Read Online The World's Worst Mothers by Sabine Ludwig - Free Book Online

Otherwise, they wouldn’t be here. What’ll I call them?’
    At that moment, the gate was flung open and a pack of enraged women came charging into the building. They were all shouting each other down.
    â€˜Are you responsible for this circus?’ called a long scrawny person in a flowing garment of indeterminate colour.
    â€˜If you haven’t got a good explanation, I will call the police,’ screamed a fat little woman, gesturing threateningly with a mobile phone.
    Wohlfarth raised his hands defensively.
    â€˜Quiet, ladies, please. Silence, please.’ He pointed at a couple of rows of chairs. ‘At least sit down and have something to eat.’
    As if to order, Ramona Bottle and Vibke Paulsen appeared with coffee pots, cups and plates of goodies.
    The long scrawny one shook her head. ‘I only drink barley coffee.’
    And the short fat one asked, ‘Are those low-calorie biscuits?’
    â€˜Oh, yes,’ said Vibke Paulsen. ‘Don’t worry. We’ve thought of everything. There’s ordinary coffee and decaffeinated and herbal teas, low-calorie biscuits and soya milk …’
    She was dishing out cups and plates and speaking soothingly to everyone, and gradually peace descended.
    The seventeen women were now sitting quietly on their chairs, looking expectantly at Wohlfarth.
    He cleared his throat a couple of times and then he began. ‘You are surely wondering why you are here, and I will tell you all in a moment. But on the voyage over, you may have gathered a few things. You are all mothers, and …’ Wohlfarth took a deep breath, ‘and you are all dreadful mothers. To be quite clear: not only are you dreadful mothers, you are the world’s worst mothers.’
    A storm of indignation broke out.
    â€˜Are you crazy?’ one woman yelled, and another cried, ‘This has to be Candid Camera. Cooey!’ She waved and grinned all around.
    â€˜No, no, you’ve got it all wrong,’ said Wohlfarth. ‘Let me explain –’
    But they wouldn’t let him. The short fat one was thumbing her mobile. ‘Hello? Hello? Is that the police?’
    Then she lowered the mobile. ‘Nothing.’
    â€˜Unfortunately, we don’t get a signal here on Nordfall,’ said Vibke Paulsen.
    The tumult got louder. ‘I’m going. I’m not putting up with this,’ cried a lady in an elegant suit with carefully coiffured hair.
    â€˜That’s right. I must get home, my Timmy will be home from school at any moment,’ said the short fat one.
    â€˜Please listen for a moment,’ said Wohlfarth, unfolding a sheet of paper. ‘I would like to read something to you, and I think you will be very happy to stay here after you have heard it.’
    He cleared his throat and read. ‘“My mother is so suspicious. She reads my diary secretly. And the first thing she does when she gets home is to check if the TV is still warm, because I’m not allowed to watch telly. It makes you stupid, she claims. But she watches all sorts of rubbish every night till really late. If I say I’m meeting a friend, she rings up to make sure it’s true. She’d love to be able to get me implanted with one of those chips, so she could track my every move.”’
    Wohlfarth broke off. ‘I don’t think I need to read any more, do I?’
    The woman in the chic suit, whose pointy nose had got very white, took out a handkerchief and snorted noisily into it.
    Wohlfarth took a new sheet.
    â€˜This will interest one of you for sure: “My mother is the world’s worst mother because she forces me to play the piano, though I’d much prefer to box. I can’t play at all. And I’m always terrified of my piano lesson, especially since I’ve been going to Professor Griebel. He’s mad expensive, and I wish my mother would save the money, but I just can’t talk to her. If I say anything, she