agreed. âThe grazing is better at Shechem, and it will be good for the flocks. Be careful.â
Levi did not even say good-bye but turned on his heel and walked out. Jacob bowed his head, knowing that things were completely out of his control. He tried to pray but could not. He slept a troubled sleep, for he could not help thinking of his dream in which he had held a knife over Joseph. It was not difficult to interpret such a dream, and he had struggled inwardly, trying to give up Joseph to God as Abraham had given up his son Isaac. He knew, however, that he was weaker than Abraham and could not find the faith to do it. He had wept over this silently in the darkness of his tent, but somehow he felt better that the ten would now be absent. âAt least,â he whispered to himself, âthey canât harm their brother as long as theyâre in Shechem.â
****
Since the brothers had left, the weather had grown hotter, and the earth had become parched and dry. Jacobâs spirit was no better. The heat was oppressive, and he was troubled by his own inadequacies. He knew he should give Joseph and Benjamin up to God, but they were all he had left of Rachel. No matter what he said to God in his prayers, in the secret chambers of his heart, he knew he would give up the ten in order to save the two.
The days passed, and Jacobâs emotional struggles did not lessen. It affected his health to the point where he was now in poor condition. Tamar, now married to Er, often brought him tasty food and wanted to listen to his stories. A few times Jacob asked her about her marriage, but she avoided speaking about her husbandâs behavior. It was common knowledge that Er was a violent man and beat Tamar and that he was unfaithful to her, but she refused to complain.
As for Jacobâs problems with his sons, it was not that he did not love his ten sons. He saw their shortcomings, but his own history was unsavory enough that he could forgive them.
There were times when Jacob feared for his own sanity, and he was often plagued by the frightening thought, Iâm possessed by some evil spirit that makes me disobey my God . Like all of his people he had a deep fear of madness and would run quicker from an insane person than he would from a bear or a lion. Day after day he struggled, and slowly he began to be filled with a desire to bring peace to his family.
âIâve got to make my ten sons understand that I love them,â he said to himself, but could think of no way to do this. Finally he began to formulate a plan that perhaps Joseph was the key to bringing peace to Jacobâs heart and pacifying his brothers.
He called Joseph to his tent, and when the young man was inside, Jacob said, âSit down, my child.â
âYes, Father. What is it?â
âI am very worried about this problem you have with your brothers.â
âSo am I, Father. It grieves me that they do not love me.â
Jacob resisted the impulse to deliver a sharp and bitter sermon about how Joseph had brought his brothersâ anger on himself. He did not say a word about this, however, but spoke of his own responsibilities. âI have twelve sons,â he said, âand I have spoiled you.â
âNot so, Father,â Joseph protested.
âYou know it is true, Joseph. Do not pretend.â
Jacobâs eyes grew flinty, and Joseph could not bear the sight of them, so he dropped his head. His father had a strength that he himself lacked. âI am sorry, Father.â
âI hope you are, for I have decided to send you to your brothers.â
A flare of joy leaped into Josephâs breast, though he kept it carefully hidden. He had never been sent out alone on such a journey, and excitement burned in his spirit. âTo go see my brothers?â
âYes. I have decided you are to take them some good provisions, but mainly I want you to use the time to make peace with your
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