Read Online Thereby Hangs a Tail by Spencer Quinn - Free Book Online

pistol-whipped the driver, snatched the Borghese woman. And the goddamn dog. But my question is why weren’t you there?”
    “She didn’t hire us,” Bernie said.
    “Huh?” said the lieutenant. “She told me she had. It’s not adding up, Bernie—you’re not trying to put one—” Bernie pressed a button and Lieutenant Stine’s voice shrank to a tinny version of itself coming through the earpiece of the phone.
    Bernie said, “I’m not trying anything. She fired us so fast it was almost like never getting hired in the first place.” Lieutenant Stine said something I couldn’t make out, and Bernie replied, “Couldn’t tell you why. That’s her right. But where are you on this? Was the trainer in the limo, too? What—”
    I heard a loud click on the other end. Bernie put the phone down, glanced at me, then at Suzie. She was busy writing in her notebook.
    “Suzie?” he said, very quietly. “What are you writing?”
    Suzie looked up. The pen kept moving even without her watching what she was doing. Sometimes humans amaze me. “I’m writing—question for Bernie: why fired?”
    Bernie gave her a cold look. Hey! What was going on between them? And the getting fired part: that was all on me, not Bernie. I barked. Suzie closed her notebook, came toward me, stroked my head. “Good boy,” she said. The truth was I’d been bad, not good, but I guess the point wasn’t getting across to Suzie. What could I do? And besides, the stroking felt so nice. I just emptied my mind and enjoyed every second.
    “We had a personality conflict,” Bernie said.
    Suzie stopped stroking me. “You and Ms. Borghese?” she said.
    “Correct.”
    “What were the circumstances?”
    “I’m not going into that,” Bernie said. “And all this is off the record.”
    “All what?”
    “What I’m telling you.”
    “You haven’t told me anything, Bernie. Maybe you don’t realize how big this is. The Great Western Dog Show’s the mayor’s baby. He’s beside himself right now. And you’re part of the story whether you like it or not.”
    “Do I hear a threat?” Bernie said.
    A threat? I’d missed that completely. And Suzie was our friend, right? She’d never threaten us. Maybe Bernie was tired. All at once, I was a bit tired, too. I lay down under the hall table. A roof over your head is always nice. I realized that the house had a roof, of course, so in fact I had two roofs over my head, even better. And what about the ceiling? Under the roof, right, but still a kind of roof, too? I got a bit confused.
    “No threat,” said Suzie. “Just a heads up, that’s all. The mayor’s pissed off at the chief, and the chief ’s pissed off at Stine, and they’re all going to be looking for a fall guy, so maybe if you got out in front, made some comment that put things in a better light—”
    “Meaning blame someone else?” Bernie said.
    “Not necessarily,” said Suzie. “Just an explanation of why you were off the case.”
    Bernie glanced over at me, lying under the table, one eye open. I gave my tail a thump, not very hard; sleep was on the way.
    “I’ve got no comment,” Bernie said.
    They exchanged a look I didn’t like seeing between them, cold on both sides. Suzie put her notebook away, took a few steps toward the door, then paused. “How’s Charlie?” she said, her voice softening.
    Bernie took a breath, let it out slowly. I could feel big human emotions in the air, hers and his. “Fine,” Bernie said. “He’s fine.”
    “Good,” said Suzie.
    Bernie nodded. Suzie’s mouth opened as though she was going to say more, but she did not. Instead she moved toward the door. The eyelid over my one open eye got very heavy.
    When I woke up, I heard Bernie’s voice coming from somewhere in the house. I couldn’t make out the words, but it was pleasant just lying there, listening to Bernie talk. After a bit, I got out from under the hall table, gave myself a stretch, the kind with my front legs way forward, my head