discreet.
Jeff sat, bringing his heat with him. Lack of sleep had chilled her to the bone, and she wanted to lay her head on his shoulder and beg him to hold her.
“I came back,” he said.
Noise rushed in her ears, like wind on a ski slope or a train passing through a valley. She had to lean her hot cheek against her cool hand to collect herself. This was what she had wanted, but the reality of it was overwhelming. “Yeah.” It was the best she could manage.
He ran both hands through his hair, standing it on end. “I’ve been a crazy idiot,” he said, a pileup of words. “I’ve done everything wrong. I’ve put the job first and you last and— Look. I know I don’t deserve a third chance. Hell, I probably didn’t deserve a second chance.”
Slowly, dumbly, she was making sense out of the shock of the last few minutes. He had come back. He was here.
“I came back because I need you to give me another chance. When I climbed on this train two days ago, I was going nowhere. In a big fat fucking hurry. And then I sat down next to you and—and all of a sudden, even though I was riding in circles, everything made so much sense.”
He reached out and took her hand, his fingertips painting teasing lines on her palm. Waking her up out of her stupor. “These last few days, riding the train with you, I’ve been alive. I’ve been grateful. I’ve laughed more and cared more, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like I was moving forward, instead of being carried backward, away from some goal I can’t see. And I realized: This is my reason for being. This is what I want to do. I want to be with you. Really be with you.”
The frozen parts of her were thawing, and the import of his words, not only their literal meaning, was starting to penetrate her core.
“I’m going to take some time off. When I get back, we’re going to hire a management team at Streamline. The bulk of the work, the worst of the every day—it won’t be my problem anymore. There will be slack. I’ll be able to walk away. Ignore the phone.”
She felt a flash of elation and then a suffocating wash of terror, like someone had dumped cold water over her. Would he be able to walk away? Could he ignore the phone? What if she wasn’t enough for him and, having given part of Streamline away, he resented the hell out of her?
“I love you, Amy. I know it isn’t easy for you, but I really, really need you to give me another chance. I don’t know what number we’re on now, maybe it’s way more than three, but whatever it is, I need you to give me one.”
There were tears in her eyes, emotion choking her, as she said, “I don’t want you to give up Streamline. You love that company—”
“No. I love you. And I’m not giving it up. I’m pruning it back, bringing it in line. I’m making it what it should be—a job, not the center of my universe. And—” He took a deep breath and squeezed her hand. “I’m asking you to sacrifice too. Because believe me, I know what it’s like to have a job that’s really important to you. I know how much courage it must have taken you to come out here, and I want you to know, I’m not telling you, I’m asking you—like really asking —how you’d feel about—”
She’d never heard him that hesitant. A tiny smile bloomed in her chest, grew into a grin and a laugh of pleasure. “I’m coming home. I’d already made up my mind.”
She saw from the widening of his eyes that he hadn’t known, hadn’t been at all sure of his reception. He looked past her for a moment, out the window, and she realized he was trying to steady himself, to collect himself. Her Jeff, her bossy medieval guy, hadn’t been sure.
“We could get on one of those cross-country trains.” Strength gathered in his voice. “We could do some leisurely exploring. I don’t want this to end yet.” He gestured around them, and she knew he meant more than just the train ride. He meant the small
Jeff sat, bringing his heat with him. Lack of sleep had chilled her to the bone, and she wanted to lay her head on his shoulder and beg him to hold her.
“I came back,” he said.
Noise rushed in her ears, like wind on a ski slope or a train passing through a valley. She had to lean her hot cheek against her cool hand to collect herself. This was what she had wanted, but the reality of it was overwhelming. “Yeah.” It was the best she could manage.
He ran both hands through his hair, standing it on end. “I’ve been a crazy idiot,” he said, a pileup of words. “I’ve done everything wrong. I’ve put the job first and you last and— Look. I know I don’t deserve a third chance. Hell, I probably didn’t deserve a second chance.”
Slowly, dumbly, she was making sense out of the shock of the last few minutes. He had come back. He was here.
“I came back because I need you to give me another chance. When I climbed on this train two days ago, I was going nowhere. In a big fat fucking hurry. And then I sat down next to you and—and all of a sudden, even though I was riding in circles, everything made so much sense.”
He reached out and took her hand, his fingertips painting teasing lines on her palm. Waking her up out of her stupor. “These last few days, riding the train with you, I’ve been alive. I’ve been grateful. I’ve laughed more and cared more, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like I was moving forward, instead of being carried backward, away from some goal I can’t see. And I realized: This is my reason for being. This is what I want to do. I want to be with you. Really be with you.”
The frozen parts of her were thawing, and the import of his words, not only their literal meaning, was starting to penetrate her core.
“I’m going to take some time off. When I get back, we’re going to hire a management team at Streamline. The bulk of the work, the worst of the every day—it won’t be my problem anymore. There will be slack. I’ll be able to walk away. Ignore the phone.”
She felt a flash of elation and then a suffocating wash of terror, like someone had dumped cold water over her. Would he be able to walk away? Could he ignore the phone? What if she wasn’t enough for him and, having given part of Streamline away, he resented the hell out of her?
“I love you, Amy. I know it isn’t easy for you, but I really, really need you to give me another chance. I don’t know what number we’re on now, maybe it’s way more than three, but whatever it is, I need you to give me one.”
There were tears in her eyes, emotion choking her, as she said, “I don’t want you to give up Streamline. You love that company—”
“No. I love you. And I’m not giving it up. I’m pruning it back, bringing it in line. I’m making it what it should be—a job, not the center of my universe. And—” He took a deep breath and squeezed her hand. “I’m asking you to sacrifice too. Because believe me, I know what it’s like to have a job that’s really important to you. I know how much courage it must have taken you to come out here, and I want you to know, I’m not telling you, I’m asking you—like really asking —how you’d feel about—”
She’d never heard him that hesitant. A tiny smile bloomed in her chest, grew into a grin and a laugh of pleasure. “I’m coming home. I’d already made up my mind.”
She saw from the widening of his eyes that he hadn’t known, hadn’t been at all sure of his reception. He looked past her for a moment, out the window, and she realized he was trying to steady himself, to collect himself. Her Jeff, her bossy medieval guy, hadn’t been sure.
“We could get on one of those cross-country trains.” Strength gathered in his voice. “We could do some leisurely exploring. I don’t want this to end yet.” He gestured around them, and she knew he meant more than just the train ride. He meant the small
Similar Books
