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Authors: Charlotte MacLeod
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the crowd close in around you, step back and get on the first train going in the opposite direction, and be away before anybody realized what was happening. Did Miss Smith report what she saw?”
“She tried hard enough. I gather she must have made quite a scene. She claims she told the starter, the conductor the police, and even some reporters, but none of them would pay attention to her. That’s why she eventually came to me. She happened to pick up a newspaper that had one of those ‘Tulip Street Curse Strikes Again’ stories with my name and photograph. She took it for divine guidance or something and beetled straight on over here, shopping bags and all. It was a dreadfully reckless thing to do, and naturally I was terrified for her after what happened that other time.”
“You know that wasn’t your fault.”
“I know it wasn’t, but I can’t help feeling it was. Anyway, Miss Smith was totally oblivious of the fact that she’s a noticeable sort of person with her shopping bags and all those ragged clothes peeking out from under one another. And Mr. Quiffen’s heirs, or what I presume are his heirs, had been here earlier like wolves on the fold, and my boarders were due in for dinner. I had to get her out of here and I couldn’t think what else to do, so I called you. After this episode I daresay you’ll be having your “telephone number changed.”
Bittersohn smiled again. “Don’t bet on it. Let me ask you an embarrassing question. Did you want to keep your boarders from seeing Miss Smith because she looked so crummy or because you were afraid one of them might recognize her as having been the witness who made the fuss? I take it you’re ready to believe Miss Smith’s story yourself.”
“I have to, don’t I? As to the boarders, I couldn’t have cared less about how she looked. I could always have introduced her as one of my rich relatives. I was only concerned that one of them might recognize her as the person who’d tried to be a witness.”
“Anyone in particular?”
“No, but you see, I don’t know them. They all came with recommendations of one sort or another, and we had preliminary interviews and all that, but what does that prove? I haven’t seen enough of them yet to form any valid opinions about what they might or might not be capable of, and Mr. Quiffen had got everybody’s back up at one time or another. We haven’t actually been pelting each other with mashed potatoes at the table, but that’s mainly because Charles and I and Mrs. Sorpende, who’s a darling woman, have been ganging up on him whenever he threatened to become totally unbearable. What sort of relationship he might have had with any of them outside the house, of course, I have no idea and couldn’t very well ask.”
“You say his heirs were here. Did he leave a lot of money?”
“I think he must have, from what my friends told me. I can find out exactly how much and how it was left if you want, because George Protheroe is an executor. It was George’s wife Anora who sicked Mr. Quiffen on me in the first place. She told me to soak him plenty since he could well afford it, and she added that he’d make sure I earned it, which was the truth, goodness knows. I called her last night because I didn’t know how else to get in touch with his people. They were all here this morning, including the nephew and a cousin ready to cart off whatever they could get their hands on. Luckily, Anora had warned me to lock his door and keep it locked till George arrived.”
“Did she?”
“Yes, and if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, you might as well forget it. The Protheroes don’t need to steal from anybody. Furthermore, when I saw what a delegation I was collecting, I decided I’d better have a representative of my own present, so I called my Cousin Dolph. They went charging through that door in one seething mass, so I can’t see how one of them could have pocketed anything of Mr. Quiffen’s
“She tried hard enough. I gather she must have made quite a scene. She claims she told the starter, the conductor the police, and even some reporters, but none of them would pay attention to her. That’s why she eventually came to me. She happened to pick up a newspaper that had one of those ‘Tulip Street Curse Strikes Again’ stories with my name and photograph. She took it for divine guidance or something and beetled straight on over here, shopping bags and all. It was a dreadfully reckless thing to do, and naturally I was terrified for her after what happened that other time.”
“You know that wasn’t your fault.”
“I know it wasn’t, but I can’t help feeling it was. Anyway, Miss Smith was totally oblivious of the fact that she’s a noticeable sort of person with her shopping bags and all those ragged clothes peeking out from under one another. And Mr. Quiffen’s heirs, or what I presume are his heirs, had been here earlier like wolves on the fold, and my boarders were due in for dinner. I had to get her out of here and I couldn’t think what else to do, so I called you. After this episode I daresay you’ll be having your “telephone number changed.”
Bittersohn smiled again. “Don’t bet on it. Let me ask you an embarrassing question. Did you want to keep your boarders from seeing Miss Smith because she looked so crummy or because you were afraid one of them might recognize her as having been the witness who made the fuss? I take it you’re ready to believe Miss Smith’s story yourself.”
“I have to, don’t I? As to the boarders, I couldn’t have cared less about how she looked. I could always have introduced her as one of my rich relatives. I was only concerned that one of them might recognize her as the person who’d tried to be a witness.”
“Anyone in particular?”
“No, but you see, I don’t know them. They all came with recommendations of one sort or another, and we had preliminary interviews and all that, but what does that prove? I haven’t seen enough of them yet to form any valid opinions about what they might or might not be capable of, and Mr. Quiffen had got everybody’s back up at one time or another. We haven’t actually been pelting each other with mashed potatoes at the table, but that’s mainly because Charles and I and Mrs. Sorpende, who’s a darling woman, have been ganging up on him whenever he threatened to become totally unbearable. What sort of relationship he might have had with any of them outside the house, of course, I have no idea and couldn’t very well ask.”
“You say his heirs were here. Did he leave a lot of money?”
“I think he must have, from what my friends told me. I can find out exactly how much and how it was left if you want, because George Protheroe is an executor. It was George’s wife Anora who sicked Mr. Quiffen on me in the first place. She told me to soak him plenty since he could well afford it, and she added that he’d make sure I earned it, which was the truth, goodness knows. I called her last night because I didn’t know how else to get in touch with his people. They were all here this morning, including the nephew and a cousin ready to cart off whatever they could get their hands on. Luckily, Anora had warned me to lock his door and keep it locked till George arrived.”
“Did she?”
“Yes, and if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, you might as well forget it. The Protheroes don’t need to steal from anybody. Furthermore, when I saw what a delegation I was collecting, I decided I’d better have a representative of my own present, so I called my Cousin Dolph. They went charging through that door in one seething mass, so I can’t see how one of them could have pocketed anything of Mr. Quiffen’s
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