and closed the door behind her.
Nicole gripped the sink harder, staring into the mirror. She deserved friends and love. She went through the affirmation routine she relied on for relief. She smiled at the mirror, and the face smiling back at her reminded her that there was at least one person in the world who liked her. She could trust herself.
She went to her room, pulled open her drawers, and searched for an outfit. She knew it was weird to ask Melanie to go outside, but she didn’t change in front of anyone, girl or not. Girls could easily end up as weird as men did, although they didn’t seem as naturally inclined to do so.
At times, she wondered what made her stepdad like he was. What created a person like that, or what had happened to him to make him like that? Was a person born to hurt others, or hurt until that’s all they knew to do? At least in her, that impulse had never come to fruition. Her experience with pain made her so loath to inflict it on others. She had a hard time even allowing pain for others, acknowledging that sometimes it was necessary and okay, because for her it had been overwhelming, crushing.
She pulled on clothing, not caring much what it looked like, and went to open the door for Melanie. Melanie was there waiting, and grabbed Nicole into a hug. Nicole winced, then locked the piece of her up that was screaming, and returned the hug. She tried to soothe Melanie, who looked like she was blaming herself for Nicole’s depressive descent. No. Just talking about makeup. Talking about shrinks. Talking about anything that reminded her of how she was different.
Nicole knew there had to be many like her, many abused but not lucky enough to have an aunt that would rescue them and a cousin like Melanie. She hoped her books gave them happiness that wasn’t threatening.
“Are you sure you still want to go out tonight?” Melanie asked, still holding on.
“Sure,” Nicole pulled back. “I’m a little off tonight, but I can be a little off out at a club as well as I can be a little off at home.” She gave Melanie a nudge towards her suitcase so she would get dressed. “Besides, it might make me feel better.”
While Melanie picked out clothes, Nicole checked her hair in the mirror. Sean would be at the club. So much better than a letter or an email. She could sit with him and remember how much they had cared for each other back then. She could remember one person that never wanted to hurt her, and she could live in the hope that this adult Sean was just here to protect her, and not for any other reason.
Most of all, she could go out and be with friends, people who made the darkness seem darker but invited her into the light.
Chapter Five
T here was a way of seeing a woman that made a man feel like he’s more than he was, and that’s how Sean saw Nicole.
He enjoyed watching her with her cousin, a younger woman, with similar skin to Nicole, if a bit darker. The two were clearly related, with the same beautiful curly hair, dark skin, and big smiles. A rare amount of eye makeup lined her eyes, setting off the sparkle that always seemed to jump from them. Nicole’s bone structure was a little different than Melanie’s, more striking, maybe because she was in her mid-twenties while Melanie was only eighteen.
Nicole was being warm and friendly tonight, probably because she was with Melanie who was so helpful and supportive and curious about everything.
The two sat close, Justin on one side, Jason on the other. Sean sat on a neighboring couch, watching them play pool with the other hosts and feeling jealous.
“Ha!” Melanie said, sinking a ball. “Sorry, Justin.”
“No!” Justin laughed and made an exaggerated pose of despair. “How could you Melanie! I thought you loved me!”
“You’re such a cheese ball, Justin.”
“That’s right,” he said, looking at the table for his next move. “Cut me up and serve me with crackers. I’m a total cheese ball.”
The group laughed,
Nicole gripped the sink harder, staring into the mirror. She deserved friends and love. She went through the affirmation routine she relied on for relief. She smiled at the mirror, and the face smiling back at her reminded her that there was at least one person in the world who liked her. She could trust herself.
She went to her room, pulled open her drawers, and searched for an outfit. She knew it was weird to ask Melanie to go outside, but she didn’t change in front of anyone, girl or not. Girls could easily end up as weird as men did, although they didn’t seem as naturally inclined to do so.
At times, she wondered what made her stepdad like he was. What created a person like that, or what had happened to him to make him like that? Was a person born to hurt others, or hurt until that’s all they knew to do? At least in her, that impulse had never come to fruition. Her experience with pain made her so loath to inflict it on others. She had a hard time even allowing pain for others, acknowledging that sometimes it was necessary and okay, because for her it had been overwhelming, crushing.
She pulled on clothing, not caring much what it looked like, and went to open the door for Melanie. Melanie was there waiting, and grabbed Nicole into a hug. Nicole winced, then locked the piece of her up that was screaming, and returned the hug. She tried to soothe Melanie, who looked like she was blaming herself for Nicole’s depressive descent. No. Just talking about makeup. Talking about shrinks. Talking about anything that reminded her of how she was different.
Nicole knew there had to be many like her, many abused but not lucky enough to have an aunt that would rescue them and a cousin like Melanie. She hoped her books gave them happiness that wasn’t threatening.
“Are you sure you still want to go out tonight?” Melanie asked, still holding on.
“Sure,” Nicole pulled back. “I’m a little off tonight, but I can be a little off out at a club as well as I can be a little off at home.” She gave Melanie a nudge towards her suitcase so she would get dressed. “Besides, it might make me feel better.”
While Melanie picked out clothes, Nicole checked her hair in the mirror. Sean would be at the club. So much better than a letter or an email. She could sit with him and remember how much they had cared for each other back then. She could remember one person that never wanted to hurt her, and she could live in the hope that this adult Sean was just here to protect her, and not for any other reason.
Most of all, she could go out and be with friends, people who made the darkness seem darker but invited her into the light.
Chapter Five
T here was a way of seeing a woman that made a man feel like he’s more than he was, and that’s how Sean saw Nicole.
He enjoyed watching her with her cousin, a younger woman, with similar skin to Nicole, if a bit darker. The two were clearly related, with the same beautiful curly hair, dark skin, and big smiles. A rare amount of eye makeup lined her eyes, setting off the sparkle that always seemed to jump from them. Nicole’s bone structure was a little different than Melanie’s, more striking, maybe because she was in her mid-twenties while Melanie was only eighteen.
Nicole was being warm and friendly tonight, probably because she was with Melanie who was so helpful and supportive and curious about everything.
The two sat close, Justin on one side, Jason on the other. Sean sat on a neighboring couch, watching them play pool with the other hosts and feeling jealous.
“Ha!” Melanie said, sinking a ball. “Sorry, Justin.”
“No!” Justin laughed and made an exaggerated pose of despair. “How could you Melanie! I thought you loved me!”
“You’re such a cheese ball, Justin.”
“That’s right,” he said, looking at the table for his next move. “Cut me up and serve me with crackers. I’m a total cheese ball.”
The group laughed,
Similar Books
