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is very still.”
    The Paqo smiled. “Good. Very good. Now study the spider.”
    Perhaps I had passed the listening test. I turned my attention to the lone spider still sitting atop the jug. It was motionless, but Sumac stirred in response to my subtle shift in position.
    â€œAll is one. All is now,” the Paqo said. “To realize this is to reach Beyond. Study the spider. Learn its wisdom. Its eyes are your eyes. All is one. There is a language more powerful and ancient than the human tongue. Hear the language of the world.”
    I tried to understand. I leaned forward, watching the spider so intently, my eyes began to water and blur. Still I stared. I tried to listen to the wisdom of the spider.
    Suddenly, Sumac reached down, and in one quick peck he snatched the bug into his mouth. The Handsome One had eaten my spider lesson!
    The Paqo hooted with laughter. He rubbed his head in delight. “You see? Again the bird is a teacher! Where is the spider? Has it disappeared?”
    â€œIt’s in there now,” I said as I pointed to Sumac’s belly. He stretched his wings upward and bobbed his feathered head in bird delight.
    â€œWe all are one. Bird and spider. Leaf and wind. To hear is to see. To feel is to know. The past is now. All is Beyond. Do you understand?”
    Another question. I would answer truthfully. “No.”
    The Paqo nodded his head appreciatively at my honesty. “Good. Then you are not meant to.”
    I wasn’t meant to understand? Then why was I here? Was this to be my last lesson?
    The Paqo twitched his fingers at me as he added, “Yet.”
    I was afraid to speak, but also, I was afraid not to. “Will there come a time when I
do
understand? Is it possible I am the right and true person to study with you?”
    â€œI’m not the one to answer such questions.”
    â€œWho is?”
    â€œYou.”
    The word hovered in the air. It clung to my wool cloak and settled on my shoulders far more heavily than the weight of Sumac.
    â€œBut not yet,” the Paqo added. “New voices need time to grow. Study the spiders. Study all. Watch, listen, feel the oneness. You will know when you will know.”
    This was the end of the lesson. I didn’t back out of the
wasi
bowing and kissing my fingers at the Paqo as Cora had, for it didn’t seem appropriate. But I did pause at the hummingbird weaving in the doorway to say, “
Pachis
.”
    â€œYou are most welcome, New Voice. I will see you tomorrow.”
    I smiled at these words. Not only because they told me there would be more lessons, but also because I had finally been given a name other than the Ugly One.

10
Mama Killa
Moon Mother
    I studied all. I watched the people purge their homes at the start of the new moon. Every corner was cleaned, and corn-dough was rubbed along entranceways to appease the spirits of dirt and sickness. I listened for the ancient language of the world as Mama Killa, Moon Mother, grew larger in the sky night by night, but I had yet to hear the voice of Beyond right and true. I found myself questioning more and more why the shaman had chosen me. The spirit world would never speak to such an ugly girl, no matter how hard or long I listened.
    I heard the laughter of the women and the girls of the
llaqta
. Not because the rains had arrived, for Inti still reigned in the daytime skies, but because it was Coya Raymi, a time of celebration for the women. It was during this moon cycle, once a year, that the women and Mama Killa were most honored and happy. On the night when Mama Killa was at her fullest, the entire village celebrated with a lavish communal meal, although no one spoke of how meager the feast would be this year. I studied the people and saw the worry carved into their faces like a carefully designed mask.
    A strange shift had occurred in me. But I was so intent on studying the world that I didn’t notice it until Chasca pointed it out to me.