grabbed my phone. I missed Lily and I wanted to get home to her. God, I had a lifetime of making up to do to her and I owed her a huge explanation. I loved her so much and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I decided to send her a text message.
“Hi, Lily. I’ll be coming back to Santa Monica tomorrow and we need to talk.”
I waited for a response. Nothing. I set my phone down and jumped into the shower. When I was finished, I looked at my phone again and still no response. Shit.
****
Lily
I spent the last few days locked in my apartment. The only time I left was when I went to dinner with Maddie. Gretchen, Giselle, and Sam kept calling and checking up on me and even Lucky stopped by for a visit. I hopped into my Explorer and drove to my appointment with Dr. Blakely.
“Come in, Lily. I’m glad you’re here. You really had me worried on the phone.”
“Thanks, Dr. Blakely,” I said as I took a seat in the oversized leather chair.
“Have you heard from Luke?” she asked.
“No. I sent him a couple of text messages, but he never responded.”
“I want you to tell me how you’re feeling right now.”
“I’m sad and hurt, but most of all, I’m angry. I’m really angry!” I spewed.
“That’s understandable. Words can hurt louder than actions. I think you and Luke both have issues you need to work on. His issue is with Callie’s death. I don’t think he ever put closure on that and then there’s your issues with your sister and Hunter.”
I sat there, playing with a piece of string that was hanging from the bottom of my shirt.
“He pretty much called me a murderer. He blames me for Callie’s death and maybe he’s right. Why did I have to give those tickets away? I should have just thrown them in the garbage. I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me.”
“Saying never is pretty harsh.”
“Yeah, well my life has been pretty harsh.”
“What if he were to walk through that door right now and beg for your forgiveness. What would you do?”
“I don’t know because, right now, I’m so angry.”
“Angry at what? Him or the fact you gave him the tickets?”
“Both.”
“Are you still angry at Brynn and Hunter?”
“Yes.”
“Your mother?”
“We’re working on our relationship. Things are going well with her right now.”
“Good. Then you need to resolve your anger one step at a time. You can’t go through life being angry. You will never be your true self and it’ll always get in the way of your life.”
“Maybe you should be telling Luke that,” I said.
Her phone chimed, alerting us that my session was over. I got up from my seat, thanked her, and walked out of her office. I climbed in my Explorer and put my head down on the steering wheel. I was being forced to go back to the place I swore I’d never go back to.
****
Luke
Lily not responding to my message told me that she didn’t want to talk to me. I dialed her number and it went straight to voicemail. I dialed Sam.
“Hey, Luke. How are you?” he answered.
“Hey, is Lily home?”
“I don’t know, bro. Gretchen and I are out to dinner. Why?”
“I texted her earlier and she never texted me back.”
“Do you fucking blame her? I wouldn’t text you back either.”
“Thanks, bro. I’ll be home tomorrow. If you see Lily, tell her that I need to talk to her.”
“I will, man. Safe travels.”
I sighed as I hung up the phone. I opened another bottle of beer, lay down on the bed, and scrolled through the pictures of me and Lily on my phone. I slowly ran my finger across Lily’s face, taking in how happy she looked, and how I had possibly destroyed her world. I had been in shock over my discovery. I said things I didn’t mean. Words that I would take back in a heartbeat. She had to forgive me, because if she didn’t, I didn’t know what I’d do. I wanted to call her and just hear her voice, but I was scared. If she didn’t respond to my text message, she wouldn’t pick up the phone
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