Read Online Thieving Weasels by Billy Taylor - Free Book Online Page B

bikes for cars, but I ran away before we could graduate to the next level. This was probably a good thing, considering at least one of us would have ended up dead or in jail.
    â€œYou ever hear of Fat Nicky Gangliosi?” Roy asked, strolling out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.
    â€œIs he the guy you stole that bike from?”
    â€œNot even close.” Roy grabbed a jar of Vaseline off the table and slathered it all over a fresh tattoo on his arm. “Twenty years ago Fat Nicky was reigning champion of the New York crime world. Then about ten years ago he got shot up in a botched murder attempt and had to retire. Now his son runs the business, and Fat Nicky sits around all day watching cooking shows. You with me so far?”
    â€œI guess.”
    â€œGood, because our job is to kill him.”
    I waited for Roy to say he was joking, and when he didn’t I said, “Are you crazy? We’re thieves. We don’t kill people.”
    â€œThe world’s changed, Skip. Between the recession and all the new security stuff out there, it’s impossible to make a living off welfare checks anymore.”
    â€œI thought Vinny just got disability.”
    â€œFor like three weeks. By the time he’s done paying off the doctor and the check cashing service, he’ll clear barely three bills.”
    â€œSo why did he do it?”
    â€œBirds gotta fly. Fish gotta swim,” Roy said with a shrug. “But listen, I understand your reluctance to cap this guy and I felt exactly the same way.”
    â€œGood.”
    â€œThat’s why we’re only going to
pretend
to cap him.”
    This job was getting more ridiculous by the second.
    â€œAnd what happens after that?” I asked. “Is someone going to pretend to pay us?”
    â€œNo, the money’s real.”
    â€œThat’s reassuring,” I said with a laugh. “And who wants us to kill this guy?”
    â€œYour mother’s roommate. Well, he’s not actually her roommate. He’s more like her neighbor.”
    â€œAt Shady Oaks? Now I get it. This guy must think he’s the Godfather and you’re Spider-Man. Who do I get to be? Luke Skywalker, or Indiana Jones?”
    â€œThe guy’s not in the crazy part of Shady Oaks. He’s in the Williams Pavilion.”
    â€œWhat’s that?”
    â€œIt’s their old age home. Besides, the only thing that matters is that his money is sane. Here, check this out.”
    Roy handed me some forms on Shady Oaks stationery. There were lots of big numbers scattered about and I said, “I never realized Shady Oaks was so expensive. I guess it’s a good thing Mom got all that money from Grandpa Patsy, otherwise she’d never be able to afford this place.”
    â€œWhat money?”
    â€œYou know, the
money
money. Where’d you get this paperwork from, anyway?”
    â€œThe Shady Oaks financial services office.”
    â€œYou broke in?”
    â€œNo, I used my master key.” Roy stood up and said, “You’re looking at the new night janitor at the Williams Pavilion. That’s why I was asleep when you got here.”
    â€œBut we went to Shooters last night.”
    â€œMy shift is from midnight till eight in the morning. After I hooked up with Jackie I had her drop me off at Shady Oaks. And speaking of Jackie, she’s got this girlfriend that sounds perfect for Vinny. The only problem is her friend’s kind of shy and wants Jackie to spend some quality time with Vinny to see if he’s boyfriend material. So, take a bath, my favorite cousin, because tomorrow night the four of us are going out to dinner.”
    â€œWhy do you want me to tag along?”
    â€œTo help Vinny impress Jackie. Face it, you’re the closest thing to an impressive person we know. What do you say?”
    â€œI’d love to, but I spent all my money at Shooters last night.”
    â€œDon’t worry