Read Online Three Major Plays by Lope de Vega, Gwynne Edwards - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Lope de Vega, Gwynne Edwards
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graduate,
Your blind as a bat, myopic;
Your cross-eyed man has just a squint,
215
And your totally lame's arthritic.
The couldn't-care-less are upright chaps,
The stupid are called clever;
A pig of a man's described as bold,
And a big mouth an entertainer.
220
A beady eye is said to be sharp,
Argumentative people try hard;
A silly ass is amusing,
And a chatterbox is a card.
A common upstart, oh, he's brave,
225
A coward lacks initiative;
Your hothead, well, he's really dashing,
And your dolt is someone well worth knowing.
If you're off your head, you're free as air,
If down in the dumps, just full of care;
230
If you're bald, you have authority,
-10-
If you're stupid, oh, so very witty.
Big feet are the sign of a solid man,
The pox is only a runny nose,
Arrogance is but reserve,
235
And a hunchback wears bad-fitting clothes.
This is why, you see, I call you ladies.
I shan't say more or I might go on
Forever.
LAURENCIA . That's city talk* when they want
To be polite. But take my word
240
For it, they use a different style
When they insult you.
FRONDOSO . How exactly?
LAURENCIA . Everything's just the opposite.
They call a serious man a bore,
You speak your mind and you are rash;
245
A thoughtful person's melancholic,
You criticize, and you are brash.
You give advice, it's pure cheek,
Be generous, you stick your nose in;
If you are just, you're seen as cruel,
250
Show mercy and you're just a weakling.
Be constant and they call you boring,
Polite and you're a flatterer;
Be kind and you're a hypocrite,
A Christian's someone seeking favour.
255
If you've got talent, that's just lucky,
You tell the truth, that's impudence;
Put up with things and you're a coward,
When things go wrong, it's your come-uppance.
A modest woman is a fool,
260
Pretty but chaste, she's into seduction;
If she's virtuous, she's. . . no, no,
That's it, end of demonstration!
MENGO . I swear you are a little devil.
BARRILDO . In the name of God, that wasn't bad!
265
-11-
MENGO . You must have been christened with something
Much saltier than water.*
LAURENCIA . Anyway,
What were you arguing about?
FRONDOSO . I'll tell you.
LAURENCIA . Right.
FRONDOSO . Pay attention.
LAURENCIA . You have it, for nothing. I'm all ears.
270
FRONDOSO . I put my faith in your judgement.
LAURENCIA . So what's the argument?
FRONDOSO . It's me
And BARRILDO against MENGO .
LAURENCIA . About what?
BARRILDO . Something that, though obviously true, he
Denies.
MENGO . Only because I know I'm right.
275
LAURENCIA . So what's he say?
BARRILDO . That love does not
Exist.
LAURENCIA . That's very sweeping.
BARRILDO . As well
As stupid. If love did not exist,
Neither would this world of ours.
MENGO . I'm no philosopher and, more's
280
The pity, I can't read. But if
The elements are always in
A state of war, and our bodies -- blood,
Phlegm, melancholy, choler* -- draw
Their sustenance from them -- where
285
Is love?
-12-
BARRILDO . In this world and the next,
My friend, there's perfect harmony.*
And harmony is love, since love's
Harmonious.
MENGO . Oh, I don't deny
That love is natural and has
290
Great power. It governs everything,
And everything we see it keeps
In balance. Nor have I ever said
That love does not exist in every man,
According to his humour, and that's
295
What helps him to survive. If someone aims
A punch at me, my hand protects
My face. If danger comes, my feet
Will help me to escape it; if something
Approaches my eyes, my lids close sharpish.
300
That's natural love.
PASCUALA . So what's the point
You want to make?
MENGO . That we love ourselves
And no one else.
PASCUALA . Excuse me, MENGO ,
But that's plain daft. The proof lies in
The fact that men and women love
305
Each other passionately, as does
An animal its mate.
MENGO . That's still
Self-love, not love. Tell me what love is.
LAURENCIA . A desire for beauty.
MENGO . And why
Does love desire it?
LAURENCIA . To enjoy it.
