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Authors: Kay Hooper
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wrecked, not by using the powers that had destroyed. Because she didn’t understand the technology of television or radio or even clocks, it simply wasn’t possible for her to focus her powers to fix what was broken. It would be like the blind trying to put together by touch alone something they couldn’t even recognize enough to define.
To create or control anything, it was first necessary to understand its very elements, its basic structure, and how it functioned. How many times had Merlin told her that? Twenty times? A hundred?
Serena sat down on her bed, still feeling drained. But not numb; that mercy wasn’t granted to her. The switch she had found to contain her energies could do nothing to erase the memory of Richard with another woman.
It hurt. She couldn’t believe how much it hurt. All these years she had convinced herself that she was the only woman in his life who mattered, and now she knew that wasn’t true. He didn’t belong only to her. He didn’t belong to her at all. He really didn’t see her as a woman—or, if he did, she obviously held absolutely no attraction for him.
The pain was worse, knowing that.
Dawn had lightened the windows by the time Serena tried to go back to sleep. But she couldn’t. She lay beneath the covers, staring up at the ceiling, feeling olderthan she had ever felt before. There was no limbo now, no sense of being suspended between woman and child; Serena knew she could never again be a child, not even to protect herself.
The question was, How was that going to alter her relationship with Merlin? Could she pretend there was nothing different? No. Could she even bear to look at him without crying out her pain and rage? Probably not. How would he react when she made her feelings plain, with disgust or pity? That was certainly possible. Would her raw emotion drive him even farther away from her? Or was he, even now, planning to banish her from his life completely?
Because he knew. He knew what she had discovered in the dark watches of the night.
Just before her own shock had wrenched her free of his mind, Serena had felt for a split second
his
shock as he sensed and recognized her presence intruding on that intensely private act.
He knew. He knew she had been there.
It was another part of her pain, the discomfiting guilt and shame of having been, however unintentionally, a voyeur. She had a memory now that she would never forget, but it was his, not hers. She’d stolen it from him…. And of all the things they both had to face when he came home, that one was likely to be the most difficult of all.
The only certainty Serena could find in any of it was the knowledge that nothing would ever be the same again.
THREE
T uesday was a very unsettling day for Serena. Preferring to keep busy, she went to work as usual, despite her shortage of sleep. But she couldn’t keep her thoughts off Merlin and what had happened the night before. Still, she had years of practice in maintaining a normal facade, and that enabled her to get through the day without disgracing herself by bursting into tears or snapping at everyone she encountered.
At least the “switch” she had finally discovered remained firmly off, which kept her inner turmoil from manifesting itself in another dangerous release of unfocused energies. For that she was grateful.
But a bad day was made immeasurably worse when she found Jeremy Kane waiting in the lobby of her office building.
“Hello, Kane.” Everyone who knew him, even women, called the reporter by his last name.
“Serena.” He was smiling. “If you have a few minutes, I’d like to talk to you. There’s a coffee shop just across the street. Shall we?”
His manner was less abrupt than usual, and all her instincts went on alert. She didn’t like his uncharacteristically pleasant smile, and there was a gleam in his eyesthat made her want to hold on tight to her purse. But Serena knew she had taken a risk on Friday night, and if there was
To create or control anything, it was first necessary to understand its very elements, its basic structure, and how it functioned. How many times had Merlin told her that? Twenty times? A hundred?
Serena sat down on her bed, still feeling drained. But not numb; that mercy wasn’t granted to her. The switch she had found to contain her energies could do nothing to erase the memory of Richard with another woman.
It hurt. She couldn’t believe how much it hurt. All these years she had convinced herself that she was the only woman in his life who mattered, and now she knew that wasn’t true. He didn’t belong only to her. He didn’t belong to her at all. He really didn’t see her as a woman—or, if he did, she obviously held absolutely no attraction for him.
The pain was worse, knowing that.
Dawn had lightened the windows by the time Serena tried to go back to sleep. But she couldn’t. She lay beneath the covers, staring up at the ceiling, feeling olderthan she had ever felt before. There was no limbo now, no sense of being suspended between woman and child; Serena knew she could never again be a child, not even to protect herself.
The question was, How was that going to alter her relationship with Merlin? Could she pretend there was nothing different? No. Could she even bear to look at him without crying out her pain and rage? Probably not. How would he react when she made her feelings plain, with disgust or pity? That was certainly possible. Would her raw emotion drive him even farther away from her? Or was he, even now, planning to banish her from his life completely?
Because he knew. He knew what she had discovered in the dark watches of the night.
Just before her own shock had wrenched her free of his mind, Serena had felt for a split second
his
shock as he sensed and recognized her presence intruding on that intensely private act.
He knew. He knew she had been there.
It was another part of her pain, the discomfiting guilt and shame of having been, however unintentionally, a voyeur. She had a memory now that she would never forget, but it was his, not hers. She’d stolen it from him…. And of all the things they both had to face when he came home, that one was likely to be the most difficult of all.
The only certainty Serena could find in any of it was the knowledge that nothing would ever be the same again.
THREE
T uesday was a very unsettling day for Serena. Preferring to keep busy, she went to work as usual, despite her shortage of sleep. But she couldn’t keep her thoughts off Merlin and what had happened the night before. Still, she had years of practice in maintaining a normal facade, and that enabled her to get through the day without disgracing herself by bursting into tears or snapping at everyone she encountered.
At least the “switch” she had finally discovered remained firmly off, which kept her inner turmoil from manifesting itself in another dangerous release of unfocused energies. For that she was grateful.
But a bad day was made immeasurably worse when she found Jeremy Kane waiting in the lobby of her office building.
“Hello, Kane.” Everyone who knew him, even women, called the reporter by his last name.
“Serena.” He was smiling. “If you have a few minutes, I’d like to talk to you. There’s a coffee shop just across the street. Shall we?”
His manner was less abrupt than usual, and all her instincts went on alert. She didn’t like his uncharacteristically pleasant smile, and there was a gleam in his eyesthat made her want to hold on tight to her purse. But Serena knew she had taken a risk on Friday night, and if there was
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