divorce papers, and a mostly empty house.â She felt gutted, her heartripped out, no spirit left in her. âIâm just so sad all the time,â she sobbed again.
âAh, but youâve got the Lexus!â Ellen grinned at her friend in an attempt to lighten the moment.
âAnd the boys adore you, and John will probably never move out of home,â Izzy said.
Veronica smiled at the thought of the baby of the family living in the huge house with her. âJohn is a good boy. I donât want him to move out. I probably wouldnât eat much if I didnât have to cook for him and his mates.â Veronica finally smiled, realising the joy being a mum brought her, and it spurred her to get back to the topic of Xantheâs IVF commitment.
âEnough of my misery,â she said, wiping her nose, âletâs talk about beautiful things like babies, because they can turn out to be like John. And my kids are my greatest achievement in life.â She smiled again, feeling that she had done at least one useful thing to date.
Ellen moved some of the plates and empty coffee cups to the table next to them, looking as if her mind was miles away.
âYouâve been very quiet this morning, Isobel,â Nadine said to her sister-in-law in a somewhat serious voice.
Only Izzyâs mother called her Isobel and that was reserved for when she was in trouble as a child and teenager. Izzy started tearing a serviette into tiny pieces.
âWhat is it?â Nadine asked, concern in her voice. âDonât make me go home and get Richard to call his little sister for a chat.â
Oh God, that was the last thing that Izzy wanted. She hadnât even thought about how her brother might react.His little sister pregnant to someone heâd never even met. Heâd never liked any bloke sheâd introduced him to in the past and that was usually a nothing situation. Telling him about the baby would almost be worse than telling her mother. She didnât want to tell either of them, and was only telling the girls because she was desperate. Keeping it to herself as she experienced a whole range of body changes was sending her quietly insane.
âIzzy,â Ellen said firmly, knowing her friend well enough to see something was wrong.
Izzy dropped the serviette on the table as a wave of nausea swept across her. It was the sickest sheâd felt since watching the distinct pink stripe appear on the pregnancy test stick. She closed her eyes and thought back to the warm Wednesday morning when sheâd sat with the bathroom door open in her flat, waiting, waiting, waiting. Squatting over the toilet trying to pee on the stick had been awkward, but it was nothing compared to how awkward she felt when sheâd been bluntly told three times, by three different sticks, that she was pregnant. Tears of shock had fallen that morning, but she hadnât cried since. She blew air out her mouth again as she noticed her tiddas glaring at her with anticipation.
âWhatâs wrong?â Xanthe asked.
Izzy took a deep breath and struggled to look Xanthe in the eye; she knew what she was about to say was going to hit her tidda like a ton of pregnancy tests, none of them with pink stripes. âI didnât know we were going to be talking about all this stuff today, important stuff, I mean your IVF plans, Xanthe.â She turned to Veronica. âOr your sense of loss, Vee.â
Veronica felt tears well again as Izzy looked at her with sympathy in her eyes.
âIâm sorry, really Iâm sorry itâs me and not you,â she said directly to Xanthe.
âSorry for what? Whatâs you and not me?â Xanthe asked, articulating everyoneâs confusion.
âItâs just . . .â Izzy was stalling. The inevitable announcement would upset one of the people she loved most in the world.
âWhat?â Xantheâs mind was racing. What could her tidda
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