Read Online Their New Beginning (Oh Captain, My Captain #5) by Lindsay Paige, Mary Smith, Rebecca Cartee - Free Book Online
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causing the plates to rattle.
Her words push me over the edge, and I calmly tell her exactly what I think. “Call me a hypocrite all you want, but I’m not a cheater. I never slept with anyone who was in a relationship. I never crossed that line. Yeah, I should have been a better husband, but that doesn’t mean you can sleep with someone else.”
My voice raises with every sentence. “ You aren’t the one wondering if you can trust me. You aren’t the one who has to wonder if every time I go off somewhere and start drinking if I’m going to sleep with the first nice girl. You aren’t the one who knows that this fucking marriage didn’t matter! That’s not what’s running through your mind, Avery, because you’re the one acting like a whore. You fucked him after thinking about me. You fucked him while wearing that ring. So, if a hypocrite is the worst thing I am, at least it’s better than what I can call you.”
“A whore?” My hands clench into fists at the word I already regret. “That’s what you think of me? Your wife? I made a mistake. One time. For almost five years, I have done nothing but take care of you. I’m sorry, Jax. How many times do I have to say it? What do you want me to do?”
All she’s doing is making me furious and stabbing me in the heart while doing it. “Don’t bring up the fact that you’re my wife now, Avery. It’s obviously not a strong point since you brought that up before you cheated on me. And you bringing up how you’ve done ‘nothing but take care of me’ is exactly why I wanted to hire someone else.” I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but it doesn’t do much good. “I just want you to stop acting like it doesn’t matter. Things weren’t good, I know that. I’m not saying they were and I know it was mostly my fault. But this isn’t like, ‘oh honey, I’m sorry, I wrecked the car’ or ‘I’m sorry. I forgot to pay the light bill.’ You made a bad marriage worse before we could really try to fix it.” I take a moment to take a deep breath.
“While you were gone, do you want to know what I was doing?” I lean forward in my seat, looking her in the eyes. “I was making a decision. A decision that if I couldn’t make you my number one priority because of my job, then I would be done when my contract ran out. I could find a coaching job and do that. I thought it all out and then you come home, spend the day with me, and tell me that you slept with someone else.”
The shock written all over her face kills me. “You… you were going to give up hockey? For me? Are you serious?”
“Yeah, for you. My wife. My wife who for one night,” I hold up a finger, “for one mistake, didn’t care that she had a husband, even if he wasn’t a good one.”
“I don’t know what to say, Jax. I didn’t think you would ever give it up. For anything. Especially for me. Are you just saying this?” Her disbelief pisses me off and saddens me.
“You’re the only person I would give it up for. And it’s my fault you don’t even believe I would do such a thing.” How could she not know? Even before all of this shit? I lean back in my seat. “I was ready to show you that I was and then all hell broke loose.”
“Jax, I don’t know what to say.” Avery sobs, a trembling hand covering her mouth. “I didn’t mean to ruin our lives. I would do anything to take it back.” She leaves the table, running off to her bedroom, the sobs echoing down the hall.
Still full of rage, I stand abruptly, my chair scraping loudly against the floor. I grab my keys and slam the door on my way out. I’m pissed at her, and I’m pissed at myself. She didn’t just have sex once; she had sex twice . She almost acts as if I should take full responsibility for her actions. She called the fucker a nice guy! I’m furious with her. And then I had to go and bring up ending my career, which I wasn’t going to do. It seems even more pointless now because she never
Her words push me over the edge, and I calmly tell her exactly what I think. “Call me a hypocrite all you want, but I’m not a cheater. I never slept with anyone who was in a relationship. I never crossed that line. Yeah, I should have been a better husband, but that doesn’t mean you can sleep with someone else.”
My voice raises with every sentence. “ You aren’t the one wondering if you can trust me. You aren’t the one who has to wonder if every time I go off somewhere and start drinking if I’m going to sleep with the first nice girl. You aren’t the one who knows that this fucking marriage didn’t matter! That’s not what’s running through your mind, Avery, because you’re the one acting like a whore. You fucked him after thinking about me. You fucked him while wearing that ring. So, if a hypocrite is the worst thing I am, at least it’s better than what I can call you.”
“A whore?” My hands clench into fists at the word I already regret. “That’s what you think of me? Your wife? I made a mistake. One time. For almost five years, I have done nothing but take care of you. I’m sorry, Jax. How many times do I have to say it? What do you want me to do?”
All she’s doing is making me furious and stabbing me in the heart while doing it. “Don’t bring up the fact that you’re my wife now, Avery. It’s obviously not a strong point since you brought that up before you cheated on me. And you bringing up how you’ve done ‘nothing but take care of me’ is exactly why I wanted to hire someone else.” I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but it doesn’t do much good. “I just want you to stop acting like it doesn’t matter. Things weren’t good, I know that. I’m not saying they were and I know it was mostly my fault. But this isn’t like, ‘oh honey, I’m sorry, I wrecked the car’ or ‘I’m sorry. I forgot to pay the light bill.’ You made a bad marriage worse before we could really try to fix it.” I take a moment to take a deep breath.
“While you were gone, do you want to know what I was doing?” I lean forward in my seat, looking her in the eyes. “I was making a decision. A decision that if I couldn’t make you my number one priority because of my job, then I would be done when my contract ran out. I could find a coaching job and do that. I thought it all out and then you come home, spend the day with me, and tell me that you slept with someone else.”
The shock written all over her face kills me. “You… you were going to give up hockey? For me? Are you serious?”
“Yeah, for you. My wife. My wife who for one night,” I hold up a finger, “for one mistake, didn’t care that she had a husband, even if he wasn’t a good one.”
“I don’t know what to say, Jax. I didn’t think you would ever give it up. For anything. Especially for me. Are you just saying this?” Her disbelief pisses me off and saddens me.
“You’re the only person I would give it up for. And it’s my fault you don’t even believe I would do such a thing.” How could she not know? Even before all of this shit? I lean back in my seat. “I was ready to show you that I was and then all hell broke loose.”
“Jax, I don’t know what to say.” Avery sobs, a trembling hand covering her mouth. “I didn’t mean to ruin our lives. I would do anything to take it back.” She leaves the table, running off to her bedroom, the sobs echoing down the hall.
Still full of rage, I stand abruptly, my chair scraping loudly against the floor. I grab my keys and slam the door on my way out. I’m pissed at her, and I’m pissed at myself. She didn’t just have sex once; she had sex twice . She almost acts as if I should take full responsibility for her actions. She called the fucker a nice guy! I’m furious with her. And then I had to go and bring up ending my career, which I wasn’t going to do. It seems even more pointless now because she never
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