driving.
“Oh my God, Kaleb, how did Nate see my picture?”
Silence, except for the rattle of the truck hitting bumps on the road. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“Sarah sent me an email saying Nate saw a picture of me naked. Did you show it to him?”
“No. He didn’t see it. There’s no way. I didn’t show anybody.”
“Did you tell him about it?”
“Well, yeah, but… I swear I didn’t show it to anybody.”
My eyes burned. “You told him about it? Did you tell all the guys?”
Another beat of silence. I heard the distant sound of brakes squeaking, the ambient noise of the truck movement fading away. He was stopping. “Don’t make a huge deal out of it, Ash.”
“It
is
a huge deal to me. I didn’t send that picture to you so you could show it around.”
“I didn’t show it around. I already told you that.”
“Then how come Nate says he saw it? God, Kaleb, we had such a fun day, too.”
“I don’t know why he’s saying that. I have no idea, really.” He paused, and it sounded like he’d started moving again. “Listen, I’ve got to go. Don’t make a big deal about it. I’ll talk to Nate and figure out what’s going on. Call you later, okay?”
I closed my eyes and rubbed my temple with my fingers. I didn’t believe him. And I’d never had that feeling with Kaleb before. I’d never not trusted him. But somehow I knew he was lying. And I hated that I was now feeling so angry at him after having such a good day together.
“Okay,” I said.
“I love you, Ash. I’m the only one who saw that picture.”
“Okay,” I repeated again, unable to wrap my mouth around the words “I love you,” because the only word that my lips wanted to form was “bull.”
I hung up and sat on my bed for a while, my eyes glued to Sarah’s email.
HEY NATE SAID HE SAW A PIC OF YOU NAKED YESTERDAY.
I stared at those words hard, hoping they would mix and jumble and move around and spell out something different. That they wouldn’t be saying what I was afraid of:
Your boyfriend’s a liar who betrayed you.
I heard the front door open and close, the muffled tones of my parents’ voices. Dad was home and Mom had probably ambushed him from the den. Soon the smell of dinner would be wafting up to my room and they’d be expecting me to come down.
The scent of the lake water in my hair was suddenly making me nauseous. I groaned and forced myself to get up and take a shower. Only this time I avoided looking in the mirror.
Nate was still at Chesterton. So were two other guys on Kaleb’s team. What if they really had seen the picture? I would die every time I saw them in the hallway.
I leaned into the steaming shower spray and willed myself to believe Kaleb. Forced myself to trust that this was no big deal. That Kaleb had bragged to the team about what I’d sent him, and Nate was just being a guy about it. Guys lied about sex all the time. Why wouldn’t Nate lieabout this? He was probably jealous. He was totally the type to get all envious and then act like he had a part in it somehow.
By the time I got out of the shower, the water was running cold and I’d mostly convinced myself that everything was okay. It would all be fine.
I dressed and headed downstairs, where the smell of chicken curry was so strong it practically singed my nose hairs.
“There she is,” my dad said from his spot at the table, his forehead barely peeking out above the top of an open newspaper. It was his evening ritual. Come home, talk Mom down from whatever preschool crisis had her worked up, change into a pair of what he called lounge pants, although they were just a pair of soft, worn khakis, sit down at the kitchen table with the newspaper, and gripe to Mom about the articles while she cooked dinner.
“Hi, Dad.” I leaned over the newspaper and kissed his cheek, trying to shrug off the embarrassed feeling that was edging its way in, as if he knew about the photo, too. I knew it wasn’t possible, but a few hours
“Oh my God, Kaleb, how did Nate see my picture?”
Silence, except for the rattle of the truck hitting bumps on the road. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“Sarah sent me an email saying Nate saw a picture of me naked. Did you show it to him?”
“No. He didn’t see it. There’s no way. I didn’t show anybody.”
“Did you tell him about it?”
“Well, yeah, but… I swear I didn’t show it to anybody.”
My eyes burned. “You told him about it? Did you tell all the guys?”
Another beat of silence. I heard the distant sound of brakes squeaking, the ambient noise of the truck movement fading away. He was stopping. “Don’t make a huge deal out of it, Ash.”
“It
is
a huge deal to me. I didn’t send that picture to you so you could show it around.”
“I didn’t show it around. I already told you that.”
“Then how come Nate says he saw it? God, Kaleb, we had such a fun day, too.”
“I don’t know why he’s saying that. I have no idea, really.” He paused, and it sounded like he’d started moving again. “Listen, I’ve got to go. Don’t make a big deal about it. I’ll talk to Nate and figure out what’s going on. Call you later, okay?”
I closed my eyes and rubbed my temple with my fingers. I didn’t believe him. And I’d never had that feeling with Kaleb before. I’d never not trusted him. But somehow I knew he was lying. And I hated that I was now feeling so angry at him after having such a good day together.
“Okay,” I said.
“I love you, Ash. I’m the only one who saw that picture.”
“Okay,” I repeated again, unable to wrap my mouth around the words “I love you,” because the only word that my lips wanted to form was “bull.”
I hung up and sat on my bed for a while, my eyes glued to Sarah’s email.
HEY NATE SAID HE SAW A PIC OF YOU NAKED YESTERDAY.
I stared at those words hard, hoping they would mix and jumble and move around and spell out something different. That they wouldn’t be saying what I was afraid of:
Your boyfriend’s a liar who betrayed you.
I heard the front door open and close, the muffled tones of my parents’ voices. Dad was home and Mom had probably ambushed him from the den. Soon the smell of dinner would be wafting up to my room and they’d be expecting me to come down.
The scent of the lake water in my hair was suddenly making me nauseous. I groaned and forced myself to get up and take a shower. Only this time I avoided looking in the mirror.
Nate was still at Chesterton. So were two other guys on Kaleb’s team. What if they really had seen the picture? I would die every time I saw them in the hallway.
I leaned into the steaming shower spray and willed myself to believe Kaleb. Forced myself to trust that this was no big deal. That Kaleb had bragged to the team about what I’d sent him, and Nate was just being a guy about it. Guys lied about sex all the time. Why wouldn’t Nate lieabout this? He was probably jealous. He was totally the type to get all envious and then act like he had a part in it somehow.
By the time I got out of the shower, the water was running cold and I’d mostly convinced myself that everything was okay. It would all be fine.
I dressed and headed downstairs, where the smell of chicken curry was so strong it practically singed my nose hairs.
“There she is,” my dad said from his spot at the table, his forehead barely peeking out above the top of an open newspaper. It was his evening ritual. Come home, talk Mom down from whatever preschool crisis had her worked up, change into a pair of what he called lounge pants, although they were just a pair of soft, worn khakis, sit down at the kitchen table with the newspaper, and gripe to Mom about the articles while she cooked dinner.
“Hi, Dad.” I leaned over the newspaper and kissed his cheek, trying to shrug off the embarrassed feeling that was edging its way in, as if he knew about the photo, too. I knew it wasn’t possible, but a few hours
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