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vision to see it in advance would
ruin all the fun).
    “I had sixteen
voicemails today from him, all of them about you. He appears to
think that as a Valkyrie you are contractually unable to get
married whilst serving and that you have another two hundred and
twelve years of service left on an unbreakable contract.” said a
weary Freya.
    “You didn’t
correct him did you?” asked Liberty anxiously.
    “Of course I
did. I’m not getting involved in your bollocks.”
    “Aw no, I’ve
been using that as an excuse for the last three days.”
    “Listen I don’t
care who your father is or how bloody good you are at your job, you
are not embroiling Asgard in any Olympian disputes.”
    “What do you
mean?” asked Liberty
    “I’m telling
you that if you go all of Helen of Troy on me I will shut that shit
down. You can’t hide behind us forever. Would it not be easier to
just succumb to a guy like that?”
    “What do you
think eternity with him would be like?” Liberty knew that Freya
would already have a concrete opinion about that.
    “He’s either
going to go a bit odd and never let you leave the house or he’ll
get bored of you very quickly and get back to shagging any odd
nymph he can find. That or kill you. Look Apollo’s a catch. He’s a
sun god who writes poetry and he’s so fit. So he’s a little bit
defective, but they all are. You’re never really going to do any
better so you may as well settle. You can learn to love him or at
least develop Stockholm Syndrome or something, so what’s the
problem?”
    “I can’t
foresee it but I have this gut feeling that it will all end in a
Greek tragedy.”
    “Gut feelings
are just prejudices that we attempt to rationalise.” Freya said
trying desperately to solve a problem like Liberty. At this point
Freya had felt that she had done as much as she could to avoid too
much grief from Apollo later and wandered off. Glory, Honour and
Bea returned from the bar with glasses of mead. Bea handed one over
to Liberty who sorely needed it.
    “Was Odin
taking the piss when he named Freya as goddess of war and love?”
asked Bea.
    “He is
decidedly lacking in humour.” Honour said.
    “Are you okay
Liberty?” asked Glory concernedly.
    “Yeah I’m
fine.” Liberty was clearly not fine.
    The annoying
girl who had sat next to Bea and tried to befriend her at the
careers talk had spotted her through the crowd and came rushing
over. Glory noticed her approach and rolled her eyes as Honour and
Liberty stood there fascinated by the utter annoyingness of the
girl. The girl was wearing Freya’s colours.
    “Hey
girlfriend.” said the annoying dryad.
    “Hey, so I see
you’re one of Freya’s handmaidens now. That’s almost cool.” Bea
said.
    “Yeah, it’s
pretty awesome. Oh I’m Amethyst by the way I don’t think I had a
chance to tell you earlier. Today was so awesome; I went shopping
for toe rings. Tomorrow I get to go on the hunt for the elusive
perfect nail varnish remover. It takes off all the varnish, whilst
leaving your cuticles soft and smelling scrummy. It’s all so
awesome.” said Bea’s new friend Amethyst.
    “Oi, fuck off.”
Glory barked like a Doberman. Amethyst looked bewildered and backed
off like a wounded rabbit.
    “Such a
fucktard. She described Freya’s piss. What strange dryads you
attract Bea. Anyone want some more mead?” Glory asked having noted
the abundance of empty glasses in their hands.
    “I need some.”
Liberty said.
    “Ditto. What do
you think of mead Bea?” Honour asked. Glory and Liberty walked off
towards the bar get some more pints leaving the other two to
talk.
    “I like it,
it’s quite yummy.” Bea was heard to say.
    ***
    Glory and
Liberty were standing at the bar both trying to make eye contact
with an inattentive barmaid when they both felt an arm go around
their shoulders. Liberty’s face fell; she had seen this one coming.
Standing in the middle of them, like the pervy ham in a Valkyrie
sandwich, was Odin. Odin