some point he was going to have to deal with all that, just as I had to deal with being kidnapped by a psychopath a year ago. The difference was that my horror was over except for the fallout, and Ian’s was a constant in his life.
“So,” I said, clearing my throat, “what time is the funeral tomorrow?”
“Eleven.”
“I’m really sorry about your friend.”
“We weren’t friends,” he corrected me, finally turning from the window. “But he was in my old unit, so I gotta go.”
“Of course.”
“Is this gonna be a thing?”
“What?”
“Me going?”
“No.”
“You’re lying.”
I had to think. “Not—it’s both, right?”
“Explain.”
I shrugged. “It’s your service, and I get that it’s what you feel you need to do, but I think, why are you still doing this? When will it be enough?”
He exhaled sharply. “You don’t understand.”
“Because I’ve never been in the military, I know. You say that all the time. But seriously, why do you have to go? Why does it have to be you?”
“What if something happens to my unit because I’m not there?”
“You’re saying you’re the only person who can do your job?”
“I’m saying I do my job really well, and there aren’t a lot of guys with my training or my experience, so yeah, I’m the most qualified.”
“So there’s nobody else with your skill set.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying, of the guys out there, I’m one of the best.”
“Which I don’t doubt in the least, but this is something you choose to do.”
“Yeah.”
“So I’m asking, when will it be enough? When will you stop?”
He was silent a moment. “I’ll stop when they don’t need me anymore.”
“Which is never,” I mumbled. “Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“Okay, I have my answer.”
“Which means what?”
“It means I know what I’m in for then.”
We were silent until I pulled up on our street in Lincoln Park and slid in behind a sleek little silver Saab.
Getting out, I grabbed the umbrella behind the seat and went to dart around the side to cover Ian, but he threw open the door, yanked his now soggy duffel from the bed of the truck, and started charging down the sidewalk toward home.
Locking the vehicle with the remote, I jogged after him, but when I tried to cover his head, he batted the umbrella away.
“Why’re you being an ass now?” I shouted over the sound of the driving rain.
He rounded on me. “If it’s not worth it, we should just call it quits already,” he barked.
I was stunned… for a second. And then I felt the anger wash through me, over me, spread to my tightening gut and up into my throat I could barely get sound out of.
“If you want out, be out,” he said flippantly. “But the bitching about me serving my country is killing me.”
The serving his country part was a nice dig.
“Did you hear me?” he asked curtly.
“I did,” I replied, meeting his gaze. “And yeah, I’m out.”
His eyes went wide as I pivoted and stalked down the street.
Chickie met me at the front door, but instead of petting him, I wrenched him outside by his collar and pointed him down the street.
“Look, it’s Daddy,” I choked out and watched as the werewolf flew down the stoop, heading for Ian.
Slamming the door shut behind me, I turned on the lights, hurled the umbrella into the stand, kicked off my sneakers, and headed upstairs. I had my coat hung up and everything that was wet off my body when I heard the front door bang shut.
“The fuck are you doing?” he roared up at me.
Standing beside the railing on the loft, staring down into the living room at him, I realized he was shaking. Hard to tell if he was cold or mad, but I was guessing a little of both.
“You—” I started but stopped, unable, even in the midst of a crisis, not to smile.
“The hell are… you… oh, for fuck’s sake.”
Chickie.
He was so happy to see Ian, he was jumping up and down beside him. He wasn’t touching
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