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letters of ze alphabet are
related. Indeed, zat zey are all merely different states of ze same basic
particle: ze alphabeton. And vot I have just done is to derive ze Equation of
State for ze alphabeton. And here it is!”
    He indicated an equation
written on the sheet of petromorphic ytterbium cellulose. It read:
    A - [P + T + E(1 +
C)] + (-1)V(L + V - 3) exp(A - L - 2) x 106 + 2 = 0
    “And it works!”
    “Fascinating,” said LEP, not
without a trace of sarcasm.
    “You see, all zese wariables
stand for ze warious quantum numbers of ze letters: A is ze number of angles in
ze letter, P is its number of wertices, V is ze letter’s ‘vowel number’, and so
on.”
    “Interesting.”
    “And all ze letters satisfy
zis Equation of State.”
    “Intriguing.”
    “Zis means zat if you give me
any symbol, I can count up ze number of points it has, its curwature number,
and so on.”
    “Spellbinding,” said LEP, now
choosing his words from a thesaurus.
    “Substitute ze walues into ze
equation and, if ze equation is satisfied, zen ze symbol must be a letter of ze
alphabet!”
    fluX looked at his equation
with the pride of a father viewing his newborn child.
    “Beguiling.”
    “You agree it is important,
ya?”
    “Er, what did you say the
equation was for again?” asked LEP.
    fluX gave a look of
exasperation. “It lets you vork out vether a symbol is an alphabeton – a letter
of ze alphabet!”
    “Can’t you tell this just by
looking at it?”
    “No, you are missing ze
point!”
    “Sorry.”
    “Zis equation allows me to
discover new letters of ze alphabet. Previously unknown letters of ze
alphabet. For, any symbol zat satisfies zis equation must also be an
alphabeton!” He shook his head in sheer wonder. “Can you imagine vot
discoveries I can make vis zis?”
    LEP tried, but failed.

 

    Chapter 5
     
    “ What did they have to say?” asked sylX breathlessly.
    “Who?” asked jixX.
    “The aliens,” said the
stowaway, her pale blue eyes sparkling with excitement.
    “Oh, them.” jixX was still
unsure whether to reveal mission details to her. “You’d better ask LEP. I’ve
got some tests to run,” he said, pressing buttons at random on the control
panel in front of him.
    “Well, LEP?” asked sylX,
flashing her pretty smile.
    “Not really. I feel a bit
weak right now. And you?”
    sylX laughed. “That wasn’t
the question, LEP, and you know it,” she said charmingly. “The aliens. Who are
they? What are they? What do they look like? Are they dangerous? What do they
eat? What do they believe in? How technologically advanced are they?” Her eyes
literally twinkled as she spoke.
    “Er,” said LEP a trifle
uncertainly. “We’ve thought of a name for them: the Mamm aliens.”
    “Go on,” urged the stowaway,
bursting with curiosity.
    “Er, that’s pretty much it,
so far,” admitted LEP. “Except that they can fire bricks through spaceship
windows from a great distance.”
    “Bricks!” exclaimed the
stowaway. “What, you mean like this one?” She picked up the brick from the desk
where jixX had left it. ‘Landing permission granted,’ she read and looked up.
“Wow, this is fantastic! They can do joined-up writing!” She showed the brick
to anaX who had just entered the control room, but the latter seemed
preoccupied.
    “This is so great,” said
sylX. “During all my years of stowing away I’ve been dreaming of this moment.
To meet aliens! A first encounter with an extraterrestrial species. I’ve been
on so many ships – and nothing. And now, at last the big moment has come!”
    jixX gave a slightly
embarrassed nod, not quite knowing what to say. He pushed a few more buttons.
There followed a long, pregnant pause, which was suddenly broken by the sound
of a door swishing open.
    jixX heard a gasp of
astonishment from anaX, followed shortly by one from sylX. He swivelled his
anti-inertial command couch and he, too, let out a gasp.
    Slowly entering the control
room with a quiet