this institution. I believe I have the power to expel
any
student who misbehaves as grossly as the two boys you just mentioned,â
âBut Elmer was in his room all the time,â Bruno protested. âHe couldnât have been at Miss Scrimmageâs.â
âGeorge too,â said Boots. âHe came home from the dance and never left our room until the fire alarm went off.â
Mr. Sturgeon smiled icily. âSo,â he said, âinstead of being able to complain that Drimsdale and Wexford-Smyth are unsuitable roommates, you are obliged to come here to defend them.â
He knows, thought Boots miserably. He knows everything.
âContrary to popular belief,â the Headmaster went on, âI am not as stupid as some of you think. I was a boy once myself, you know, and I understand all the little tricks.â His voice continued, colder than ever. âWhat you tried to do to your roommates was thoughtless and cruel. They are, of course, in the clear; I never for one moment believed they were guilty. It was I who suggested that they pretend to be expelled â just to see what kind of boys you two really are.â
Bruno and Boots sat in stunned silence.
âHad you not come to me to prevent their expulsion, I would have immediately sent you both packing.â He paused to let his words sink in. The silence was deafening. âHowever, the fact that you have done the right thing does not mean you will get off scot-free. Miss Scrimmageâs flower beds and bushes have been badly trampled. You two will therefore report to the gardenerâs shed every morning at sunrise and work to repair the damage. Any new supplies which may be required will be purchased from your pocket money. This means, Walton,â he added, âthat you will join OâNeal for dishwashing duty, since your allowance has already been used up to pay the exterminators. You know the rates, I believe.â
âYes, sir,â said Bruno.
âAs for you, OâNeal, your privileges are suspended for the remainder of the year. Walton, at the rate youâre going, yours just might be restored to you by the time you reach the age of forty-three. You may go.â
Both boys stood up. âYes, sir. Thank you, sir.â
Mr. Sturgeon actually smiled at them. âI am glad to see that instead of complaining about your punishment you appreciate what was
not
done to you. Please go to your rooms â and separately. Good day.â
Bruno and Boots left the office and headed back towards their dormitories.
Moments after the boys had left, Mr. Sturgeonâs telephone buzzed. He grimaced. â
Thatâs
right on schedule too.â
He lifted the receiver to his ear. âHello ⦠Yes, Miss Scrimmage. I was just about to call you ⦠Iâm sending two of my boys over to repair the damage. Theyâll be working from sunrise every morning ⦠Yes, Miss Scrimmage, we intend to cover all losses ⦠Miss Scrimmage, with all due respect, I must ask you not to refer to
my boys
as hoodlums when
your girls
were responsible for the riot ⦠Oh yes, they were. My boys could not possibly have achieved that result without inside help from those female barbarians of yours ⦠Iâve told you, your flowers and bushes
will
be replaced. My boys merely thought they were rescuing your girls from a fire ⦠What
about
your sign? May I remind you that it was no one from Macdonald Hall who shot a hole through it ⦠Well, perhaps you should
teach
them fishing. They certainly arenât learning manners! And furthermore, Miss Scrimmage ⦠Miss Scrimmage? â¦â
As Mr. Sturgeon replaced the receiver, a picture flashed through his mind: boys milling and shouting, girls running and screaming, and on the balcony, Miss Scrimmage with her shotgun. He put his head down on the desk and laughed until the green blotter was soaked with tears.
Chapter
Anita Amirrezvani
J.B. Garner
Sydney Logan
Jeffrey Shapiro
Mary Alice Monroe
Charlotte Anne
K. P. Hilton
Scarlet Hyacinth
Philip K. Dick
SJD Peterson, S.A. McAuley