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Authors: Paulo Coelho
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envies that man, who probably doesnt fit the list of normal be- havior he always keeps
in his pocket. He seems so independent and free; if Javits werent feeling so tired, he
would really like to talk to him.
He turns to one of his friends. What does being normal mean? Is your conscience troubling
you? Have you done something you shouldnt have? Javits has clearly asked the wrong question of the wrong man. His companion will perhaps assume that hes regretting what hes made of his life and that he
wants to start anew, but that isnt it at all. And if he does have regrets, its too late to
begin again; he knows the rules of the game.
I asked you what being normal means?
One of the friends looks bewildered. The other keeps surveying the tent, watching people
come and go.
Living like someone who lacks all ambition, the first friend says at last.
Javits takes his list out of his pocket and puts it on the table. I always have this with
me and I add to it all the time. The friend says that he cant look at it now because he
has to keep alert to whats going on around them. The other man, though, more relaxed and confident,
reads the list out loud:
1. Normal is anything that makes us forget who we are and what we want; that way we can
work in order to produce, reproduce, and earn money.
2. Setting out rules for waging war (the Geneva Convention). 3. Spending years studying at
university only to find at the end of it all that youre unemployable. 4. Working from nine till five every day at something that
gives you no pleasure at all just so that, after thirty years, you can retire. 5. Retiring and discovering that you no longer have enough energy to enjoy life and dying a few years later of sheer boredom. 6. Using Botox. 7. Believing
that power is much more important than money and that money is much more important than happiness.
8. Making fun of anyone who seeks happiness rather than money and accusing them of lacking
ambition.
9. Comparing objects like cars, houses, clothes, and defining life according to those
comparisons, instead of trying to discover the real reason for being alive.
10. Never talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about the neighbors.
11. Believing that your parents are always right. 12. Getting married, having children,
and staying together long after all love has died, saying that its for the good of the chil-
dren (who are, apparently, deaf to the constant rows). 12a. Criticizing anyone who tries
to be different. 14. Waking up each morning to a hysterical alarm clock on the bedside table. 15. Believing absolutely everything that appears in print. 16. Wearing a
scrap of colored cloth around your neck, even though it serves no useful purpose, but which answers to the name of tie. 17. Never asking a direct question, even though the other person can guess what it is you want to know. 18. Keeping a smile on your lips even when youre on
the verge of tears. Feeling sorry for those who show their feelings. 19. Believing that art is either
worth a fortune or worth nothing at all. 20. Despising anything that was easy to achieve because if no sac-
rifice was involved, it obviously isnt worth having. 21. Following fashion trends, however
ridiculous or uncomfort-
able. 22. Believing that all famous people have tons of money saved up. 23. Investing a lot of time and money in external beauty and caring little about inner beauty. 24. Using every means possible to show that, although youre just an ordinary human being, youre far above other mortals. 25. Never looking anyone in the
eye when youre traveling on public transport, in case its interpreted as a sign youre trying to get off with them. 26. Standing facing the door in an elevator and pretending youre the only person there, regardless of how crowded it is. 27. Never laughing too loudly in a
restaurant however good the joke. 28. In the northern hemisphere, always dressing according to the
in his pocket. He seems so independent and free; if Javits werent feeling so tired, he
would really like to talk to him.
He turns to one of his friends. What does being normal mean? Is your conscience troubling
you? Have you done something you shouldnt have? Javits has clearly asked the wrong question of the wrong man. His companion will perhaps assume that hes regretting what hes made of his life and that he
wants to start anew, but that isnt it at all. And if he does have regrets, its too late to
begin again; he knows the rules of the game.
I asked you what being normal means?
One of the friends looks bewildered. The other keeps surveying the tent, watching people
come and go.
Living like someone who lacks all ambition, the first friend says at last.
Javits takes his list out of his pocket and puts it on the table. I always have this with
me and I add to it all the time. The friend says that he cant look at it now because he
has to keep alert to whats going on around them. The other man, though, more relaxed and confident,
reads the list out loud:
1. Normal is anything that makes us forget who we are and what we want; that way we can
work in order to produce, reproduce, and earn money.
2. Setting out rules for waging war (the Geneva Convention). 3. Spending years studying at
university only to find at the end of it all that youre unemployable. 4. Working from nine till five every day at something that
gives you no pleasure at all just so that, after thirty years, you can retire. 5. Retiring and discovering that you no longer have enough energy to enjoy life and dying a few years later of sheer boredom. 6. Using Botox. 7. Believing
that power is much more important than money and that money is much more important than happiness.
8. Making fun of anyone who seeks happiness rather than money and accusing them of lacking
ambition.
9. Comparing objects like cars, houses, clothes, and defining life according to those
comparisons, instead of trying to discover the real reason for being alive.
10. Never talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about the neighbors.
11. Believing that your parents are always right. 12. Getting married, having children,
and staying together long after all love has died, saying that its for the good of the chil-
dren (who are, apparently, deaf to the constant rows). 12a. Criticizing anyone who tries
to be different. 14. Waking up each morning to a hysterical alarm clock on the bedside table. 15. Believing absolutely everything that appears in print. 16. Wearing a
scrap of colored cloth around your neck, even though it serves no useful purpose, but which answers to the name of tie. 17. Never asking a direct question, even though the other person can guess what it is you want to know. 18. Keeping a smile on your lips even when youre on
the verge of tears. Feeling sorry for those who show their feelings. 19. Believing that art is either
worth a fortune or worth nothing at all. 20. Despising anything that was easy to achieve because if no sac-
rifice was involved, it obviously isnt worth having. 21. Following fashion trends, however
ridiculous or uncomfort-
able. 22. Believing that all famous people have tons of money saved up. 23. Investing a lot of time and money in external beauty and caring little about inner beauty. 24. Using every means possible to show that, although youre just an ordinary human being, youre far above other mortals. 25. Never looking anyone in the
eye when youre traveling on public transport, in case its interpreted as a sign youre trying to get off with them. 26. Standing facing the door in an elevator and pretending youre the only person there, regardless of how crowded it is. 27. Never laughing too loudly in a
restaurant however good the joke. 28. In the northern hemisphere, always dressing according to the
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