310
MENGO . Right. And doesn't it want that pleasure
Your blind as a bat, myopic;
Your cross-eyed man has just a squint,
215
And your totally lame's arthritic.
The couldn't-care-less are upright chaps,
The stupid are called clever;
A pig of a man's described as bold,
And a big mouth an entertainer.
220
A beady eye is said to be sharp,
Argumentative people try hard;
A silly ass is amusing,
And a chatterbox is a card.
A common upstart, oh, he's brave,
225
A coward lacks initiative;
Your hothead, well, he's really dashing,
And your dolt is someone well worth knowing.
If you're off your head, you're free as air,
If down in the dumps, just full of care;
230
If you're bald, you have authority,
-10-
If you're stupid, oh, so very witty.
Big feet are the sign of a solid man,
The pox is only a runny nose,
Arrogance is but reserve,
235
And a hunchback wears bad-fitting clothes.
This is why, you see, I call you ladies.
I shan't say more or I might go on
Forever.
LAURENCIA . That's city talk* when they want
To be polite. But take my word
240
For it, they use a different style
When they insult you.
FRONDOSO . How exactly?
LAURENCIA . Everything's just the opposite.
They call a serious man a bore,
You speak your mind and you are rash;
245
A thoughtful person's melancholic,
You criticize, and you are brash.
You give advice, it's pure cheek,
Be generous, you stick your nose in;
If you are just, you're seen as cruel,
250
Show mercy and you're just a weakling.
Be constant and they call you boring,
Polite and you're a flatterer;
Be kind and you're a hypocrite,
A Christian's someone seeking favour.
255
If you've got talent, that's just lucky,
You tell the truth, that's impudence;
Put up with things and you're a coward,
When things go wrong, it's your come-uppance.
A modest woman is a fool,
260
Pretty but chaste, she's into seduction;
If she's virtuous, she's. . . no, no,
That's it, end of demonstration!
MENGO . I swear you are a little devil.
BARRILDO . In the name of God, that wasn't bad!
265
-11-
MENGO . You must have been christened with something
Much saltier than water.*
LAURENCIA . Anyway,
What were you arguing about?
FRONDOSO . I'll tell you.
LAURENCIA . Right.
FRONDOSO . Pay attention.
LAURENCIA . You have it, for nothing. I'm all ears.
270
FRONDOSO . I put my faith in your judgement.
LAURENCIA . So what's the argument?
FRONDOSO . It's me
And BARRILDO against MENGO .
LAURENCIA . About what?
BARRILDO . Something that, though obviously true, he
Denies.
MENGO . Only because I know I'm right.
275
LAURENCIA . So what's he say?
BARRILDO . That love does not
Exist.
LAURENCIA . That's very sweeping.
BARRILDO . As well
As stupid. If love did not exist,
Neither would this world of ours.
MENGO . I'm no philosopher and, more's
280
The pity, I can't read. But if
The elements are always in
A state of war, and our bodies -- blood,
Phlegm, melancholy, choler* -- draw
Their sustenance from them -- where
285
Is love?
-12-
BARRILDO . In this world and the next,
My friend, there's perfect harmony.*
And harmony is love, since love's
Harmonious.
MENGO . Oh, I don't deny
That love is natural and has
290
Great power. It governs everything,
And everything we see it keeps
In balance. Nor have I ever said
That love does not exist in every man,
According to his humour, and that's
295
What helps him to survive. If someone aims
A punch at me, my hand protects
My face. If danger comes, my feet
Will help me to escape it; if something
Approaches my eyes, my lids close sharpish.
300
That's natural love.
PASCUALA . So what's the point
You want to make?
MENGO . That we love ourselves
And no one else.
PASCUALA . Excuse me, MENGO ,
But that's plain daft. The proof lies in
The fact that men and women love
305
Each other passionately, as does
An animal its mate.
MENGO . That's still
Self-love, not love. Tell me what love is.
LAURENCIA . A desire for beauty.
MENGO . And why
Does love desire it?
LAURENCIA . To enjoy it.
310
MENGO . Right. And doesn't it want that pleasure
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