Tim once shared with her, a home symbolic of a life Jackson no longer recognized.
    It felt right too. It felt, in a strange way, as if he could help Tim by helping her. He could do right by him by seeing to it Sophia didn’t fall completely apart.
    “Tough day?” he asked, knowing the answer.
    “One of the worst so far. I didn’t think it would hit me like this.”
    “The firsts are always the worst. It gets easier.”
    “Does it? Because right now, I don’t believe it.”
    He set his sandwich down. “It never gets easy . It just gets easier. The suffocating stillness, the pain in your chest, it gets bearable. You’ll see.”
    She nodded, accepting his words. “Jackson?”
    “Yeah?”
    “Tell me a story about him. Tell me something about when you two were young.”
    He paused, wiping his face with a napkin. “Are you sure?”
    “Positive. I think that’s what’s killing me the most. It’s like people are afraid to mention him, you know? His parents, my parents, everyone. Everyone’s afraid to bring him up. It’s like they think I’ve forgotten. I want to hear about him. I want to talk about him. I miss him. It’s bad enough he’s dead. And now everyone is tiptoeing around even the mention of him like he didn’t even exist.”
    He felt the tension ease. He was relieved to be given permission to talk about Tim because that was exactly what he needed, too.
    “How about I tell you about the day he almost drowned?”
    “Well that seems a bit melancholy, huh?” She grinned.
    “You said you didn’t want people censoring themselves.”
    “Go on.”
    “We were eight. I’d known Tim for about a year at this point. He was always the sensible one. I, as you probably have figured out, was a bit of the rash one. Always getting us into trouble, always coming up with crazy schemes. Well, it was his birthday, and I hadn’t had a chance to