before anything was planned, she broke it off to fly back home because she was homesick.
When she got here, she flitted from job to job, and for the time being, she takes people’s portraits at a photography studio. She’s extremely talented and just got a huge raise and a promotion, which means she’ll probably tire of it soon and move on to something else. And when she does, she’ll land on her feet and find something new that she’s just as good at.
Things just have a way of working out for her like that. And the whole time she’s flitting from guy to guy, job to job, home to home, she leaves a bloody swath of broken hearts in her wake. I know because I’ve spent many nights on our shared home phone consoling these poor, miserable saps when she dumps them and runs off with the next in line to catch her interest.
I decided long ago not to get attached to anyone in her life. But then Drew came along, and I made an exception. He’s someone special, and I truly hoped April was finally growing up and settling down, and that all her declarations of love for Drew actually meant something.
I feel an ache in my chest, and I’m not sure if it’s from running, or if I’m just really, really sad for Drew. I stop on the trail and see him slow down, then stop and run in place ahead of me. “Come on, Ember. We’re almost there. Finish strong.”
I hold up a hand to indicate that I need to stop for a minute, then lean over to catch my breath, wrapping an arm over my stomach and staring down at my sneakers.
Drew saunters back to me and holds out his water bottle. “Here.”
“That’s okay…I still have some,” I say.
“You alright? You look like something’s wrong.”
“I’m fine…Just a little pain in my heart, that’s all.”
,
Chapter 17
Transformation
I do something I’ve never done in my entire life. I accrue a balance on my credit card that I won’t be able to pay off at the end of the month, something my fiscally responsible father drilled into me never, ever to do on penalty of crushing debt and eventual bankruptcy.
But it’s worth the risk, because I just dropped the money on a bunch of lingerie to celebrate the fact that for the first time ever, I love the way I look naked.
I’m sure some women out there lose a bunch of weight and then fixate on something else they don’t like about themselves, but not me. I’ve always despised being fat—it‘s the one thing I’ve always deeply and truly hated about myself. And now that’s it’s gone, I finally feel free in a way I’ve never felt before.
I could admire myself in the mirror for hours, and I do. Hey, after all the years I’ve spent hating myself and all the suffering I’ve done at the gym for the past five months, I’m allowed to be a little vain. Plus I can’t eat anything delicious anymore, so I might as well enjoy the upside.
I expected my boobs to shrink, which they did. But I still overflow a C cup, and my butt hasn’t gone anywhere either.
Since April has always been a skinny waif, I figured that when I lost weight, I’d look the same way. But it turns out we have totally different body types, and while the rest of me has shrunk down to a size 8 and all my unacceptable bulges are smaller and sleeker, I still have curves, and I imagine I still will when I shed another two sizes and reach my final goal.
In the meantime, I buy sexy lingerie for the first time. A lot of it, even if it’s not going to fit for much longer. I simply can’t resist. I pick out a lacy red bra and panty set, a delicate pink bra and thong and several slip nighties in various colors. They’re nothing like the nighties Brian used to buy me. They’re completely sheer and leave nothing to the imagination. But my piece de resistance is a black bra and thong set with a matching garter belt, which looks like something a gorgeous celebrity would wear in a movie. I have no
When she got here, she flitted from job to job, and for the time being, she takes people’s portraits at a photography studio. She’s extremely talented and just got a huge raise and a promotion, which means she’ll probably tire of it soon and move on to something else. And when she does, she’ll land on her feet and find something new that she’s just as good at.
Things just have a way of working out for her like that. And the whole time she’s flitting from guy to guy, job to job, home to home, she leaves a bloody swath of broken hearts in her wake. I know because I’ve spent many nights on our shared home phone consoling these poor, miserable saps when she dumps them and runs off with the next in line to catch her interest.
I decided long ago not to get attached to anyone in her life. But then Drew came along, and I made an exception. He’s someone special, and I truly hoped April was finally growing up and settling down, and that all her declarations of love for Drew actually meant something.
I feel an ache in my chest, and I’m not sure if it’s from running, or if I’m just really, really sad for Drew. I stop on the trail and see him slow down, then stop and run in place ahead of me. “Come on, Ember. We’re almost there. Finish strong.”
I hold up a hand to indicate that I need to stop for a minute, then lean over to catch my breath, wrapping an arm over my stomach and staring down at my sneakers.
Drew saunters back to me and holds out his water bottle. “Here.”
“That’s okay…I still have some,” I say.
“You alright? You look like something’s wrong.”
“I’m fine…Just a little pain in my heart, that’s all.”
,
Chapter 17
Transformation
I do something I’ve never done in my entire life. I accrue a balance on my credit card that I won’t be able to pay off at the end of the month, something my fiscally responsible father drilled into me never, ever to do on penalty of crushing debt and eventual bankruptcy.
But it’s worth the risk, because I just dropped the money on a bunch of lingerie to celebrate the fact that for the first time ever, I love the way I look naked.
I’m sure some women out there lose a bunch of weight and then fixate on something else they don’t like about themselves, but not me. I’ve always despised being fat—it‘s the one thing I’ve always deeply and truly hated about myself. And now that’s it’s gone, I finally feel free in a way I’ve never felt before.
I could admire myself in the mirror for hours, and I do. Hey, after all the years I’ve spent hating myself and all the suffering I’ve done at the gym for the past five months, I’m allowed to be a little vain. Plus I can’t eat anything delicious anymore, so I might as well enjoy the upside.
I expected my boobs to shrink, which they did. But I still overflow a C cup, and my butt hasn’t gone anywhere either.
Since April has always been a skinny waif, I figured that when I lost weight, I’d look the same way. But it turns out we have totally different body types, and while the rest of me has shrunk down to a size 8 and all my unacceptable bulges are smaller and sleeker, I still have curves, and I imagine I still will when I shed another two sizes and reach my final goal.
In the meantime, I buy sexy lingerie for the first time. A lot of it, even if it’s not going to fit for much longer. I simply can’t resist. I pick out a lacy red bra and panty set, a delicate pink bra and thong and several slip nighties in various colors. They’re nothing like the nighties Brian used to buy me. They’re completely sheer and leave nothing to the imagination. But my piece de resistance is a black bra and thong set with a matching garter belt, which looks like something a gorgeous celebrity would wear in a movie. I have no
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