Read Online They Never Die Quietly (2010) by D M Annechino - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: D M Annechino
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castle with a firm hand and European stubbornness. Nevertheless, Sami, no matter how disobedient, still remained his pride and joy.
Sami spent most of her life trying to please her dad, doing whatever she could to fulfill his lofty expectations, hoping to feel deserving of his love. Yet she believed that she never quite hit the mark. He never outwardly showed his disappointment, but Sami could see it reflected in his green eyes. Whether it was for a substandard report card, a forgotten chore, or serving him lukewarm espresso, his displeasure ripped through her. Had he lived another two years, he might have--for the first time in his life--shown pride in her appointment as a homicide detective. Sadly, he would never know his dying request for her to become a detective came true.
After his funeral, Sami's mother suddenly metamorphosed from a soft-spoken woman to a mean-spirited shrew. After his death, Josephine Rizzo couldn't meddle enough in Sami's life. It was as if she were making up for lost time. She criticized Sami's every move. And Sami strongly suspected that her mother's repressed hostility was now venting itself.
Since her father's death, Sami expended great energy trying to comply with her mother's wishes, often compromising her principles in an effort to avoid conflict. But it seemed that Josephine Rizzo derived great pleasure from undermining Sami. After repeated attempts to appease her, Sami gave up. Their relationship, fostered neither through love nor mutual respect, was impelled by obligation. To honor her mother could never be a conscious choice, but rather a commandment and accepted tradition. Sami often wrestled with this paradox.
Honor and respect. Honor and respect.
This truth echoed the ultimate hypocrisy. How could she honor and respect her mother when she didn't even like her? How could Sami endure Josephine's harsh manipulation and constant criticism without suffering deep wounds of resentment?
With Angelina, Sami had read all the popular books on parenting, hoping to abandon her twisted notions. She tried, desperately, to approach parenthood with an open mind, to pave new pathways of understanding. But she had not anticipated rearing Angelina as a single parent. So when Tommy DiSalvo, Asswipe Extraordinaire, announced that "things weren't working out," Sami's meticulous plans and dreams of raising the perfect child and creating a household rooted in a strong family structure were suddenly derailed. Facing the enormous task of raising Angelina on her own filled Sami with a profound feeling of inadequacy.
While Josephine watched Angelina, Sami tried to enjoy a long shower, allowing the hot water to pulse against the sore muscles in her lower back. For the past three weekends, her ex-husband had disappointed Angelina by calling at the last minute and announcing that he could not spend the weekend with his only daughter. Angelina didn't understand this, but Sami knew too well that Tommy, unreliable and rarely trustworthy, considered his daughter an inconvenience when other less noble activities presented themselves. Each week, Sami had to invent excuses that Angelina might understand. Today, Tommy claimed that he had to help a friend move but promised to "swing by" on Sunday. Did he actually think Sami would hang around for the entire day waiting for him to fulfill his empty promises?
Tommy DiSalvo hadn't wanted children and had no desire to get married. Sami, regrettably, talked him into it, convinced him that it would help solidify their commitment to each other. She lied to herself and Tommy, pretending that marriage could fix their failing relationship. But marriage had not been powerful enough to heal their damaged love, if love even existed.
After toweling off, blow-drying her hair, and coating her skin with raspberry moisturizing cream, Sami slipped into her favorite lounging shorts, threw on a baggy T-shirt, and joined her mother and daughter in the living room. Now wide awake, Angelina
Sami spent most of her life trying to please her dad, doing whatever she could to fulfill his lofty expectations, hoping to feel deserving of his love. Yet she believed that she never quite hit the mark. He never outwardly showed his disappointment, but Sami could see it reflected in his green eyes. Whether it was for a substandard report card, a forgotten chore, or serving him lukewarm espresso, his displeasure ripped through her. Had he lived another two years, he might have--for the first time in his life--shown pride in her appointment as a homicide detective. Sadly, he would never know his dying request for her to become a detective came true.
After his funeral, Sami's mother suddenly metamorphosed from a soft-spoken woman to a mean-spirited shrew. After his death, Josephine Rizzo couldn't meddle enough in Sami's life. It was as if she were making up for lost time. She criticized Sami's every move. And Sami strongly suspected that her mother's repressed hostility was now venting itself.
Since her father's death, Sami expended great energy trying to comply with her mother's wishes, often compromising her principles in an effort to avoid conflict. But it seemed that Josephine Rizzo derived great pleasure from undermining Sami. After repeated attempts to appease her, Sami gave up. Their relationship, fostered neither through love nor mutual respect, was impelled by obligation. To honor her mother could never be a conscious choice, but rather a commandment and accepted tradition. Sami often wrestled with this paradox.
Honor and respect. Honor and respect.
This truth echoed the ultimate hypocrisy. How could she honor and respect her mother when she didn't even like her? How could Sami endure Josephine's harsh manipulation and constant criticism without suffering deep wounds of resentment?
With Angelina, Sami had read all the popular books on parenting, hoping to abandon her twisted notions. She tried, desperately, to approach parenthood with an open mind, to pave new pathways of understanding. But she had not anticipated rearing Angelina as a single parent. So when Tommy DiSalvo, Asswipe Extraordinaire, announced that "things weren't working out," Sami's meticulous plans and dreams of raising the perfect child and creating a household rooted in a strong family structure were suddenly derailed. Facing the enormous task of raising Angelina on her own filled Sami with a profound feeling of inadequacy.
While Josephine watched Angelina, Sami tried to enjoy a long shower, allowing the hot water to pulse against the sore muscles in her lower back. For the past three weekends, her ex-husband had disappointed Angelina by calling at the last minute and announcing that he could not spend the weekend with his only daughter. Angelina didn't understand this, but Sami knew too well that Tommy, unreliable and rarely trustworthy, considered his daughter an inconvenience when other less noble activities presented themselves. Each week, Sami had to invent excuses that Angelina might understand. Today, Tommy claimed that he had to help a friend move but promised to "swing by" on Sunday. Did he actually think Sami would hang around for the entire day waiting for him to fulfill his empty promises?
Tommy DiSalvo hadn't wanted children and had no desire to get married. Sami, regrettably, talked him into it, convinced him that it would help solidify their commitment to each other. She lied to herself and Tommy, pretending that marriage could fix their failing relationship. But marriage had not been powerful enough to heal their damaged love, if love even existed.
After toweling off, blow-drying her hair, and coating her skin with raspberry moisturizing cream, Sami slipped into her favorite lounging shorts, threw on a baggy T-shirt, and joined her mother and daughter in the living room. Now wide awake, Angelina
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