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for specific goals on a more narrow track. Training, like the rest of our kinky relationship styles, is above all personal . Never try to use someone else’s training program! What do they know about your preferences, your style, your relationship, your lovers? Nada, zilch, zip. Using their training would be like using their underwear; it might look like it fits, but wouldn’t you rather have your own?
    So, start out with something you enjoy, a pleasure your slave might become better at providing. Let’s say a mistress really enjoys having her pussy licked, and her slave is adequate at pussy licking, but perhaps not inspired. The goal is to get the slave up to speed on cunnilingus.
    Next, the top determines what exercises you can use to improve the slave’s linguistic talents. Of course, some exercises will be personal and sexual: “Lick me there. Harder. Swirl your tongue. Now, suck my clit.” These instructions, delivered while the slave services the top, are the most obvious start of a training program. You can also deliver instructions before you practice the act. “Using your tongue like a brush, spell out all the words to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ on my clit, and suck on my labia during the instrumental parts.”
    But there’s no need to stop there. How about including others in the training? If you are polyamorous or nonmonogamous, bring in a special teacher, or someone to practice with, or on. Or bring in some inanimate teachers—dildos to stand in for cocks, little candies for clits, pillows and balloons for skills in beating, shaving, body painting, whatever floats your boat. Due to the restrictions on nudity and sexual behavior in public, sexuality educators have found many ingenious ways to demonstrate erotic techniques on and with objects. Feel free to use their tricks for your own training program. Of course, you can also send your slave to attend classes and workshops given by others and report back to you on what they learn. An order to learn something is an assignment .
    Assignments can be brief and amusing, like “Find ten slang terms for cunnilingus.” They can include more serious research, as in “Read this book on anal sex and fisting.” Or they can consist of directions to practice a technique: “Massage five people at next weekend’s fetish frolic.” They can be geared toward a specific act, or even to a style of behavior. Suppose you and your partners love the fantasy of an Edwardian household, complete with high teas and fancy clothing and strict master/servant roles. Assign your sex slave to find the right clothing, and set the scene for the grand, formal tea-service-and-caning you schedule for your next big date night. Or have them read some nice Victorian porn to you, posed on their knees while you sip your tea or brandy.
    When training expands beyond the realm of sexual techniques and encompasses role playing and other behaviors, the world likewise grows tenfold. Suppose it’s not just the sex and play and fucking the top enjoys, but the attitude of the bottom that makes her so much more ecstatic. Maybe you enjoy a cringing, fearful victim for your diabolic schemes as opposed to a fancy-free happy slut! Or, perhaps the formality of the whole “Yes, my lord and master” role play is more to your taste than “Sure, honey, right after I worm the cat.” Either way, giving the bottom an order to behave the way you like for a set amount of time is a great way not only to use that authority of yours but to set yourselves up for some great flirting.
    Flirting? Why not? Flirting should not end just because you have an established relationship. And erotic role play, whether full-time or fit-into-your-busy-lives-whenever-you-have-the-time-and-privacy-to-enjoy-it, is flirtatious, sexy, and its own reward. So tell your slave, “On Saturday, all day, I will be holding you captive; tremble and obey!” That is an assignment that should be received with pleasure and anticipation. The worst