Theophilus North

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Authors: Thornton Wilder
Tags: Historical, Classics
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“But, Hilary, can’t you see what nonsense he talks? He’s trying to cage us in; he’s trying to block us.”
    I continued. “This crossing will take about half an hour. Will you permit Mr. Jones and myself to go to the upper deck and talk this matter over reasonably?”
    He said, “Any conversation we have, I want Miss Bell to be there too. Diana, I ask you again: will you listen to what he has to say?”
    â€œLet’s go upstairs, then,” she said, despairingly.
    The big hall upstairs looked like a cheap dance hall, ten years abandoned. It had a sandwich and coffee counter, closed at this early season. The tables and chairs were rusty and stained. The lamps gave off a steel-blue light, such as would serve to photograph criminals. Even Diana and Hilary—fine-looking persons, both—looked hideous.
    â€œWill you speak first, Miss Bell?”
    â€œHow could you take this nasty job, Mr. North? Some children pointed you out to me at the Casino. They said they like you.”
    â€œI’ll tell you anything you want to know about me later. I’d like to hear you talk about yourselves first.”
    â€œI met Hilary at the hospital where I do volunteer work. He was sitting by his daughter’s bed. It was wonderful the way they were talking together. I fell in love with him, just watching them. Most fathers bring a box of candy or a doll and they act as though they wished they were a thousand miles away. I love you, Hilary, and I want you to forgive me for slapping your face. I’ll never think of doing it again.” He put his hand on hers. “Mr. North, I lose control of myself every now and then. My whole life has been mixed up and full of mistakes. I was sent home from three schools. If you —and my father—somehow pull me back to Newport this time I’ll put an end to myself—as my Aunt Jeannine did. I never want to put foot in Newport again as long as I live. Hilary’s cousin, who lives in Maryland where we’re going to be married, says that there are schools and colleges all over where he can go on with his work. I have a little money of my own, left me by Aunt Jeannine in her will. It will help to pay for the operations that Hilary’s daughter will need next year. Now, Mr. North, what has this common sense you keep boasting about to say about that?”
    There was a silence.
    â€œThank you, Miss Bell. Can I ask Mr. Jones to speak now?”
    â€œI guess that you don’t know I’m a divorced man. My wife’s Italian. Her lawyer told her to tell the judge that we weren’t compatible, but I still think she’s a very fine woman. . . . She works in a bank now and . . . she says she’s happy. We both contribute from our salaries to pay Linda’s hospital bills. When I met Diana she was in a sort of blue-striped uniform. When I saw her leaning over Linda’s bed, I thought she was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. I didn’t know that she came from one of the big families. For lunch hours we used to meet in a corner table at the Scottish Tea Room. . . . I wanted to call on her father and mother, like most men would, but Diana thought that that wouldn’t do any good . . . that the only thing to do is what we’re doing tonight.”
    Silence. It was my turn.
    â€œMiss Bell, I’m going to say something. I have no intention of offending you. And I’m not trying to put any obstacles in the way of your marrying Mr. Jones. I’m still talking in the name of common sense. There’s no need for you to elope. You are a very conspicuous young’ woman. Everything you do stirs up a lot of publicity. You’ve run out of your allowance of elopements. I hate to say it, but do you know that you have a nickname known in millions of homes where they read those Sunday papers?”
    She stared at me furiously. “What is it?”
    â€œI’m not

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